To ask if NCT is worth it?

[Crispchops]

Expecting our first baby in autumn. Is it worth paying for an NCT course? I was talking to a colleague who said they found it to be cliquey and essentially just a way of buying friends. She also said that in her group, by demographic mums were all 35+. This isn’t a problem for me at all but wondering if it will mean that we are judged for being considerably younger than the others there. (I’m 22, turning 23 and DH just turned 25).

If not NCT, would you recommend another antenatal course instead?

If you just want the content, it will be covered in the free NHS courses (mine was at the maternity unit I gave birth in) or in the average pregnancy book. The sole USP of the NCT is meeting other local people having babies around the same time and having a readymade support group. Sometimes that works, sometimes it doesn’t — it’s pure chance. In my case, my midwife was very insistent I join as she thought I was likely to be isolated (all family in another country, and not many local friends, none with children), but my group just didn’t like one another very much, and drifted apart pretty much immediately. I wouldn’t do it again, no. I made better friends just attending the free NCT coffee mornings (you don’t need to have joined for those).

I was exactly the same age as you when I was expecting/ had DS.
I didn't do any antenatal course but I had decided I wanted an ELCS so didn't really see much point. I did go to loads of baby/ toddler groups afterwards though and met people there (and DS could play when he was a bit older).
This was years ago though (DS now 23) so maybe there were more opportunities for that then? I did feel very young compared to the other mums but it still worked ok.

For me, the social aspect was completely worth it. We became good friends throughout the early weeks and months of motherhood - meeting up weekly until we went back to work. They were an invaluable, non-judgmental support network.

Contrary to other people’s experiences, our course leader was very open and informative about all different births and about formula feeding if breastfeeding isn’t the right option for a mum and I think that helped us all feel very comfortable about what choices we made.

God no. NCT is the start of setting ridiculous expectations for motherhood - it’s like a cult of no drug natural childbirth, breast feeding is the only way nonsense. I ended up so brainwashed about breast feeding at all costs my DS nearly ended up in NICU. Birth Plans?! My arse. Partner massage - as if! Socialising with a bunch of golfing nobheads - no, thank-you.

There are sometimes "young parents" groups - you may find that easier. My sil found nct pretty judgemental as she was 26

Yes, that probably soured me on the NCT, too — a teacher dropped out, so ours had been airlifted in from somewhere else and was an old-school hippy of the not-so-nice type, who was big into the horrors of the ‘cascade of intervention’ and made it very clear that natural was best. Out of the eight of us, I think five, including me, had highly medicalised births (and one almost died of HELLP syndrome), and she was so visibly disappointed in us at the gathering after all the babies had arrived, everyone got pissed off. We were all very grateful for obstetric medicine that meant we and our babies were all alive and well, and our teacher is going around asking if we’d had natural births so she can write it down as a ‘success’. Grr.

Im fairly sure this was just a particularly unfortunate experience, though.

NCT's 'teaching' is vile. I hate it.

BUT I did meet a brilliantly supportive and close group of women having babies at the same time there, and the benefit of that friendship group in the early years was absolutely invaluable.

This sums up my experience completely.

Thank you so much, it makes me feel better about it!

We were 24 when we had DC1 and knew nobody with babies/young children.

We were broke so didn't do NCT and we got along fine. My hospital at the time did two free antenatal classes and a free breastfeeding workshop so we went to all of those and then I just read books/NHS website etc and asked my midwife/health visitor things.

We did NCT and I made a really nice group of friends. We met up every week when we were all off and now meet up twice a month (once with babies and once for a mums night). Our age range was 25, 31, 37 and 38 and I wouldn't say it's noticeable at all. All my friends also did NCT and have nice friend groups from it, they are also 30/31.

The class itself was also very set on a 'natural birth' but we all ended up having interventions so I'd take that advice with a pinch of salt.

I found it quite hard to make friends via the local baby groups, everybody seemed to go in existing friend/ nct groups but maybe you'll have more luck. Perhaps do NCT as at best you'll make a nice baby group and at worst you'll be a bit out of pocket but have learnt a lot about birth/ post birth. Good luck!

Didn't stay in touch with anyone or use any of the advice given at the sessions. In fact I think it made me feel like I never wanted to meet up with other mums again! It was painful!

Hi there I work as a midwife on the labour ward. My main gripe that most NCT discourage the use of morphine when often it's the most sensible drug in early labour. It usually provides decent pain relief and some sleep for 2-3 hours. Then the woman is often ready for the trials of labour again. If she chooses to go for epidural later on she is usually more advanced in labour which helps. The effects on baby is usually minimal and easily rectified. I honestly don't know what NCT have against morphine, I have been meaning to write to them and educate them on the step-wide approach to pain management. Step wise management is what our Consultant Anaesthetist talks during pain relief classes- it means start with the lowest dose of any pain killer and work your way up if necessary and appropriate. Morphine issue is the reason I would definitely not recommend NCT classes. I would recommend Positive Birth Book any day to any pregnant woman (available from Amazon for a tenner)

We didn’t have an NCT group in my area. I don’t think I missed out, I’ve made a really good group of mum friends just going to classes. I recommend the ones in churches - they usually have volunteers to help you integrate and start conversations

Our NCT was run by a retired midwife so none of the natural-hippy indoctrination. We had a non judgemental groups and have made some really good friends (4 years later).

Our age range went from 25 to 39 for mothers and it’s never been noticeable at all. It’s a bit of luck who you get but I wouldn’t have been without it!

I didn't do it with either of mine but looking back I wish I had done with my first purely for the social aspect. I have friends who have made really good friends from their NCT and even 10 and 6 years down the line they are still really close friends.

I didn't do NCT. The closest friends that I made when I'd had DD were through a Buggy Mums fitness group. Pre-baby I did a lot of sports, so this group helped me to find people I had more in common with than just having a child of the same age.

These comments above don’t reflect my experience of NCT at all; our course leader was very factual but non judgemental, and I felt really informed which I think helped make my interventions less scary! There was one activity we did which showed us how many people are in the room for a c-section and those who had sections said it comforting to know that was normal as there’s so many. We also go to baby classes together and WhatsApp all the time. I’d really recommend it, I had a rough pregnancy and thought I would struggle post-partum but it has been a saving grace for me.

Obviously I know that doesn't happen to everyone in every NCT class but I do wish I'd tried. I was 21 with my first and the only one of my group of friends who had a child, needless to say that whole group of friends disappeared 3 months after baby was born.

It seemed to be one of only a very few ways to learn about feeding, changing, parenting. For some reason there were still not enough classes and we were booked in to classes quite near to the due date. In the event our DC was very prem. So, the hospital staff and health visitors covered that parenting stuff. Being a member did get me to meet people in a local group. We did our own informal weekly meets. That was helpful. I suspect I would have met most of them at local baby groups at the community centre etc. So, in a way it wasn’t worth it. The prem baby group wasn’t run by them but did find out about it in their magazine

Mine was from me (20) up to 40 (and my mum being early 50's which pushed up the demographic!)

I came out of it with just one close friend who I now work with, our kids by chance are in the same class, her and her husband (and his parents) came to my wedding even.
Additionally she introduced me in the early days to her friend who also had a baby, I am very close with her now and speak a few times a week on the phone and meet in person once a week if we can.

It was good for those early morning awake stints, messaging and so forth and they were great when I had a couple of life crises but other than that, you can learn it all from the internet/NHS provision/advice/mumsnet.

The social aspect of it is like anything. You could love the people or really not be able to stand them! Then you’ve parted with a load of money for not a lot..

The info as someone else says is covered in free things.

I did NCT course. I didn't like the content. Kept referring to all the pregnant women in the room as birthing people. Might have been best for the facilitator to read the room first. Also irritated that the facilitator decided to bring her political views to the course when women were at a vulnerable time in their lives. Distracts from the purpose.

We had no NHS classes locally so we did NCT. Teacher was ace and balanced, group was friendly and I've just got back from holiday with some of them.... the kids are 17!

It is basically about being allocated a group of "nice" friends for your maternity leave. If you were 35 I would say do it, but at 22 I'm not sure it would work as well, and other than the social aspect it doesn't offer much.

We did bumps and babies which was cheaper than NCT and felt well balanced between ‘natural’ birth and other options.

Ive found the WhatsApp group invaluable. We meet up weekly and it’s been so nice having that network on mat leave.

I think age demographic will just depend on your area. I think the youngest mum in mine is 30, but I don’t think there would be an issue being younger