For thinking this isn't a compliment..

[favouriteyellowsocks]

Overheard my Mum talking to her friend earlier. Friend asked how I am and DM replied, 'Well.. Socks is just Socks isn't she.'
How would you feel ? AIBU to feel really hurt. No backstory

It Depends on what was said before your mum said Socks is just Socks.

I’d take it to mean that your mum talks to her friend about you all the time and shares what is going on in your life so she is basically saying “socks is ok, same as ever” which is neither a compliment or an insult but just a statement about you.

Honestly, I’d take it mean she is proud of you & cares about you and so likes to talk to the friend about you.

It depends on entirely on what the commonly held/ accepted by everyone view of you is!
If you are well known to be busy/lazy/chaotic/ too helpful for your own good/always on the go/self absorbed or whatever then that is what will have been meant by the comment- that you are still that thing, as ever! Whether it’s a compliment or not depends on whether it’s a positive or negative attribute and whether it’s accurate!

I can definitely imagine my DM saying this about me and it would mean "she's a bit quirky and chaotic" whereas in reality I've been as boring as fuck, steady, wife and mum running my house and holding down a part time job! Only you know the context of how she views you! I'd just internally roll my eyes and ignore it

"What other people think of you is none of your business ". Sometimes we are not meant to overhear conversations.

I read this and my take on this is your mother saying you’re solid, it’s proud but not braggy.
i can absolutely imagine saying this about my oldest who is a rock solid person.

It doesn't sound like a compliment to me. I'd be hurt

But I think worth asking what she meant

Maybe your mum disn't want to engage her nosey friend in telling her everything about you and was shutting the conversation down??? Maybe she wanted to end the conversation for another reason, I wouldnt take it personally.

Frankly, if my mother paid me a compliment in front of another living being, I would know she’d been replaced by an alien.

When I won a major international postgrad scholarship to an elite university with local press coverage, she was mortified in case the neighbours thought we were getting above ourselves, and I heard her telling one of them I was ‘just too lazy to get a job’, and was going to stay a student forever.

it would imply they already have context and understanding between them and fully understanding and this was a basic summary

Nah You are who you are. Just go on being who you are.
x

To be completely honest OP - you’ve gone straight to assuming an ambiguous comment is negative and you’re hurt by it. Do you think you’re maybe a bit difficult and pessimistic as a person, and that’s what your mum means?

I think it would just mean that you’re chugging along, just you doing you.

do you suck? Are you projecting this (ie over a certain age and living with mom still and not pulling your weight?)
do you have recent accomplishments for her to bring up?
does your moms friends life/kids suck and she’s trying not to rub in how awesome you are?

is there a common complaint that is just you being you? Ie not picking up your socks?

Well it depends on the situation that’s going on with socks.

If my dad said it, it’s would mean ‘she is up to her eyeballs in work and the teenagers and the dogs nothing much changes there’

It reads negative to me. It's like saying, socks is socks but what can we do?

Is she often negative?

Yes I would take it like this.
I have adult DC’s and a friend’ who asks about them. But it never feels like genuine interest or even politeness; more like information gathering so they can brag about how much better their DC’s are doing.
Obviously their children got better A levels, went to a better university, got marvellous jobs and are now with the most wonderful and successful partners in the world.
It’s a polite way of not giving out any information.

Mum probably took an easy route out. Maybe in the past her friend has made too much of a bit of knowledge about you (good or bad) and mum can't be bothered to furnish her with more knowledge than she needs to know if that makes sense.

I'd say something very similar about one of mine. He's a happy, sunny laid back soul who enjoys life and takes it as it comes. I'd smile and say "P is being P, as always!" And people would know what I meant.

Is your mum controlling?
I'd maybe interpret it as "socks is following her own path and I've given up trying to influence her because it doesn't work" which is similar to some of the others who read into it that you're a bit different or unique or quirky (or at least your mum thinks so).
I don't think it's unusual for mums to feel this way right? Lots of mums would like their kids to do things "their way" and are a little peeved when they don't 😁 that may be a bad thing if your mum is some kind of vision of perfection in life but could also be great if she's a little stuck in her ways/ sexist etc and you're breaking the family mold in a good way 😁
Or just a totally normal reflection of, how life is now, for socks, is different from how life was when your mum was your age and she doesn't quite get it.