Not to have given up my seat on plane

[Rainbowgoldover]

Just wondering ....

I flew home last night from holiday with a friend.

BA flights , flight out was dreadful, cramped seats , allocated at check in so we had last row next to the toilets ...

On the way back we learnt our lesson so paid to book seats, I booked an aisle seat, friend booked a window seat, flight about 70 per cent full.

The person in the middle seat , asked me if I would move so she could have the aisle seat.

I refused and said no I booked aisle and don't want to sit in middle seat. She said but I want to be near my family in the row opposite. I still politely refued to move.

Cue lots of aggro, she finally got the flight attendants to move her accusing me and my friend of talking over her , we absolutely were not, both had headphones on watching netflix.

If you really want to sit somewhere why can't you pay 23.99 and pre reserve a seat, don't make others feel bad for not giving up theirs ?

I always pay for allocated seats so we are sat together and have always been firmly in the no swap if I’ve paid camp. But I was recently flying to Spain with DD12, our flight was overbooked and we were swapped to the next flight with no option to prebook seats. A lady very kindly offered to swap with me so we could both sit together and I was really grateful for her kindness. Next time I’d probably give someone the benefit of the doubt that they aren’t just CFs chancing the kindness of strangers but that maybe something had happened that meant they couldn’t book seats together.

Next time pay to book your seat in advance!!!

Well done OP. My DH always insisted on booking and paying for seats even whhe the kids were young and would be unlikely to be separated from them.
We have just booked a holiday and were told when booking that as the children are teenagers now, we could be all sitting separately which they would hate so have booked seats together.
People just don't want to pay the money and think people will just move to suit them. I certainly wouldn't be moving either.

Yanbu to not swap but it's odd to book with someone else and not sit together. Two aisle seats would make more sense to avoid having someone between you. She probably assumed you'd prefer to sit together.

You were asked, you declined and explained why. No need for the other person's response.

Paying to book your seat in my opinion should not be permitted, it should be free, but whilst it is a payment, then do it.

Many years ago, when I was younger, thinner, prettier and far less assertive, a friend and I were flying off somewhere. We had the window and middle seat. The last people boarding were a couple who were deep in the throes of touchy feely lurve . He sat in our aisle seat. She had the aisle seat in front. Except that she didn’t sit in her seat except for take off and landing. The rest of the time she sat on his knee.

To my eternal shame we didn’t say anything. not a word. Nor did the flight attendants. Or anyone else. In retrospect we should have. Big time.

The only positive thing was that it was a relatively short flight, I dread to think what would have happened on a long haul when the cabin lights were dimmed……….

Where do you get that from? OP had already had the experience of travelling out on a full plane, she had no reason to think that the flight back would be any less full so she and friend must have known the strong likelihood was that the middle seat would be taken.

I was in the same position and refused. The man tried to guilt me by saying he needed to look after his mother who was in the row across the aisle. He involved the air hostess who asked if I’d consider moving. I still said no. He and his mother then had conversations throughout the flight about how entitled I was. 😂

The option of booking and sitting next to someone she was travelling with was available to the moany woman. She chose to take chances on 1) the seat she wanted being free or 2) the person in the seat she wanted being prepared to move. She lost, twice.

That's the worst. I know it's "allowed" but that's really poor traveling etiquette!

They weren't bothered about having someone sitting between them; if they had been, one of them would have moved. It wasn't up to anyone else to assume what they'd want and get stroppy if they were wrong about it.

They wanted to sit at the window and aisle, so they paid for those seats. Even if that is a weird and unusual thing to do (it's not), it's entirely their right and everyone else on the plane could also pay for the seat they want if it matters to them.

Lots of people do it because social media reels have told them nobody will be given the seat in between so they will have more space

I did swap twice on a recent flight both times for parents with young children. I felt like not doing it 2nd time I was asked (child was about 12) but the Mum looked very stressed out so I swapped. If we had pre-booked I may have taken a different attitude.

YWNBU

Loosely related anecdote... I was flying with my Mum. We'd booked 2 aisle seats next to each other. A woman and a boy of about 12 got on, the boy on the middle seat next to my Mum and his mother about 4 rows in front also on a middle seat. My Mum very politely asked if the mother would like to swap so they could sit together. The boy reacted with palpable panic at the idea of having his mother next to him. His mother confirmed that they both preferred to travel separately and in silence 😂

It’s really not.

I like an aisle seat so I can get up and out of my seat easily. I’d say half the people I know go for an aisle seat for the same reasons.

My partner and kids and the other half of people I know like a window seat for the views.

When I’ve flown with just my partner or a friend who likes the window seat, I book an aisle seat, they book a window seat in the same row if possible. We wouldn’t talk loads if there was a person between us.

unless there was an unusual circumstance I wouldn't switch.
We were once on a flight that was cancelled about 1 hour before the flight was supposed to take off. we took the first available flight that had enough seats, but we were the last on which meant that me, DH, DD4 and DD2 had 4 seperate seats. DD2 and I were in the middle of a large family group of at least 9 adults, so I asked if they would switch so that my 2 year old daughter would not be sitting on her own. They refused. why they wanted to sit with a toddler on her own was beyond me! the flight attendants did ask them to move, as they knew our situation, but the looks I got the whole flight... It was the only time I have ever cried in front of strangers!!

forgot to add, we always book seats together usually to avoid any situations like this!

I agree with this.

You clearly booked it hoping you'll have extra space if the flight isn't fully booked which didn't materialise. I think it's very awkward to sit in the middle between two people who know each other and knowing the person's family is nearby but separated. I'd have moved, personally.

I guess I would also book an aisle and window if I was paying . But I tried to book a single seat on a theatre site and because there it left one empty seat , it wouldn't let me .
If you want a special seat on a plane, pay . I never bother as I don't care enough . I would change but not if I end up in worse seat. Short haul flights I don't even mind middle .

YANBU I’ve just had to spend 5 x the seat booking amount for family x 2 journeys and yes it’s bloody expensive but that’s what you have to do because I would be mortified if we weren’t sitting together and we would have to ask people to move which is bullshit. People should factor it in to the cost of holiday when they have children.

I book an aisle and a window because the middle seat is the worst, being crammed in on both sides and less space.

I don't expect the middle seat to be free because I know that planes are balanced for the weight and certain seats may need to be filled regardless.

(Which is why they don't actually want everyone booking seats to be reserving them unless the plane is full, and also why you can't just go and sit anywhere you like).

I prefer aisle but as book in a 3 for dh myself and mini blondes we have window middle aisle

And dh and I swap aisle and middle and dd gets window as likes that

We are abroad at the moment and had people on our flight a week ago not booking and moaning not sitting together

And was asked if aisle could move so they could sit both aisles. Obv we said no

If you call up a theatre they will usually waive it and let you leave 1 seat on its own

It’s only awkward if the two friends are talking across you. The OP and her friend weren’t doing that. They were sitting with headphones in, separately watching Netflix. How is that any more awkward than sitting between two people who don’t know each other who are both sitting there watching Netflix with headphones on?

YANBU. You paid for the seat, it's your seat. I pay extra to select seats every time I fly. I consider it an additional holiday expense that I budget for.