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AIBU?

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Original poster

For thinking this isn't a compliment..

44 replies

favouriteyellowsocks · 29/05/2024 00:03

Overheard my Mum talking to her friend earlier. Friend asked how I am and DM replied, 'Well.. Socks is just Socks isn't she.'
How would you feel ? AIBU to feel really hurt. No backstory

OP posts:
ITNS123 · 29/05/2024 00:09

She could mean...'Socks is as happy-go-lucky as ever', or 'Socks is busy working hard as usual', or 'Socks is killing it as always', or 'Socks is busy helping everyone out like she always does', or 'Socks is busy being parent if the century to her kids', or a million other positive things.

It might be whatever insecurity you have (we all have them), making you jump to the worst possible conclusion.

Depends how your Mother sees you, but that's pretty irrelevant because what's really important is how you view yourself.

AtrociousCircumstance · 29/05/2024 00:10

Depends. I might take it as ‘socks is just socks, she’s a one off, authentic and won’t change who she is’ ?

What was context/tone of voice?

CJ0374 · 29/05/2024 00:10

I've never heard the term and have no idea what it means. Sorry, I'm no help at all, but what do YOU think its means?

stickygotstuck · 29/05/2024 00:13

I'd take that to mean you're your usual self, whatever that may be.

For some reason, to me, it may suggest that you may be a bit quirky. And your mum's friend knows, and that is fine.

I wouldn't think of it as anything negative myself.

CountingCrones · 29/05/2024 00:18

Context is everything.

“Crones is just Crones, isn’t she” from my mum would mean I’m up to my eyeballs with activities with the kids, gardening, volunteering, basically keeping many plates in the air and offering to take in more stuff.

The same from my dad would mean I’m meticulously researching things, making lists and possibly spreadsheets.

My MIL would use it to describe an unjustified optimism when I should expecting the worst. (She likes a bit of doom mongering)

My grandmother-in-law would mean I was being a lazy feckless heretic wastrel sponging off her wonderful grandson and ruining his life.

It’s not a negative thing unless she sees you in a negative light.

OuijaBoard · 29/05/2024 00:32

I'd take the context into consideration. If she said this when something major and good was happening in your life since she last saw the friend - Socks got a big promotion at her job, Socks is nominated for an Academy Award, Socks is expecting a baby - I'd wonder why she didn't say so. If something "bad" happened - Socks lost her job and can't find another one, Socks is getting divorced, Socks has been arrested for murder - I'd think she didn't want her friend to know about it. In this case, I'd maybe ask her why she didn't share the news with the friend.

If nothing much has changed, perhaps "Socks is Socks" is her way of summing it up. Maybe she feels you're always OK no matter what? - which isn't an insult.

Theimpossiblegirl · 29/05/2024 00:39

If I said that about someone I suppose I'd mean she was fine, living her life, getting on with it, no drama. But I wouldn't as it suggests dullness.

Everythingiscalmfornow · 29/05/2024 00:44

Personally I think it sounds quite an affectionate thing to say. That they both know you well and that you are quite an individual and they accept you for who you are.
Doesn't sound hurtful to me.

SkankingWombat · 29/05/2024 02:42

I say this response often about DD2. What I mean is she has been her usual happy kind self, sailing through life, doing her own thing, generally unaffected by the world around her. She is consistent in a good way. Context us everything though and the people I say it to know her personality. If she was known for being miserable, dropping out of everything, regularly spending nights in the local Nick and cocking up everything she touched, it would obviously take on a very different meaning...
Only you can say if your DM views your character traits positively and therefore if it was a compliment or not, but whichever it is, she sees you as reliably so.

Zanatdy · 29/05/2024 02:44

It sounds quite negative to me, but context is everything

bridgetreilly · 29/05/2024 02:54

What made you feel hurt by this?

MyKidsAreTooNoisy · 29/05/2024 02:58

To be be blunt, it sounds like you might be being a bit over-sensitive, and perhaps that’s how you often appear, hence the comment.

Fraaahnces · 29/05/2024 03:01

Tone of voice is impossible to convey… That would have more impact on the meaning than the words she used.

JMSA · 29/05/2024 03:36

What is your relationship with her like?

I would take this to mean that someone is a bit difficult but you love them and can't change them.

OmuraWhale · 29/05/2024 05:14

To me this would just mean "no change since last time you asked". No big change in job / relationship etc to report. There might be a certain level of implied criticism if the person saying it would like there to be a change (eg if you've been single for a while and your mum wants you to meet someone and settle down).

Underestimated4 · 31/05/2024 07:50

It sounds like a compliment meaning - you’re unproblematic and just get on with things.

why don’t you ask her?

DottyLottieLou · 31/05/2024 08:21

Just ask (in a light hearted way)

Girasoli · 31/05/2024 08:29

I'd take it to mean nothing big had happened to you recebtly...eg no job changes/illness/house moves etc. Just plodding along basically.

Otherwise your mum would have launched into the story of your new job/bad flu/new house etc.

Happyddays · 31/05/2024 08:40

Context is important but it sounds like you took it in the pejorative.

rosaleetree · 31/05/2024 08:43

Could be interpreted either way really - negative or positive and depends on context. However, I wouldn't over think this- it could just be a way of saying you are your usual self and all is fine. I dont think immediately jumping to a negative interpretation is helpful as it could be completely innocent.

Dont over think or ruminate, it really can be unhealthy and drags you into a negative spiral.

Myblindsaredown · 31/05/2024 08:45

I’m guessing there is a back story, either you have mental health issues in terms of sensitivity and your reactions or you don’t get on with your mother so looking for issues, or you’re not doing so well right now and took it as an allude to that? What’s the back story?

Thepeopleversuswork · 31/05/2024 08:46

I think it’s quite negative too.

It suggests there’s something very humdrum and average about you. Which I wouldn’t take as a compliment.

My dear departed mum always used to try to find something interesting to say about me when others asked. The fact yours can’t or won’t suggests either a level of disappointment in you or that your mum is just a bit of a negative Nelly.

Sorry…

pizzaHeart · 31/05/2024 08:54

I would take it as there is no changes in your life as you live it in a certain way for quite a while and don’t show any signs to change anything.
It does sounds a bit negative for me, like she doesn’t approve your way of life entirely and wouldn’t mind seeing some changes. It sounds like something you say with a sigh.
It also sounds for me as a clear indication that your mum’ve discussed you a lot with at least this friend. Were you annoyed by this?

Saz12 · 31/05/2024 08:56

Realistically, it almost certainly means:

She's fine! Or
Stop trying to rake up gossip, or
You know her, born lucky, or
As good as circumstances allow, or
Any one of a million things ir a combination of them.

So, not a compliment, but also not an insult.

KrisAkabusi · 31/05/2024 08:58

It could mean anything. It depends on how you are. It could mean "Socks is boring as fuck" or it could mean "Socks has had the worst luck in the world but is going through it with her usual cheer and can-do attitude". There is really no way of telling without knowing you.