Inheritance and DH

[FlippetyFlop77]

DH inherited from his parents years ago as they passed relatively young. He wisely invested in rentals at the time (years before we met). He sold one recently which enabled us to get jobs done on our home. (We are mortgage free for perspective and he has 2 daughters from a previous marriage).

He will leave the remaining rental properties to them when he passes. I will remain in our home which was purchased jointly, until my death, at which point his half will then go to his daughters, mine to my beneficiaries of choice.

I will at some point receive a fairly decent inheritance from my parents. Dad has passed and his half is in Trust. If my DM doesn't require care, her share of our family home will also come to me as I'm an only child.

My question is what do I do with it when the time comes and the house is sold? Do I put it all into our joint account? But then if I die first my parents inheritance will all go to DH and eventually his children as I don't have any DC.

Do I open a seperate account and put it all in my name (but does that seem awful?)

I don't really want the mither of investing etc, but ideally would like the majority for pension top up or if I eventually required care down the line.

So, should I just put some into our joint account (as he shared some of his inheritance with me) then the rest in an account solely in my name?

Has anyone else been in this situation and can advise on the fairest way or have any thoughts on the best way to handle things without it being awkward? It's a bit of a minefield when you don't have children together, if we did I would leave everything to DH which would eventually pass to my parents grandchildren.

I have a cordial relationship with my Step daughters but not close if that helps?

I think you are mixing up the situation in the event of divorce rather than inheritance. OP can leave assets in her sole name to whoever she pleases.

Why not keep the family home in your name solely as a rental property? Then you'd have your rental property, he'd have his. Seems fair.
Depending on what was discussed/agreed at the time you could maybe consider giving DH half of the amount spent on the recent house renovations.

This^

Why would she give him anything ? He didn’t give her money. The money he spent on renovations benefited him as well. He didn’t give the OP money and isn’t leaving his half of the property to her if he dies first.

I said maybe consider. We don't know what they agreed re funding the renovations but as you rightly pointed out, the money he spent on the house benefitted both. So it would be fair to return half of that cost to him.

I would hope that OP has given him a life interest in the house if she dies first, to go to beneficiaries of her choice upon his death, and is not simply leaving her share of the house to him. Fair's fair after all.

Keep it in a separate account. You have time to decide what you want to do with it. You don’t have to put the investment leg work in yourself if you would prefer to go that route - you can hire a financial advisor or broker.

It’s totally up to you who you want to leave it to. Just because you don’t have children doesn’t mean it needs to go to his.

if I die first my parents inheritance will all go to DH and eventually his children as I don't have any DC.

Why would that be an issue? We have four kids between us - one mine, three his - and our estate will be split equally four ways. If I didn’t have any children it would be split three ways.

OP says she has a cordial relationship with stepdaughters. I have a cordial relationship with my stepdaughter and she will receive nothing from my estate when I die.

We don’t have my estate and his. We share our money and assets.

If I live to be 80, my stepdaughters would be in their 60s. I would prefer to leave to younger people close to me.

@SleepingMermaid why are you posting nonsense “legal advice”? 🧐
If you’re going to pretend to know, do you think you’d want to at least find out what legal jurisdiction the OP is under? For example regarding divorce and inheritance, Scottish law has a different position.

OP, it’s your money, he kept his separate - do the same for yours. You can spend some on joint things if you want to of course, but keep it in your name. Inheritance from me goes to my children, but my will then provides that if that can’t happen, it’s split between children in my wider family - not my adult stepchildren who came late into my life and are provided for in my husband’s will (which I am not).

It sounds like you are well set up. Why not spend a share of it? Enjoy more holidays, upgrade car, do things that you normally wouldn't.

The poor Mother isnt even dead yet! 😲

I lost my Dad last year, I cannot imagine even thinking this in depth about the inheritance I will receive when my Mother passes.

People have different relationships with their parents and different ways of approaching practical matters and grief. It's not rocket science.

But we can't pretend these eventualities don't exist can we? I'm trying to plan ahead and want to do right by my parents with their money. If I pass away, would they want their inheritance to me to pass to my Step daughters who they hardly knew? Planning is essential and I'm just asking for possible future advice. My Mum may decide to blow her money on a world cruise (which is her right if she wishes) then I'd have only my Dad's half which is in Trust to me. We all need to plan ahead. If one things for certain- it's death.

My Mum is in her 80s. It's an eventuality that realistically isn't all that far off. So yes, I'm thinking ahead and want to plan to ensure I manage my parents money the right way, not on a wing and a prayer in the throes of grief.

then if I die first my parents inheritance will all go to DH and eventually his children as I don't have any DC.

If you’re dead and have no descendants then what do you care? Why wouldn’t you want your DH to inherit from you?

I would try and ascertain from your mum if there are any charities dear to her heart.
Lots of charities rely massively on people leaving money in wills. A large sum can make a huge difference to a small charity and if step daughters are already inheriting houses, I would be thinking about how I could make a difference to the world when I depart.

I think you are being very sensible. I am fully aware of the details in my parents’ will and have POA set up. If I die before my DH and my parents, my share goes to my DC and not DH for instance. People who are outraged by forward planning are not, I would guess, at our stage of life.

It sounds like you have a lifetime trust in place for your own will. If not, that’s what you need. The bank account is irrelevant I think in terms of what happens if you die, because your will determines where your assets go. This is where the trust would come in. It is relevant however for where you would bank your inheritance and I would definitely have a separate personal account for it so that only you can access it during your lifetime. Not that you won’t share it with your DH in terms of home improvements, cars, holidays whatever - just that you control access.

Just wanted to add, for balance. My DH is about to receive a large amount. He will pay off the mortgage with it and any loans etc we have, plus some home improvements. He’s also going to “give” some to me to bank in my isa. But otherwise, it will be in his account and I don’t feel I should have access to it. We have always had separate bank accounts.

Nope.

anything in your sole name you can leave to whoever you choose.

joint accounts it depends on whether there is survivorship. If there is it automatically goes to the other account holder. If not, half goes to your estate to whoever inherits, the other half to the other account holder.

i believe a will be an be challenged if adequate provisions are not made for a dependent. Although it may be different in Scotland.

my house is in my sole name. I have left it to my children, dh has the right to live in it until he remarried, dies, or chooses otherwise. He will not inherit and can’t leave it to anyone else. As he is provided for he won’t be able to challenge the will.

In your situation, a separate account and re-make your Will if necessary, ie thinking what's right to give DH but taking into account those funds will pass to his daughters unless it's held in some sort of trust. Obviously before your death, think about how that money could benefit you personally, ie more refurbishment in current property, new items you'd like, a lifetime experience, better car etc.

But poor people are bereaved too! I was orphaned as a teen and my parents had nothing. But an inheritance would have made my young life a bit easier. We all die in the end-so losing someone isn’t anything out of the ordinary-heartbreaking though it is.

If you put your inheritance in the joint account, and then he goes first, do you lose half of what's in the joint account or is that not included in the will?

I'd definitely keep it separate anyway. It sounds less complicated that way. That doesn't mean you won't transfer some to the joint account if needed/use some for house repairs etc. But it can sit separately until you decide what to do with it - you may change your mind about investments, especially if the money could be sat there long term not keeping up with inflation.

Joint accounts automatically become the property of the survivor, that’s why we keep the price of a funeral in our joint savings account.