Was this snobbery? Online dating

[TheQuickGoldSheep]

I'm single and using the Hinge app. I'm in Liverpool and was talking to a man who worked as a teacher.
He told me he'd previously worked in two schools in 'very rough' areas of the city.
I asked which areas they were and he told me them, one of them has a poor reputation as it's deprived, the other not as much so, it's just an average area where a friend of mine lives.

I joked that I lived 2 minutes' walk from the first area in another inner-city area. People occasionally refer to my area as 'rough', but it's absolutely fine, it's largely a student population as it's very close to the unis, I've had zero issues.

He completely ignored my 'joke' and then proceeded to tell me where he lived, saying 'fortunately, it's not too bad here'.

If anyone's in Liverpool, he was referring to Kenny and Garston, I live in Edge Hill and he lives in Old Swan.

He randomly ghosted me anyway so 😅 I've been through Old Swan and it was just like anywhere else tbh.

It's true some areas are more deprived or run-down, Kenny doesn't have a great rep, but I guess the whole, X and X are rough but my area is good, sounded a little snobby.
Maybe he's put off by where I live?

I doubt it is where you live, and I don’t see how it’s snobby, if it’s run down or studenty it is what it is. Don’t be so sensitive,

I’m not sure I get your joke. You were just saying you live next to the area.

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Yeah, maybe it wasn't a joke as such but anyway he ignored that part of my message so mustn't have been very impressed!

I really am not sure he wasn’t interested due to where you live op.

I don't think it was ignoring your joke, it was just carrying on with the conversation. You said where you lived and then he responded by telling you where he lived.

Yeah, you are being a bit strange.
He was carrying on the conversation, about where you both live.

I don't know the particular areas you are talking about, but the fact that some areas of all cities are rougher than others, some are okay, some are a bit nicer, and some are really to aspire to.
People say the part of my City I live in is a bit rough. Factually, it is. It is a deprived area. Also factually, it is quite a big area, and there are some really nice parts too. It isn't where I would aim for if my budget were much larger than it is. I'm not being snobby about my area, I'm being factual.

How was it a joke? I don’t know the city at all. Was it accurate? You do live close by? How is that a joke?

I think most people on dating apps are talking to more than one person at a time so if I get ghosted I assume that there was somebody he liked better than me. 🤷‍♀️

So this was just a chat on an app, you’ve never met? And you have different ideas of what constitutes ‘rough’/‘deprived’?

And why's the cheeky sod making out Old Swan is Beverley Hills!

Wow small world @TheQuickGoldSheep I live in Edge Hill too!

Doesn't sound too snobby tbh, more matter of fact. Some places are simply a bit rougher than others. He wasn't exactly making out he lived in the Taj Mahal either, just said his area was "not too bad". I think you've taken something personally that's not personal.

He's probably ghosted because the conversation just wasn't gelling, as evidenced by your post here!

I personally think old swan is a bit rough and garston isn’t actually too bad- edge hill neither 😅

How does “it’s not too bad “ transflate to Beverly Hills?

Well you didn’t click with each other if you feel he isn’t responding in the way that you’d want regardless of whatever it is. So block and move on. It’s a numbers game. (I met dh online 14 years ago).

He sounds a bit patronising.

Was he originally from Liverpool because if not that’s why he might think of Garsten as a bit rough, Kenny fair enough like that is run down. I’m in Norris green and we’ve always been considered a rough area and when I first moved there 20 years ago it was but it’s definitely not like that now. Either way it’s probably a good thing he ghosted you, it shows he doesn’t give a shit and was probably just looking for a hook up.

I agree that you're being over sensitive about this.

I moved from a very nice middle class area to a distinctly rougher area. Not drive by shooting rough but definitely drugs and mattresses on the pavement rough!

I don't take it personally if other people also make this observation. Its not a reflection on me. The road i live on is also "not that bad". Quite nice in fact! My neighbours are all lovely. Doesn't change the fact its a rough area!

I'd also agree that he probably just didn't feel the conversation was gelling, was talking to someone he liked more and, tbh, he was probably just no longer motivated to continue exchanging messages and it juet fizzled out.

And even if he were being a bit snobby, does it really matter? He's not obliged to carry on chatting with someone if he doesn't want to.

Either way it’s probably a good thing he ghosted you, it shows he doesn’t give a shit and was probably just looking for a hook up.

This makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.

People who are just after hook ups are generally less discerning. Not more!

And, of course he doesn't give a shit. The OP was someone he'd exchanged a handful of messages with. That's all.

Blimey. The ability of people on here to twist the most innocuous thing into something sinister is incredible at times.

Shouldn’t really matter where you live OP.

My worst dates have been with teachers. A deputy head was one of the worst. Extremely left politically, couldn’t understand when I said I was going to spoil my ballot, joked I must love getting fined when I told him when I was taking my kids on holiday then when I told them they went private I could feel hostility coming off him waves, kept making jokes about much we both fancied each other 🙃Tried to get in my car after the date for a ‘chat’, when I said no lunged at me for a kiss. Didn’t even respond when he text for a second date and I said no thanks ( and I was very polite )

I give teachers a really wide birth

It doesn't do the run down areas any good if we deny that they are getting more and more deprived. Housing is poor in the area, which is why so much building has taken place. HMOs in Kensington are a real issue, even if, if not especially, if they are student lets. I wouldn't describe Kensington as rough, more having social issues. The area is continually fighting for funding. Old Swan is still seen as desirable, that's a fact. From a teaching pov it isn't snobbery, there's areas in which no primary school is doing well. I only moved into an area of Liverpool because my DD's could stay at their high schools, otherwise I'd have had to pay more. You could cut your housing costs by moving to Kensington, why don't you?

He didn't say "my area is good" though, did he? You're overthinking it and i doubt he cares what area you're in. Getting ghosted is a normal part of online dating sadly.

Because they're all the same? 🙄 Much of that has nothing to do with his job.

I wouldn't worry about it, it doesn't sound like the conversation was very scintillating or that you were clicking so it's probably for the best! Onwards and upwards(dating wise not area wise!!)

Was he a Scouser himself? It's just Edge Hill is the most convenient location ever. It even has an M&S for goodness sake. Garston is just average, maybe not the most salubrious area but certainly not a no go. I'm from Orrell Park myself.