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Original poster

Broken sofa after play date

74 replies

Anxiousmuch · 25/05/2024 19:19

Friend came for a play date with her 5 and 7 yo children
Her 5 year old was jumping / forward flipping off the arm of the sofa onto the seat
I asked him clearly to stop because I didn't want him to get hurt and don't let my own kids jump on the sofa. I made suggestions for for other things he could do or play
My friend laughed it off and said he was always jumping on their sofa or his bed but did also ask him to stop

I went into the kitchen to prep tea and snacks and heard a huge crack
He'd jumped off the arm again but this time had gone through the bottom of the sofa

He wasn't hurt and my friend apologised but ultimately, despite me asking him not to jump, I've been left with a broken sofa which is now unusable

For context we have one large L shaped sofa which was originally new from DFS six years ago and cost us just over £1000 We have no comfortable seating in the lounge

I don't know what to do now.
We're pretty skint and could do without replacing a sofa but my friend hasn't offered us any money. She's a single mum but works and isn't 'poor'

Would it be unreasonable to expect her to pay a contribution or should I just pay for a fix or replacement myself. I don't know if it's worth getting a 6 year old sofa fixed

OP posts:
coldcallerbaiter · 25/05/2024 19:54

Check YouTube out, I managed to fix an old sofa in the den, not my main one and not a good one, but it was an experiment and it worked, got some wood, a nail gun and some old cushions on the top, this was under the fabric though, if the fabric is actually ripped too, you’ll want it to look nice, or stitch it and keep a throw over it.

I doubt she would pay. She will say she was invited and it was an accident. Tbh, what would she have said if her child hit his head or broke his arm jumping in it?

Heronwatcher · 25/05/2024 19:55

Is it possible to claim on your home insurance? If so I’d do that.

If not then I’d get a decent second hand one and ask for a contribution from her, I think the chances of her paying for a like for like replacement are probably zero so better to for something realistic.

MargaretThursday · 25/05/2024 20:00

A friend sat through our sofa (at least 2nd hand when we got it 20 years ago, I think 40-50 years old probably) We got a big piece of plywood and put it under the cushions where it did an excellent job of keeping the sofa usable for the next 5 years.
I bought another on a whim when I went past the British heart foundation furniture shop and fell in love with one, otherwise we still would have our old one.
We gave the piece of plywood for a friend in return for helping get the new sofa in and the old one to the tip.

But I do have a double futon if you live anywhere near me that's going free.

FredsRoses · 25/05/2024 20:08

This really is a horrible situation to find yourself in, isn't it? I had something similar happen when my DD had friends round to play, while me and their Mum had a coffee. They asked if they could play in her room, and at age 5, 6 and 8, I thought they'd be OK. Everything is fine for a while, and then my DD came down crying and told me that her friend had been jumping on her bed and broken it! I went up to have a look, and found that the girl, (who was a bit of a chubster), had completely broken the frame at the side of her bed. I was furious, and it was a very long time before any kids other than my own were allowed to play upstairs again. My daughter meanwhile had to sleep on her mattress on the floor, until we could buy a new bed. The Mother didn't say a word, just changed the subject, and shortly after decided it was time to go. I knew I'd be wasting my time asking for a contribution to a bed repair, or replacement, as nothing had been offered at the time, so I didn't invite them round again, but it still rankles to this day that she didn't at least apologise for what the kid had done. Clearly jumping on the beds was allowed in their house.

Cas112 · 25/05/2024 20:29

She pays

Wantitalltogoaway · 25/05/2024 22:08

LordSnot · 25/05/2024 19:33

She's not going to pay or she would already have offered. The real question is if you want to keep the friendship or not.

This.

If you value the friendship then I think you’ll have to foot the bill yourself as she hasn’t offered.

But she absolutely should offer.

Thepartnersdesk · 25/05/2024 22:21

I'd have it upside down and cut the lining off the bottom to at least see if you can see the frame. We have stuffed ours with extra foam when it started to sag and a lot of the lower frame is accessible.

If so you may be able to get a bracket in to support it.

Otherwise I'd be trying to get one from local selling pages.

Your friend should pay something but if it's not forthcoming there's not a lot you can do. Really you have to decide if it's worth the friendship.

I wouldn't be inviting them round again regardless.

Runsyd · 25/05/2024 22:23

LordSnot · 25/05/2024 19:33

She's not going to pay or she would already have offered. The real question is if you want to keep the friendship or not.

The real question is why would she keep the friendship under those circumstances?

Yousay55 · 25/05/2024 22:26

It seems crazy that a 6 year is able to break a sofa!
Id try and get it fixed and definitely not have the boy over again, but I wouldn’t ask the parent for the money.

Bluesuitredtie · 25/05/2024 22:28

I recently had a T bar replaced on my sofa by a local furniture restorer, it was very reasonable.

get a quote from someone local and ask her to pay for it.

Ozanj · 25/05/2024 22:29

I think it’s ridiculous that a 5/6 year old can break a sofa like this & if you blamed my child for it I’d wonder if you were having me on. It’s more likely general wear and tear. Most sofas develop cracks / faults after 5 years.

ACynicalDad · 25/05/2024 22:29

Get a quote and ask her how she’d like to pay.

TeenLifeMum · 25/05/2024 22:34

Ozanj · 25/05/2024 22:29

I think it’s ridiculous that a 5/6 year old can break a sofa like this & if you blamed my child for it I’d wonder if you were having me on. It’s more likely general wear and tear. Most sofas develop cracks / faults after 5 years.

What?! Our last sofa lasted 17 years. It was rather tatty looking by the end but not cracked or faulty!

Peachy2005 · 25/05/2024 22:35

Sorry for your sofa trouble.

We’ve had our last 2 sofas secondhand from Hospice Warehouse, probably approx £140 each and they delivered for free. The first was a cream leather 3+1+1 and the current one is a nice tan leather 3+1 with 3 electric recliners. We previously overpaid for a piece of L-shaped rubbish from DFS but never again. I would rather support a charity plus the quality has been far superior than the badly-built stuff you pay mega-bucks for.

QOD · 25/05/2024 22:35

Ugh I had this when Dd was about 6
we were at her friends and the friends mum DID allow that kind of shenanigans.
i told my Dd to stop as its not something she was allowed to do at home. The mum egged her on.
later, they jumped on the friends bed unbeknownst to us at the time and broke some slats.
the mum made sure to tell me. I think I just blankly stared at her and said well that’s why I don’t allow jumping on the furniture at home …

WetBandits · 25/05/2024 22:39

Ozanj · 25/05/2024 22:29

I think it’s ridiculous that a 5/6 year old can break a sofa like this & if you blamed my child for it I’d wonder if you were having me on. It’s more likely general wear and tear. Most sofas develop cracks / faults after 5 years.

The mother was sitting right there and would have heard the sofa crack when her kid jumped on it…

gamerchick · 25/05/2024 22:43

Message your friend. Tell her you're going to get a quote for a repair to your settee and you'll pass it on to her with your bank details.

If you don't, she'll ignore the sensory issues her kid has and this sort of thing will happen again. She needs to be held accountable.

LordSnot · 25/05/2024 22:43

Runsyd · 25/05/2024 22:23

The real question is why would she keep the friendship under those circumstances?

Show quote history

I've learned not to assume after reading hundreds of MN threads where people have "friends" they don't actually like and who treat them like shit. Don't ask me to explain it because I can't.

FloorMop · 25/05/2024 22:48

British Heart foundation shops are great for good quality second hand furniture. Often they are better quality.
(Mine is 30 years old and still going strong. I had it recovered rather than replace it for that reason).
I would be annoyed in your position too. Sofas are for sitting on, not jumping.

Thoughtful2355 · 25/05/2024 23:03

I have 2 kids that are 5. I would expect both of them to not be jumping on another person's sofa. I would have atleast offered some amount to fix it and would have been mortified

ToxicChristmas · 25/05/2024 23:08

I'd be fuming. Realistically, she won't pay though. She didn't offer there and then, she's not going to now.

ciaopizza · 26/05/2024 00:15

Is she aware of the extent of the damage. I'd sent her some pictures with a message saying, I'll let you know if it can be repaired and the cost.

cherish123 · 26/05/2024 00:34

She should never have allowed her child to.do this. It's so disrespectful and entitled. So many people can't say no. I'd do as others suggested- say you are getting repair quote and you'll send bank details over.

I don't see why you should have to buy a second hand sofa. Most people wouldn't want one.

TizerorFizz · 26/05/2024 04:28

It really depends what is broken regarding repair. If the "bed" under the cushion is ply, just get a sheet of ply and cover if with a think cotton and put it oner the broken section. No one will know as it's hidden by the cushion.

If the section under the cushions is upholstered, it's a bigger issue. Or if the frame as broken. To get into the frame is a bigger job but not impossible. So what exactly is wrong? It could be a relatively cheap fix.

TizerorFizz · 26/05/2024 04:29

I would be livid by the way. Why cannot parents control dc? Poor behaviour from the mum too.