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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wedding colour

56 replies

MRTvw · 29/05/2024 22:23

My brother in law (husbands brother) and his future wife are requesting that the family wear a particular colour in the wedding to match the bridal party.

I find it weird to be told I have to wear a certain colour, it's green which I don't ever wear and isn't part of my usual style / palette. I'm also confused as to why I have to be told what to wear why can't I wear what I want? The more I'm being told I need to wear green, the more it's annoying me.

Does anyone else relate? I know it's their wedding but they can't dictate what colour people wear surely? Never did that in my wedding. Just wanted people to be comfortable

OP posts:
takealettermsjones · 29/05/2024 22:26

I mean, there are lots of nice shades of green. They're not asking you to wear neon!

They're trying to include you, make it clear you're family, make a nice colour palette for photos etc.

Why not just humour them?

Youcannotbeseriousreally · 29/05/2024 22:27

I’m really sorry you’re related to such ridiculous, entitled wankers!

these kind of people really need to get over themselves

Beautifulbythebay · 29/05/2024 22:30

We had very very few at our wedding.. As in dc and a couple of mates.. We all wore black and white. It was great! Except 1 who turned up with uninvited dc. 1 wearing a fuschia pink dress...

Ponoka7 · 29/05/2024 22:31

It's for the photos. However it's common among some people from countries in Africa. There's a lot if sage about if a strong green isn't your colour. Don't be the odd one out on the family pictures.

Abigaillovesholidays · 29/05/2024 22:32

It can be hard trying to find the right dress as it is without being limited to a colour!

DPotter · 29/05/2024 22:37

Well my Mum and Grans would be mortified about wearing green to a wedding - meant to be unlucky. Someone did explain the superstition behind this but I've forgotten sorry.

I presume the men will wear a green tie with standard suits, so could you wear a dress with green scarf and bag ?

I personally find it very rude to ask someone to wear a particular colour / style especially if its not their usual as you will have to buy something you'll never wear again as it's not your thing.

Downgrade the present !

NDmumoftwo · 29/05/2024 22:38

Just play along like it's a great idea and on the day wear a green scarf.

Crabble · 29/05/2024 22:39

I wouldn’t dream of doing this at our wedding, but if you can afford a new dress just go with it. They are not asking you to go topless or anything, and it’s not the worst wedding request I’ve heard. My main issue with it is that you would have to buy a new dress whereas you may have been planning to wear an old one. If finances are an issue, ask if you can wear a plain dress with green accessories or something?

Newnamewhodiss · 29/05/2024 22:45

Could you wear a green pashmina over a different colour dress if it bothers you that much?

Angeldelight50 · 29/05/2024 22:46

Does this mean non family will be asked not to wear green? Bizarre!

RampantIvy · 29/05/2024 23:03

Ponoka7 · 29/05/2024 22:31

It's for the photos. However it's common among some people from countries in Africa. There's a lot if sage about if a strong green isn't your colour. Don't be the odd one out on the family pictures.

A wedding isn't just about the photos.
Demanding that your guests spend money on something in a colour they might only wear once is very unreasonable.

Besides, I'm not bothered about being an accessory in someone else's wedding photos.

Bigcat25 · 29/05/2024 23:14

The was another thread on this topic earlier today, but for all guests. I'd just suck it up in this instance as they're close family.

BasiliskStare · 29/05/2024 23:23

I wouldn't buy a dress you are never going to wear again but as others have said an affordable accessory scarf etc in a shade of green which suits you would be fine.

weareallqueens · 29/05/2024 23:27

Just wear one of these. Bonus points for the beard.

Wedding colour
KnickerlessParsons · 29/05/2024 23:32

They're assuming everyone is going to buy a new outfit for the wedding and not wear something they already have.
Ridiculous.

ToxicChristmas · 29/05/2024 23:32

I think colour scheme weddings look a bit like a corporate day out in uniform, or like the staff at a hotel. I realise there are many shades of a colour, but I always think everyone in one colour or black and white is a bit odd and a bit of a pain in the arse for guests. I like green, so I'd be ok for this one, but had it been pink or red I'd have to go and buy something I didn't like and wouldn't wear again.

Roryhon · 29/05/2024 23:33

Ask them what their budget is and to whom do you need to send the invoice for the green clothes. And if it’s ok to change into something nicer and a better colour after the photos.

BoudiccaOfSuburbia · 29/05/2024 23:39

The wedding photos will look like Robin Hood and his Merry Men.

Oh well.

ToxicChristmas · 29/05/2024 23:46

BoudiccaOfSuburbia · 29/05/2024 23:39

The wedding photos will look like Robin Hood and his Merry Men.

Oh well.

Exactly.

NewName24 · 30/05/2024 00:29

Youcannotbeseriousreally · 29/05/2024 22:27

I’m really sorry you’re related to such ridiculous, entitled wankers!

these kind of people really need to get over themselves

This sums up my thinking too.

For someone I was a bit more distant from, I just wouldn't go, but I can see that is a lot more tricky for your dh's brother. I think I would make some 'nod' towards it (as a pp suggested, adding a green scarf or something), whilst inwardly rolling my eyes.

LadyGAgain · 30/05/2024 00:35

takealettermsjones · 29/05/2024 22:26

I mean, there are lots of nice shades of green. They're not asking you to wear neon!

They're trying to include you, make it clear you're family, make a nice colour palette for photos etc.

Why not just humour them?

Errrrm! No!

DaisyCat33 · 30/05/2024 01:25

Yeah I don't get this. I'm getting married in August and I've basically told everyone to wear whatever they want. I even let my bridesmaids choose their own dresses. I want everyone at my wedding to feel as comfortable and happy as possible, and what they wear matters very little to me!

Never understand people who make such a big deal about how guests at their wedding looks.

MrsSkylerWhite · 30/05/2024 01:29

Dickheads

RogueFemale · 30/05/2024 01:29

Yes I can relate, and I'd be annoyed too, especially GREEN!

GivePeaceAChance · 30/05/2024 02:22

DPotter · 29/05/2024 22:37

Well my Mum and Grans would be mortified about wearing green to a wedding - meant to be unlucky. Someone did explain the superstition behind this but I've forgotten sorry.

I presume the men will wear a green tie with standard suits, so could you wear a dress with green scarf and bag ?

I personally find it very rude to ask someone to wear a particular colour / style especially if its not their usual as you will have to buy something you'll never wear again as it's not your thing.

Downgrade the present !

I’m guessing your mum and gran were Irish
The superstition has a very grim history

In Ireland under British rule the United Irishmen rebelled in 1798. Their colour was green and it became illegal to wear a shamrock in your hat and green. Punishable by hanging.
So as the Irish were banned from wearing green over time it became an understanding that to wear green was unlucky.
(There’s actually a song about it too.)

My mum never dressed us in green, i couldn’t even paint my front door green or she wouldn’t sleep at night and be throwing holy water all over it.