Why don't people reply to party invitations?

[Hotttchoc]

Why don't people RSVP even if you specifically say let me know by XX or RSVP by XX?

It's more awkward if you don't give a date but surely people realise you need to know a couple of weeks before (especially if invitation was sent 6-8 weeks before)

Most people seem to be considerate and respond in a timely manner then you have the odd few which makes it hard to plan fully.

Tell me about it. I'm waiting for so many RSVPs for me wedding - making me feel a bit sad although I know that's just me being precious.

People are assholes

Because a large number of people are inconsiderate, self-absorbed, want to keep their options open rather than committing to things, and are all round a bit shit.

You’ll get people saying that people are busy, etc. It takes literally 30 seconds, if that, to RSVP by text.

If you genuinely can’t commit but might be able to make it, it takes the same amount of time to say that to the host via text. Time isn’t an excuse or an explanation.

Maybe they have silenced the class watsap group because they are fed up with being bombarded with messages about lost cardigans/costs/teacher leaving presents/class nights out ..

Maybe they have just forgot to reply 👀 because they are so overwhelmed with life and even though the party sounds amazing - they just forgot

I teach horse riding & use RSVP as a way to remember the markers in a dressage arena. Unfortunately that no longer works as most people have never heard of it & no clue what it means.

Maybe you need to explain ' please reply by Xth May letting me know if you are able to attend as I need to know numbers. If you don't confirm I will assume you are unable to attend'

Because they're working and have multiple kids and also elderly parents and haven't got time to even pee on their own and rsvp ing to a kids party isn't high on the priority list.

After a while I did them at village halls or at home and invited shedloads of people.

Mine are older now so out of the school birthday party stage...

But part of the issue is people sending invitations 6-8 weeks before. At that length of time we don't know work shifts, family commitments etc. Then they get lost.

Send them 3 weeks before at most!

I don’t know but as soon as I’m given a party invite for the kids, I check my phone calendar there and then and reply straight away.

I think this too.

Based on PP, Do people send birthday party invitations for school age kids weeks in advance? Someone has said 3, someone has said 6-8 weeks.

Laziness.

If I don’t reply, it means I don't want to come. I know this is U. I have caught this from DH who never wants to go anywhere but is too shy to say so therefore just doesn't reply, I appreciate that this is also U.

For the DCs e.g. a party invitation I do reply straightaway as I don't want them to be jeopardised by my rudeness.

I prefer to reply in person if possible so if I know I'm going to see the inviter within a few days (for something non-urgent), I will tell them then.

I hate WhatsApp groups and do not post on them unless, again, something urgent and I have something genuinely important to say to the whole group. I also hate being added to a WhatsApp group with strangers who then have number so it's U but I would be less speedy to reply had the invitation come by that means.

So all in all a long winded way of saying that no reply probably means not coming.

Maybe they need to grow up and start behaving like adults.

Lol, enjoying all the comments from people who are clearly the ones that don't reply.

We are all busy, we all have stuff on, nobody is so busy they don't have 30 seconds to send a text.

My DC1 is in reception so this is the first time I've had a party and invited kids that I don't know/parents I don't know and out of 8 invites only half have responded so far. Invites went out 1.5weeks ago and I need to let the venue know final numbers by the end of the week. I don't have the parents numbers as I'm not in the class WhatsApp group, but I'm going to have to get them off other parents in the next few days if they don't respond by then. It's so rude, I'm busy too, the last thing I need is to be chasing up grown adults for a text message.

We always rsvp within a couple of days of receiving invites.

RSVP for what? A wedding? Then obviously rude.

A random bbq or bday parties? Fuck off for sending invites 8 weeks in advance. Who knows how I'll feel 8 weekends from now. I'm not committing to your silly little bbq 2 months in advance so I can then get your rage when I'm having a week from hell and I can’t make it anymore. So I often will say "maybe". If that's not good enough, just take it as a no.

The trend of booking random socials 6-8 weeks in advance now is ridiculous.

This. I bet they wouldn’t miss that work deadline or date to pay your holiday deposit by!
People weren’t so rude years ago. You took an invitation home and parents replied within a week. Smartphones have a lot to answer for…

Because a large number of people are inconsiderate, self-absorbed, want to keep their options open rather than committing to things, and are all round a bit shit.

It's this one.

People can be very self absorbed sometimes, and put it to one side to deal with later. It's like when children's clubs need paying for some parents leave it weeks after they've started back. Surely before they go back to school you run through what you need for the term? I.e p.e kit still fits, lunches paid for, clubs paid for? Maybe it's just me being over organised? 🤷🏼‍♀️. In regards to invites as soon as I receive it I check the calendar and RSVP straight away otherwise I will just forget and it literally takes seconds to do. I really don't like sitting on life admin if I can help it

Tell me about it. I'm waiting for so many RSVPs for me wedding - making me feel a bit sad although I know that's just me being precious.

Are you past the RSVP date? @FknOmniShambles

People are assholes

ha - agreed @Pipecleanerrevival

Agreed @FrogandTrumpet one person even messaged saying they're hoping to come but need to sort childcare etc and will let me know them did let me know - perfect!

Maybe they have silenced the class watsap group because they are fed up with being bombarded with messages about lost cardigans/costs/teacher leaving presents/class nights out

@Hugosmaid It's not in a group but yes I assume they are just busy or have forgotten to reply

@PuttingDownRoots @Greenmayleaves I sent them around 8 weeks before which may be longer than some but even then some people already had other commitments. If you need to know your work rota or something surely you just stick the invitation on the fridge or reply when you get it? I asked for replies 2 weeks before.

I'd prefer more notice than less - by 3 weeks before I'd have made plans for a weekend!

@Jeannne92 Why not just make up an excuse instead of not replying? I even replied to an invitation myself recently saying sorry we can't make it and didn't even give a reason as I just didn't want to go but didn't want to lie!

@Chocolateorange22 I think I'm similar to you.

So if people don't respond to you charge or assume they're not coming? What if it is a family member who usually replies?

I'd assume then that you are sending invitations too far in advance and that's why the responses are so slow coming in or forgotten.

I sent invites out for DS party on Friday, his party is Monday, so invites were 10 days in advance. I have 15 yes, 2 maybes and only 2 haven't responded.

Anyone that doesn't respond, I always assume they aren't coming.

I sent my daughters invite out about 2’monfhs in advance as I got the fear that someone else might have a party the same day and no one would come!! Having paid large amounts of money for it I really didn’t want that to happen. I only had one not respond at all (and no phone number to chase) and she did bloody turn up 🤦‍♀️ then there were about 8 others who I chased via WhatsApp and they then responded / can you not do this OP?

Id rather long in advance tbh than last minute but I like to plan

@Greenmayleaves I think that's not enough notice and most people wouldn't be able to come. We have family all over so they need more than 1-2 weeks' notice and for our kids' parties at soft play type venues you need to confirm numbers 1-2 weeks before so surely they need at least 2 weeks before that to consider and respond

@modgepodge I am a planner too. To be honest most people have replied. Only 1 out of 20 of our friends has not replied but about 5 out of 20 family members have not. Certain ones always say they'll let us know but I have to chase and them one has simply not replied.

It's definitely not the end of the world but I feel slightly awkward chasing and think people should just let you know (but understand people are busy or simply forget)

Lack of manners.

I'm inclined to agree @HandaFae

While I'm sure some people have a lot on, I'm sure some people wait to see if they get a better offer, which is probably fine to a degree but there comes a point where you need to make a decision.

Barring work rotas and the like most people can plan a couple of weeks ahead.

I'm sure some people have a lot on, I'm sure some people wait to see if they get a better offer,

Thanks for agreeing* *about being plain rude.

I was also brought up with good manners that included committing quickly so that the host could plan and NEVER being able to change my mind about a better offer. My DC’s are expected to do the same.