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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Having a second baby

36 replies

Happysallie · 29/05/2024 21:52

I would like another baby. I think it would be good to have a sibling for my current child etc. The baby would be much loved etc etc

But oh my god I cannot be bothered with being pregnant again. It feels like signing up for an endurance event.

I went to 42+5 last time. Almost ten months.

And there won’t even be a novelty factor this time round.

YABNU - pregnancy is boring

YABU - it’s not that bad

OP posts:
Pupsandturtles · 29/05/2024 21:53

Pregnant with second and it’s awful. Awful. But it’s a temporary awful.

Mushroo · 29/05/2024 21:53

I could have written this. I’d love a second baby but absolutely do not want to be pregnant. Mine was even worse because I had gestational diabetes.

Not sure I can face 9 months without carbs…

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 29/05/2024 21:54

Have an elective c section or induction at 39 weeks,

Overthebow · 29/05/2024 21:56

I found pregnancy awful both times but it was much harder second time round as I had my dd to look after too. No lie ins or naps when I wanted, having to run round after a toddler and carry her, and just no time to myself really to rest or prepare.

Original poster
Happysallie · 29/05/2024 21:56

Mushroo · 29/05/2024 21:53

I could have written this. I’d love a second baby but absolutely do not want to be pregnant. Mine was even worse because I had gestational diabetes.

Not sure I can face 9 months without carbs…

There’s just so many things I’m already annoyed about and I’m not even pregnant.

Food stuff, watching other people getting pissed, travel limitations, the weird hip pains, the sleep, all the hoo-hah with work, the wardrobe.

Aahhhh.

OP posts:
MaltipooMama · 29/05/2024 21:57

Totally agree, pregnancy was not the "magical" experience I'd heard about! I was lucky in that I barely got any symptoms and was still wearing most of my non-pregnancy clothes when I went into labour, despite going past 40 weeks and having a 7lb baby! But yes if I could skip the pregnancy and go straight to the lovely baby part I would do it in a heartbeat, I found pregnancy super boring!

SpringShower · 29/05/2024 21:59

Yeah, I was SO over pregnancy with my second. And it was a crap pregnancy with hyperemesis, so I was sick for months. The only upside to the pregnancy was that I had her at 37+5, after also going to 42+5 with my first. And she was healthy and gorgeous, obviously! 😊

WhyamInotvomiting · 29/05/2024 22:01

I loathe pregnancy. I'm the grumpiest pregnant woman ever. I spend the first 24 weeks battling HG and then PGP after that.

I'm 19 weeks with number 3 and this is definitely definitely The Last Time.

Original poster
Happysallie · 29/05/2024 22:01

SpringShower · 29/05/2024 21:59

Yeah, I was SO over pregnancy with my second. And it was a crap pregnancy with hyperemesis, so I was sick for months. The only upside to the pregnancy was that I had her at 37+5, after also going to 42+5 with my first. And she was healthy and gorgeous, obviously! 😊

Those days post 42 weeks are pretty psychologically draining.

I almost cut off most of my family and friends

OP posts:
Original poster
Happysallie · 29/05/2024 22:01

WhyamInotvomiting · 29/05/2024 22:01

I loathe pregnancy. I'm the grumpiest pregnant woman ever. I spend the first 24 weeks battling HG and then PGP after that.

I'm 19 weeks with number 3 and this is definitely definitely The Last Time.

Amazing feeling through once you know you’re done.

Never again will you be obliged to say ‘no’ to an offer of a glass of Chardonnay.

OP posts:
motleymop · 29/05/2024 22:02

I didn't get the hip pain the second time around!
But, god, the lack of booze is awful.
But being pregnant is nothing compared with the newborn phase!!
Anyway, I vote: do it!

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 29/05/2024 22:03

Do it! Having two is brilliant!

I would have a third but my husband doesn't want another one. 😭

DontKnow1988 · 29/05/2024 22:04

I'm pregnant now, 26 weeks, and it's torture....I'd love a second. I can't imagine ever doing this again.

SanaGoggins · 29/05/2024 22:05

I’m so crap at being pregnant that they offered to tie my tube while they were doing my C-section…

Original poster
Happysallie · 29/05/2024 22:06

motleymop · 29/05/2024 22:02

I didn't get the hip pain the second time around!
But, god, the lack of booze is awful.
But being pregnant is nothing compared with the newborn phase!!
Anyway, I vote: do it!

Thing is.

Newborns are v intense.

But - you can give them to someone else.

There is no such option in a pregnancy. ‘Please gestate the foetus for an hour so I can tuck into this Aperol Spritz’.

OP posts:
Whereland · 29/05/2024 22:08

I'm the polar opposite and love pregnancy 😂

MammaTill2Pojkar · 29/05/2024 22:09

I hated being pregnant, 20 weeks of morning sickness each time, feeling tired, achy and miserable plus mild GD at the end with my first and a less than desirable labour/birth and complications during/after.

I did somehow manage to put myself through it a second time, pregnancy was almost as bad as first time round, no GD but added guilt for not being able to play with my eldest much and 'forcing' a sibling on him (he actually wants more but we are done 😅). Second labour was better at least (still no birthing pool damn covid) but we did have him in another country and healthcare was definitely better compared to the first time.

I told myself 'this the last time I ever have to do this' a lot!

MaJoady · 29/05/2024 22:10

16 weeks into my first pregnancy and I've already been decided for weeks that I'm not doing this again (unless I forget significant amounts of it!)

I've not even had a particularly difficult pregnancy. I just hate not feeling like myself and a worse version of myself at that.

teatimeplease · 29/05/2024 22:14

I'm not a fan of being pregnant at all but it bothered me less second time round and absolutely flew! I imagine that's because I've already got a kid I had to look after 😅 but he's older so I didn't have to run around after him or anything.

MammaTill2Pojkar · 29/05/2024 22:15

MaJoady · 29/05/2024 22:10

16 weeks into my first pregnancy and I've already been decided for weeks that I'm not doing this again (unless I forget significant amounts of it!)

I've not even had a particularly difficult pregnancy. I just hate not feeling like myself and a worse version of myself at that.

I remember saying to my husband while pregnant with my first "If I ever say I want another one remind how awful I felt right now"... still had a second 😂

motleymop · 29/05/2024 22:20

Happysallie · 29/05/2024 22:06

Thing is.

Newborns are v intense.

But - you can give them to someone else.

There is no such option in a pregnancy. ‘Please gestate the foetus for an hour so I can tuck into this Aperol Spritz’.

Show quote history

😆

By the way, did we mention the acid reflux and gaviscon taken by the gallon?

StampOnTheGround · 29/05/2024 22:21

Currently about to start trying for number 2 and I completely agree, I absolutely cannot be bothered to be pregnant again!

Givemepickles · 29/05/2024 22:30

Ha I wrote a thread about this 10 months ago. I'm now 37 weeks pregnant and never again!! This is our 2nd and last. I have had a much worse pregnancy compared to the first one and I cannot wait to be done and have my body back, wear nicer clothes (as nice as breastfeeding clothes can be) and eat and drink what I want again! And take ibuprofen when something hurts!

The one and only upside is that this pregnancy has absolutely flown by. Looking after a toddler takes all my mental strength so I've barely thought about poor neglected DC2 until I went on mat leave this month.

Do it and know you'll then be DONE FOREVER!

PollyPeep · 29/05/2024 22:32

The whole pregnancy will fade away once the baby is here (to be replaced with no sleep ever again, obviously), but then that too will fade away when you see your two kids snuggling up together, making up stories and laughing - and crucially allowing you some time to scroll Mumsnet 😆 Having two is really, really lovely. Best of luck!

tillytomtiny · 29/05/2024 22:37

YANBU - hated my second pregnancy, it was much harder than my first pregnancy but that is unsurprising given the fact I was chasing a toddler around and had gestational diabetes (worse the second time round, manageable the first pregnancy)

HOWEVER I wouldn't change a thing now

The small silver lining is that you'll most likely be earlier with a second/third/fourth baby in the future... Statistically they tend to come faster than you first as your body knows what it's doing. Apparently! Although, I do speak from experience as DC2 arrived at 38+2 after a sweep whereas DC1 was 40+5.