Work party disaster who was at fault

[Heredakh]

A company is reaching an important milestone in its history and planning an event. Small company of about 50 people.

Event is dinner then entertainment and drinks/ dancing at a hired venue. Ahead of the event, colleagues are told what to expect, that some clients will be there too and to therefore enjoy but behave accordingly etc (it was implied not to get blind drunk but not explicitly said)

Colleague A is relatively new to the business and still in probation but doing good job. They are told about the event like everyone else.

On the night the free booze is flowing like it often is at these kind of events and it becomes apparent colleague A is enjoying the booze a lot but as this is their first time drinking in front of other colleagues, people aren't aware when to step in or that it could lead to big issues (some people can drink loads with no issue, some can't etc) plus everyone else is drinking too, although a bit more moderately.

As night wears on (when some people had already headed home) colleague A reveals themselves as quite a rude and obnoxious drunk, they offend a long standing client, an older colleague then vomit on senior leaders shoes.

Not sure how it played out beyond that but a few days later back at work there's an email that colleague A is no longer in the business.

I've been shocked by the whole thing and wondering who was more at fault? Should colleague A have curbed the drinking on the night or should company not have had so much free alcohol on offer? Its a recipe for disaster if you don't know when to stop drinking but equally moderate drinkers are entitled to some free drinks to enjoy themselves surely?

YABU - the company's free booze is to blame, its a recipe for disaster that they should have seen coming

YANBU - colleague A should have acted accordingly and known when to stop at a work event

Haven’t read the full thread so apologies if this has already been said but I think

both at fault
not a sacking offence
not sure why the shoes of a ‘senior leader’ (gasps and drops into a deep curtesy) are any more important than the shoes of anyone else there.

There is no “fault” here. Colleague A was sacked for inappropriate behaviour at the works do. Actions and poor choices have consequences.

There are also quite a few non-drinkers in tech. I just drink the expensive mocktails instead.

Drinking is a choice, even when it's provided free. There should have been people keeping an eye on each it's always been that way in my work places, but maybe new people you don't really know yet, people aren't sure how they are anyway.

But ultimately, it's Colleage A's fault, unless someone was spiking his/her drinks.

I’m sure if she said she was an alcoholic she’d be supported,

I really can’t grasp it. Someone gets drunk and there is always someone who says are they an alkie then, people get drunk, don’t know how to behave, don’t know their limits, are just arseh0les in general. It doesn’t mean they are an alkie.

For some reason this has annoyed Me. There is no workers right to get on the lash at customer facing client events, offend your colleagues and offend a client. Personal responsibility is a thing.

No one said they were more important.

I was once at a party which wasn’t at work but was organised by the landlord and in a courtyard at our offices. Yes I got drunk but was on wine which was free flowing and not much food there. Landlord paid for and organised cab home for me (I could’ve got home myself). I was also being encouraged to drink by colleagues “have another one, go on”. Turned out a few of these colleagues got drunk after work after this event in the future on Bacardi breezers ffs!

Yes, I drunk but I didn’t vomit anywhere or embarrass myself apart from being a bit drunk. But I didn’t beat myself up over it just avoided wine and ensured I’d eaten before drinking next time.

The manager above your colleague had a duty of care to that young probationer: my feeling is that a probationer should not be client facing in a social situation until their probation is completed satisfactorily. Since the job requires socialisation around alcohol there should be some staff-only events to ascertain a probationer’s tolerance for alcohol and ability to behave well around it. Fault with the management.

PS to those who expect a young adult to know their own alcohol tolerance levels, give the 18-20 year old’s a chance: they don’t suddenly know their alcohol tolerances aged 18 - that’s the age that they’re allowed to try it! We have to give them a few years (maybe to age 22?) to get a handle on their own metabolism.

Definitely management’s fault for not taking their own responsibility appropriately and seriously enough.

I mean essentially you're saying (if you're saying it's works fault) that external factors should govern our behaviour. I am not responsible for how much I drink/eat or how I behave because they provided free alcohol?? Adults should have an internal locus of control. They're not toddlers where we say "gee John why did you give our 2 year old the whole bag of marshmallows?

How far do you want this to stretch?

My colleague is a diabetic, we had a huge end of year function and the dessert was chocolate mousse. She ate 5 helpings and her blood sugar rocketed. Surely the work shouldn't have had so much dessert available??

I am on a diet and there was so much free food at my friends 21st, I completely overate and threw up. Aibu to think there should have been less food??

And this could go even further .
I kissed a girl at a bar, but she was dancing so provocatively. Aibu to say she shouldn't have danced like that? It's her fault right. If she didn't want people to kiss her she shouldn't have xyz'ed.

A willing drunk, just because it’s free dosnt mean you have to drink it. And I’m saying this as someone whose been in As shoes many times. I’ve actually done worse. At some point I made the conscious decision to not let it happen again. Though if A has a drinking problem, like I did when younger it’s not that easy to say enough.

For someone who has a drinking problem they should still take responsibility. I worked for an amazing company that free booze was part of the culture, I deliberately missed the last 3 years Christmas parties when I was there to avoid drinking too much. The year before I stopped I asked my manager would he mind sharing a taxi when he was leaving, he never stayed long at these events. He knew me well enough to know I didn’t want to get drunk. I also excused myself from some team building events. I had to come clean with my GM admitting something embassing I’d done and that I don’t know my limits. She was amazing about it.

A is mainly responsible for het own actions.
However, I recently had a drunk colleague that was about to drive home in his own car. It felt like I had to prevent this, because if i didn’t I couldn’t live with myself if he would cause an accident and hurt innocent people.

Maybe if you are in a bean counter type of role, if you are say an account manager or in sales or PR drinking with clients is as important as billing them !!!

What I don’t understand is are you classed as working at this party? If you are then it’s colleagues fault for not watching what they were drinking. Or is it a social event outside of working hours that just happens to be with people you work with? Like a Christmas party for example? If the later I think the company is at fault for sacking colleague just for being drunk in their own time.

Perisnal responsibility. Obnoxious drinkers know they are obnoxious drinkers - plenty of people will have told them. People who can't handle their drink will also be aware and should not drink at all.

I worked at a company where 2 people were fired following awful drunken behaviour at a work event with free booze (separate occasions). Both deserved being fired. I personally would have called the police for one of the incidents (physical violence against another person). After the second incident, not only did free booze stop but there was zero drinking apart from wine at dinner. 2 ppl ruined it for a company of 17,000 people.

Both!
While colleague A is an adult and should’ve paced themself and stopped before being loud and gobby, I also do think work do’s where booze is free is a recipe for disaster!

The person drinking, although I am losing count on the threads where there is every which way you can find a way for personal responsibility to be ignored

It's a shame that no one managed to do colleague A a solid and step in discreetly before she was sick on the boss's shoes.

Seems a bit harsh if Colleague A was fired. Obviously it's mortifying and unprofessional, but if acting like a twat when drunk were automatically a sackable offence then a LOT of city professionals would be on Jobseekers Allowance.

Also depends what she did to offend the client... obviously if she was aggressive or (say) racist, then that would be really serious. But if just being a bit brash/annoying whilst drunk, then I think that's the risk you take when you put free-flowing booze on. Definitely still Colleague A's fault, but the company probably should have understood there was a risk someone might overdo it. (The shoe puking is an internal matter so I don't think is so relevant.)

Maybe Colleague A was so embarrassed that she resigned

Throwing up in a seniors' shoes while drunk can be a good omen. The person who did this to our senior at a company party ended up becoming a world leader.

But seriously alcohol is a drug, and we all know that people can have issues with it and addictions and and they won't be able to resist.

So, while it is colleague A's responsibility not to get blindingly drunk and make an arse out of themselves, the company could also promote responsible drinking.

But seriously alcohol is a drug, and we all know that people can have issues with it and addictions and and they won't be able to resist.
So, while it is colleague A's responsibility not to get blindingly drunk and make an arse out of themselves, the company could also promote responsible drinking.

Grinand that is true, but as you say in your first para, some people won’t be able to resist drink, therefore promoting responsible drinking won’t stop them.

Ppl become obnoxious when drunk because they're drunk, and lose all reasoning. Your drunken self doesn't represent who you really are. Poor guy.

Don’t agree. Have you not heard the saying “in vino veritas”? If a poster said her DH beat her up while drunk, would you argue he wasn’t being his real self?

If it’s a professional situation, why the free booze? I think this mixing alcohol with work culture is awful. A real throw back and not very evolved. Of course people will act differently under the influence. The whole point of alcohol is it inhibits the function of our frontal cortex. Whilst it’s the individuals choice I am not sure they should loose their job based on behaviour whilst not at work.

Grown adult gets pissed on free alcohol. Acts like a dick. Barfs on the managers shoes (🤣🤣)
Not their fault, no no always someone's else's responsibility innit.
Honestly Your Honour, they held me down and poured neat vodka down my throat

Having embarrassed myself terribly at numerous work parties throughout my youth I feel so so sorry for her. A massive telling off might have been fairer than a firing, given she is young and this is her first offence. I am now happily sober but have sympathy for people who can’t handle a free bar because although I wasn’t addicted to alcohol when I wasn’t drinking, once I started on a night out, I just couldn’t control it. Friends used to say they saw a switch and when I was in a blackout, anything could happen. I don’t subscribe to in vino veritas at all. I am a nice person and very conscientious, but alcohol changed me. Poor girl, she must be mortified.

I've been at parties like this, I've drank but not excess. You should know your limits but also I think colleagues even not knowing them well should have stepped in and told them to slow down.

Free booze, work event, employers liable