Strict uniform policy-skirts but no shorts

[Sleepdeprived42long]

DS moving up to high school next year. Received details of the school’s uniform policy and word from parents with older kids is that it is strictly enforced.

Uniform is trousers or skirts, shirt with collar buttoned to top and tie visible at all times, blazer worn at all times outside class.

My DS lives in shorts to school. He hates wearing trousers-finds them too hot all year round!

AIBU to think that it seems unfair that girls can wear skirts and trousers but realistically most boys will be restricted to trousers? Or am I missing an obvious reason why skirts are acceptable and shorts aren’t?

My DS has sensory issues with clothing and noises (but no ASD diagnosis as no other symptoms) and is already hating the no shorts, the button to neck requirement of the shirt and the tie!

School say this is policy and children not in uniform will be sent home to change or given change from clothes school have as spare.

To be clear-this is a state school.

Those are the rules. Sometimes life’s not fair. You get more choice when you’re older and leave school but for now you have to suck it up.

I work in a school - staff are only allowed to wear shorts if they are teaching PE that day.
My SIL works in a bank, customer facing. They’re not allowed shorts - male or female.

Personally I’d hate that, far too casual. I work in a school and many of the pupils aren’t tracksuits wearers either. Non uniform days are very much jeans and minuscule tops !
I’ll admit to being a fan of uniform, saves thinking about what to wear in the morning. Our school allows shorts but o don’t recollect one boy ever wearing them out of Primary- it’s a through school. I agree it should be an option though. Although I do wish the school would crack down on the ridiculously short skirts, if I can see the dark bit at the top of your tights it’s too short, you should see them going up the stairs !

What you are doing is teaching your DS that there will be many occasions in his life where his wishes will not be catered for. We need to be helping our children develop resilience in order to support their mental well-being.

At my children’s school both boys and girls can wear skirts - the uniform doesn’t specify boys or girls uniform, just the option of trousers or skirts for all pupils.

I’m surprised by your surprise about this issue, tbh!

Same, it's not and never has been a thing at secondary schools (nor most workplaces). There may be a few exceptions now but it's not really an inclusion issue to make a thing about in the grand scheme. If your DS liked wearing hats that wouldn't mean he'd get to wear one. It's a minor compromise that he'll adapt to if it's not made a big thing of. All kids are square pegs in some way or other. Liking to wear shorts is not really up there with all the many other things schools are managing to be inclusive about.

Does he just hate trousers, or is there a sensory issue?
Lots of children dislike the uniform. But have to get on with it.

Dds school allows shorts in summer but never seen anyone in them, except when the temperature is over 30.

That’s still a uniform though!
My DGD lives abroad and her school don’t have uniforms. She points out that the bullying that takes place over what people are wearing is pretty awful. At the moment, the fashion fad for girls is cropped t shirts and leggings - she loathes them, prefers baggy tops and jeans, so gets comments from others about being a boy because she dresses like one, or being too fat to wear crop tops. it’s pretty awful.

At ds2’s secondary they were allowed to wear PE kit in hot spells, but only after a general announcement had gone out (by school comms). If there was no announcement they had to wear full uniform which included blazer and jumper. No shorts for boys. Not that my ds would have worn them.

The PE kit solution worked well, although it was a bit awkward because we only had 1 set, so if it needed washing it had to be washed and dried in the evening after school. It was all quick-drying stuff though.

On a separate note how have you got to the point of being sent uniform policy before realising what a completely idiotic strict uniform policy most schools have?!

I agree it's stupid.

Polo and v neck sweatshirt would be fine with shorts, trousers or skirt.

There are a few odd sensible schools. Even when my now 29yo ds was at secondary school the summer term was no tie, blazer and knee length tailored shorts allowed.

This was a policy at our local. A group of boys decided together to wear skirts until the policy was changed

Will add lots of males and females choose shorts here. But we are south coast England and not Scotland so I imagine it's much hotter!

My DS's secondary school changed their uniform policy to allow shorts in the summer. Result..... no kids wearing shorts!

Our school has been saying they are introducing shorts since my 22yo started. No sign yet. We’ve had some very hot summers and I don’t understand why, even with a strict uniform policy, they can’t send an email saying they can wear grey, school uniform style, shorts.
About a million years ago only little boys wore shorts unless on an actual beach or sports field but older boys and men have been wearing shorts for many decades, unless in school and aged 11-16. It’s just weird. I work in the nhs and shorts have become pretty normal with a tunic top. Didn’t see it at all 5 years ago but they are all over now. Porters and physios are the biggest shorts fans.

Schools are in the dark ages with uniform in my opinion

What on earth is wrong with;

Branded zip through hoodie
Plain joggers
Plain polo
Smart trainers

Because they will look like massive toddlers, or prisoners. Who wants to wear a hood all day? Maybe for primary, but a cardie instead of a hoodie, and trainers aren’t always the most practical in wet weather and I’d rather see socks and sandals than joggers with leather shoes. If you are going to have a uniform, which I’m broadly in favour of, but not welded to, there isn’t actually anything wrong with the completely normal clothes they consist of atm. People wear shirts and ties and skirts and trousers and a jumper and jacket up and down the country day after day. Most people don’t want to be out in public in the clothes they wear to watch tv in before they go to bed.

I'm slightly surprised that you're surprised because even if this is your first child into secondary school, you must have SEEN secondary-aged children around, and not seen any of them in shorts?

Anyway, I think you're on a hiding to nothing trying to push this, and a lot of children hate being made to stand out with non-standard uniform. Could you find the softest loosest trousers that he could get away with, and see if that helps.

I think my DS will be a lifelong shorts wearer. However, even if his school did introduce shorts, he wouldn't be seen dead in them if he had to wear them with school shoes! Trainers, perhaps, but they're strictly not allowed.

and mine is autistic and wears shorts everyday even though the cold winter!! Luckily he’s at an autistim school so they are more flexible and don’t mind

Look up the isca boys protest in Exeter. Send him in a skirt. Also, in my school there are lots of uniform exceptions for sensory issues.

If you’re in Scotland I would keep an eye out for the policy promised here - https://www.gov.scot/policies/schools/school-uniforms/#:~:text=Local%20councils%20and%20individual%20schools,wear%20school%20uniform%20in%20Scotland.
it may help if it comes out on time, although with the general election it may not get published on time…

Secondary SENDCo here. We allow shorts. LOADS of kids wear them. This would be a non issue in my school. Reasonable adjustments are part of the SEND Code of Practice (2015).

I was about to make the same point. Ds' old headteacher used to say it was an elaborate game of bluff on the school's part.

Having said that, I suspect you may have bigger battles to fight on your ds' behalf over the years at secondary, so I'd maybe concentrate on helping your ds to get used to wearing trousers so that he doesn't stand out.

Likewise in the comp where I work. Many of the Sixth Form boys (non - uniform) wear shorts whatever the weather so no one laughs at the younger students who wear them as a reasonable adjustment for ND/ sensory issues, skin conditions and having nose-bleeds when the weather is very hot. During Covid, anyone who had PE could wear their PE kit to school and shorts were very popular with both sexes, even in winter.

Really? Even the PE teachers?

Our ds both wore shorts all the way through primary and disliked having to wear long trousers in secondary.

The youngest rote directly to the head in his first year of school who promised that the issue would be reconsidered - unfortunately he left soon after with no changes being made. He then got himself on the school council and every year has raised the issue of shorts not being allowed.

This summer, navy, tailored shorts are allowed to be worn with their usual polo shirts. It’s taken a while (he’s now in year 11!) but he’s done it!

My DS has gone from wearing shorts in the snow in Primary, to refusing to own school shorts in Senior School. A few boys wear shorts, but only after one boy with sensory issues started wearing them.