Am I being precious or is this actually the right thing to do? (Childcare)

[hangerba]

Dd 19 months. I’ve worked part time 3 days a week up until now. I’ve loved the extra time with her. I’ve got to go up to 4 days a week in July and I’m so sad about it. It means she will only have Wednesday off with me. I’m a lone parent and have no choice really financially (other than using my savings) but to up my hours to four days. I thought I would feel totally fine about it but I feel really sad and wasn’t expecting to feel this way. I’m now worried im doing the wrong thing. I could use more savings to plug the gap for longer but then I start to feel stressed. I’m so confused/sad

It's fine...I really wouldn't use your savings to plug the gap. A four day week sounds perfect to me. Don't catastrophise it. It sounds fine.

@Comedycook its more days in than out of nursery and that’s what’s getting to me most

I wouldn't use savings OP. When they run out you probably still won't feel like you want to go back! So you'd just be delaying the inevitable but spending your savings too.

I do a 4 day week and I really like the balance it gives. I have weeks where I'd love to do 3 days, but other weeks (especially in winter) I love doing 4! Think of the extra money you'll have to do nice things with your DC every Wednesday.

Could you put it off just for a few months maybe till jan ? Then you might feel a bit better

Is the other parent totally absent? Do they provide financially?

I think it's something you have to do then you have to do it. Money is very tight for us and I work 2 days a week. But we do have another income. Your daughter will thrive either way. When they turn 3 she will get more funded hours so maybe you can drop your hours as you'll have less nursery fees?
Have you checked if you're eligible for any funded hours if you are a single parent from aged 2?

I started back at work at 3 days a week after having DD, using up excess leave for the 4th day but had to go to 4 days after a few months. I did prefer 3 days a week but also couldn't have afforded to stay at 3 days. But its fine, you will both get used to it and just value the days you have together.

I wouldn't burn through your savings for this reason, no

Wednesdays and the weekend or don’t you have her on the weekends?

F

I wouldn't look at it as the 'wrong' or 'right' way. You working the extra is simply the most sensible thing to do, in order to have financial security. I'm sure given the choice, many parents wouldn't work but reality forces the hand sometimes.

Definitely do not burn through your savings!

its more days in than out of nursery and that’s what’s getting to me most

she will be fine. Lots of children do 5 days a week in nursery with no issue at all.

Thank you, not sure why it’s upsetting me so much, I was fine with the concept of it when I arranged it with work.

yes totally lone parent and no maintenance etc

Use your savings and have the time.

You can always make more money. You can't make more time.

Financial stability is what is going to benefit your child the most in both the short and long term.

you aren’t abandoning her or moving away. You are leaving her with qualified caregivers who will meet her needs and provide both education and fun while you earn a living.

You’re not being unreasonable to feel this way but you are doing the right thing.

Being more financial stable as a single parent trumped the guilt of working more for me when I was in the same situation.

Look on it as it’s never more than 2 days before you have a day together.
After July use some annual leave to book the Thursday/Friday or Monday/Tuesday off and you’ll have a 5 days with your DD.

Not sure which way round the YANBU/YABU is - I think going back to 4 days a week is the only realistic option and there's no point beating yourself up about it.

Is actually better for the OP and the child to do it now in the light and warmth (hopefully) of summer rather than in the dark and cold of winter after Christmas.

Also the OP will need her savings if something goes wrong including with nursery.

Depends how much of your savings it would use. If you can delay for 12 months would that still leave you with some savings? Or are there economies you could make rather than dip into savings? If there is a way of getting yourself another 12 months or 6 on 3 days without exhausting all your savings I’d do it. But if you can’t, your DD will be just fine. It’s you who will be sad for a while. She will be grand.

You will have 3 whole days with your DC. Many don't get this. Once you make the adjustment you will be fine. Your DC will enjoy going to nursery.

Some kids are in five days a week. You are overthinking this. If you're a single mum with no child maintenance, I'd be very cautious about spending your savings

I'm a lone parent and have been since my daughter was 2. People talk a lot about spending the time with them when they're little but I've found this is actually not necessarily the time either of you get the most out of being together, especially if settled in childcare. I'd save your money now to give yourself the option of dropping down again at some point in the future if you want to e.g. when your child starts school or when they have the long school holidays.