Inheritance and DH

[FlippetyFlop77]

DH inherited from his parents years ago as they passed relatively young. He wisely invested in rentals at the time (years before we met). He sold one recently which enabled us to get jobs done on our home. (We are mortgage free for perspective and he has 2 daughters from a previous marriage).

He will leave the remaining rental properties to them when he passes. I will remain in our home which was purchased jointly, until my death, at which point his half will then go to his daughters, mine to my beneficiaries of choice.

I will at some point receive a fairly decent inheritance from my parents. Dad has passed and his half is in Trust. If my DM doesn't require care, her share of our family home will also come to me as I'm an only child.

My question is what do I do with it when the time comes and the house is sold? Do I put it all into our joint account? But then if I die first my parents inheritance will all go to DH and eventually his children as I don't have any DC.

Do I open a seperate account and put it all in my name (but does that seem awful?)

I don't really want the mither of investing etc, but ideally would like the majority for pension top up or if I eventually required care down the line.

So, should I just put some into our joint account (as he shared some of his inheritance with me) then the rest in an account solely in my name?

Has anyone else been in this situation and can advise on the fairest way or have any thoughts on the best way to handle things without it being awkward? It's a bit of a minefield when you don't have children together, if we did I would leave everything to DH which would eventually pass to my parents grandchildren.

I have a cordial relationship with my Step daughters but not close if that helps?

My DH has 2 children (adults), I have none.

When one of us dies the other will inherit everything. When the other dies any assets will be split 50/50 between his 2 children and my siblings, or their children if that sibling has died.

If I had no siblings I think I'd leave my half to Charities

I think when families are blended, keeping things separate is wise (and I say that as someone with fully joint finances with DH, but we have no DSC to consider).

By keeping it separate you're just doing the same as him.

Use it to make your joint lives more comfortable, but ring fence it so that you can leave anything that's left to the relatives of your choice. Probably worth getting legal and/or financial advice when the time comes to make sure this happens as you wish.

This is not necessary.
The bank will release the money to pay for a funeral
I've done it a couple of times

Can I ask why you think this way?

Do I open a seperate account and put it all in my name (but does that seem awful?)

No reason for this be bad thing. You’re not hiding the money, I’m assuming he’ll know about it.

I would suggest that talk to 2 different people.. a proper estate planner and a reputable financial planner.

The statement you made about investing doesn’t make sense. It can be complicated or it can be as simple as it would be putting into a savings account. I’m guessing that you aren’t familiar or knowledgeable about investing and you feel like it’s a daunting thing… but it really doesn’t have to be.

If I live to be 80, my stepdaughters would be in their 60s. I would prefer to leave to younger people close to me.

So neither stepdaughter has children/your DH has no grandchildren? Otherwise your preference for younger people to inherit does not apply?

Op said she "would prefer to leave to younger people close to me". I assume she's not particularly close to her stepdaughters' children (if they have any) if she is not close to her stepdaughters?

I know. It just makes things easier. Our solicitor recommended it.

Get your own bank account. And your own Will. You don't have to disclose the contents, or even the existence of your Will to your husband or anyone else, just lodge it with your solicitor and make sure somebody knows about it in case you die unexpectedly.

I'd like to think this is how it works but DH and I have set up a trust to protect our daughter should one of us die and the other unwittingly remarry in the early stages of dementia cutting out our child accidentally should the remaining parent die.

Very lucky my Mother didn't fall victim to numerous attempts in her early dementia period.

My thoughts might be, having been in various situations over the years involving money & inheritance

1. What if DH ends up in care? Given that all his income & capital would go towards his care how might that leave you? Women can get shafted in these situations as they dont get anything from their husbands income
2. There is then the issue of your heirs, how keen are you that they benefit from whatever is left from your and your parents estates? If the answer is that you are not that fussed then putting the money in joint names isnt an issue. If you want them to benefit then keep it in your own name.

What I think though is that as far as possible you need to think of all the potential outcomes. If you die first, if your DH dies first, if either of you need care, etc etc etc.....

Then you need to think what you want to happen to the money in these various situations

In theory this is really lovely. And I salute you. But, just as a theoretical exercise, you remarried after your DH death, and your new DH wasn't really nice. There could be problems. Personally I'd want to protect my children's future against this.

Thank you for the salute 😍😅! I understand what you're saying. One thing I didn't mention and that I don't think would matter to DH or me but might to others in my situation- I'm by far the higher earner in our relationship and when DH and I met he had nothing. So his children do stand to inherit far more with me in the picture than they would have without me.

Personally I'd want to protect my children's future against this.

Easily done - don’t remarry. Nothing would induce me to if I was widowed. Most women over a certain age are old enough and savvy enough to stay single.