Are there other places equivalent to Mumsnet?

[MyOleMan]

I like having a place to think about random stuff but my mental health is fragile and I’m finding it increasingly fraught on mumsnet. Does anyone recommend any other platform?

If you're over 50 Gransnet? Plenty of non-grans on there.

Not really. There are other discussion forums but MN is unique as a community imo.

yes I think I should revert to friends irl

Could you name a few discussion forums @sprigatito ? I don’t really know where to start looking

The only one I can think of that covers such a broad range of topics is Reddit but I would absolutely not recommend.

There's Netmums, which is allegedly a bit gentler than MN, and the various Reddit sub forums.

What’s netmums like?

Can you avoid Aibu etc. Chat is usually ok.

There are lots that are better in some ways because they're more intimate and people "know" each other. They may be slightly quieter but you don't get people rocking up and sticking their oar in when they haven't read the thread. Or posting an inflammatory post so everyone responds to it and the thread gets derailed.

MN is good for the range of topics and visibility but you have to get good at scrolling past the rubbish, same with any massive forum like Reddit etc.

What are you actually interested in? As forums often build up around interests even if they end up being about everything in the end.

I do wonder if there could be a BeKind board where the talk guidelines are stricter and it’s more of a safe place to post for people who are struggling. I can imagine it would be flooded though and impossible to moderate for MNHQ. I find some boards are kinder than others. AIBU can be brutal!
I’m sorry to hear that you are feeling fragile with regards your mental health at the moment.

I really like reddit, there is literally a subreddit (like a mini discussion forum) for anyone and everyone. that does mean there is a load of 14 yr old american kids talking about their nonsense. but also you can find your tribe whoever they may be. it takes a little while to learn how to navigate but once you do it can be a great place.

some subreddits i like:

r/Art
r/AskHistorians
r/benignexistence
r/casualUK
r/DIYUK
r/natureisfuckinglit
r/witchesvspatriarchy

Obvs there are things that interest me but have a poke around, you will find all sorts of interesting / funny / educational things.

I love this idea.

Babycentre forums are very similar - there is even an AIBU. But people are pretty harsh on there 😬

Adding to this -

r/cozy
r/BritishSuccess
r/declutter (and other similar ones)
r/EOOD (exercise out of depression)
r/GardeningUK
r/HouseplantsUK
r/Poemforyour_sprog (fabulous poems by one poster)
Various simple living type subs

Reddit veers between AIBU on steroids and sublime. Choose your subs wisely and it can be great.

Netmums is the most obvious one.

Reddit is huge and I'm sure you can find sub reddits which are heavily moderated and you aren't allowed to say anything critical or unsupportive. You just need to read the sub descriptions and rules and find some that seem the right fit for you. Stay away from the huge subs, look for smaller ones.
Or stay here and hide topics like aibu. Only browse the sections with less conflict.
FB groups might be another I suppose, again read the groups rules and pick those that don't permit conflict. They are out there.

The problem with that is that it implies other boards are a free-for-all to be nasty, which really they are not.

Nice idea. One where people don't keep swearing all the time either it's unnecessary.
There's alot of vile, foulmouthed people around looking for attention.

Nice idea. One where people don't keep swearing all the time either it's unnecessary.
There's alot of vile, foulmouthed people around looking for attention.

I don’t agree, and worry that you may be missing the whole point of this thread.

If you have a 'Be Kind' board it implies it's OK to be unkind on other boards, and being deliberately unkind is already against the talk guidelines.

I see no reason why people would be any kinder on a 'Be Kind' board than any other board; a troll isn't going to think 'Oh, I must avoid being nasty on this board' - if anything, it might attract people looking only to goad and upset because people are identifying themselves as vulnerable.

Of course, different boards here have different vibes. AIBU can be harsh - but by posting in AIBU, a poster is accepting the possibility of being told they are unreasonable.

This is the open internet and there are all sorts of people out there.

As a general rule, the more niche the board, the more likely you are to get supportive responses from people who understand your situation. So it pays to spend time looking for the right board, and to be patient for responses rather than posting in a fast-moving topic 'for traffic'.

This is a great idea. I struggle on here too due to how unkind some people are. I wonder if there is a way of setting up a sub forum.

There's a family section on Martin Lewis's moneysavingexpert forums. I've not been there for a while, but I can't see it'll have changed. Very helpful and on the whole less viper-ish. There's sub-boards for pets, bereavement and children. Other bits too for home repairs, old style cleaning and housekeeping, days out, recommended, etc.

As you say, there are already Talk Guidelines in place, however, there are unfortunately some posters who don’t post in good faith and sail close to the wind! There could be a board where there’s zero tolerance or even stricter guidelines. I have already said though that this would be extremely difficult. It speaks volumes that on this short thread there’s already been a deletion.

You’re right in that some boards are ‘kinder’ than others. But if the platform went along the line of your thinking then there wouldn’t be safe spaces on it, like black mumsnetters for example. These spaces are important although some don’t always treat them with the respect they deserve and feel entitled to post anywhere. (There’ll always be one!) However, such boards are policed more sensitively and so they should be.

Thank you so much to everyone else who thinks it’s a good idea 💗

There are lots of nice subs on Reddit, it gets a bad rap because there are some right arseholes on some of the bigger and more popular subs (like anywhere on the internet), but some of the smaller more niche subs can be lovely. There's decent mental health support, loads of little craft and hobby subs etc. There are some subs where derailing and bickering on a thread is completely banned and any derailing from the original subject gets removed.

A "gentle" board on here might be nice though. I wouldn't call it BeKind because of the negative connotations that come with the "be kind" movement, but somewhere for people to post when they just want support and gentle advice, and any derailing or arguing or bunfights would just get removed. Big job for the mods though.