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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Teachers don’t want Thank You Teacher gifts

467 replies

Graveltone · 24/05/2024 15:27

Even though schools have 5-8 weeks of term left, the shops have various TYT gifts such as mugs, coasters, keyrings etc. Teachers do not want this crap! Charity shops near me have numerous TYT mugs and crap on sale!

My friend is a teacher and parents have been told not to give gifts. Teachers don’t want 30 mugs, boxes of chocolate, alcohol (that is embarrassing if teacher doesn’t drink for various reasons) etc. Nor want flowers - don’t have enough vases at home to house 30 bunches of flowers.

Friend’s school accepts cards and hm gifts.

Think before you spend your money on your DC’s teachers.

OP posts:
Toxicinlawz · 26/05/2024 12:47

There was a group of us like minded mums in the class and we use to all put in a fiver and get the kids to ask what shops the teacher liked and then would get a voucher. Over the years it grew and practically every parent in the class wanted in too 🤣

Crampsfan60 · 26/05/2024 13:08

I noticed how it's usually only junior school teachers people seem determined to buy gifts for. Fair enough I suppose. They have to put up with your DC all day!

Mouse78013 · 26/05/2024 13:31

Once worked in a private school. A note went around from the bursar saying that we could only accept gifts under the value of £80 otherwise the teacher would have to declare it.

One day I went into the staffroom and there was a massive box containing a Fortnum
and Mason’s hamper addressed to me. Somebody had written £79.99 in board marker on it.

Mouse78013 · 26/05/2024 13:32

Ps I was very grateful!

bananaramaterry · 26/05/2024 13:33

InchesOnTheDoorFrame · 24/05/2024 15:32

Don’t tell people that, I love the alcohol. 😂

I don't blame you!

willWillSmithsmith · 26/05/2024 14:09

My kids never bought the teachers anything, it’s just marketing crap from card manufacturers and tat shops. (Although if I were a teacher I wouldn’t necessarily discourage the chocolate themed gifts 😁).

Kjpt140v · 26/05/2024 14:27

I did vote YANBU, then change to, you are being unreasonable. Why? Because your tone stinks, and you have no right to tell parents what to do.

wellington77 · 26/05/2024 14:36

Graveltone · 26/05/2024 06:28

Those thank you teacher mugs are the worst! Do parents think teachers don’t have any mugs at home?

The reason the school my friend teaches at has asked not to give gifts like mugs as one year another teacher got 26 mugs from 31 pupils.

Gift cards are accepted. Teachers swap them round with other teachers if they don’t shop at shop(s) or website(s)

You’re not even teacher, you really have no business having an opinion on what we like or not

MonsteraAddict · 26/05/2024 15:51

I have never taken a gift for granted and love them all! I use mugs as plant pots - I can never too many! I love the chocolate, wine and little trinkets. I had a silver camel with a little saddle that lifts up, a beautiful teal and rose trinket box and vases and coasters. All beautiful or delicious. The children are always so pleased to see you happy and they get as much from giving as we do receiving the gifts. They are never sneered at or thrown away.

ShadesofPoachedSmoke · 26/05/2024 16:12

You're not even a teacher. You know one teacher as a friend. One school. Whoop de fucking do.

Why do you think you have any right at ALL to pontificate that "teachers" don't want gifts.

We bloody love the free wine and chocolates in this house!!

FrenchFries2024 · 26/05/2024 16:31

I do! I want ALL the presents. 🤣😉
Secondary teacher of 20 years. We don’t get many presents and I understand why as each child has about 12 teachers. To be fair though, I wouldn’t want 30 mugs. Over the years, I have had a book, a nice pen, box of chocs, wine. Tends to be one - five presents each year and very much appreciated.

But anything heartfelt is amazing and a token of gratitude which helps me keep going, tbh- a thank you at the end of the year. a card with a nice message or an email to my line manager is even better than a box of chocs!

NB- I wouldn’t want to put pressure on parents who may be short of money in a cost of living crisis.

I have bought a little present for each of my Y13 students after their last exam as I think they appreciate it. I have also bought glue sticks/ stationery for the classroom over the years and give students’ nut free cereal bars when they tell me they have had no breakfast, so I try to think about my students as much as I can.

Croft60 · 26/05/2024 18:01

I am a primary school teacher and really like a home made gift or card...

bananaramaterry · 26/05/2024 18:38

ShadesofPoachedSmoke · 26/05/2024 16:12

You're not even a teacher. You know one teacher as a friend. One school. Whoop de fucking do.

Why do you think you have any right at ALL to pontificate that "teachers" don't want gifts.

We bloody love the free wine and chocolates in this house!!

This!

hobbcat · 26/05/2024 21:42

I teach 11-18 at a state school. I get the odd card and sometimes a box of chocs. I don’t expect anything - just want the kids to get the results they deserve. That’s enough for me!

TheMoth · 26/05/2024 23:53

hobbcat · 26/05/2024 21:42

I teach 11-18 at a state school. I get the odd card and sometimes a box of chocs. I don’t expect anything - just want the kids to get the results they deserve. That’s enough for me!

It's the cards from the quiet ones that get me. You think they've just been getting on with it; tolerating your subject, then you get an outpouring of their actual thoughts. Considering my job, I'm utterly shit at writing messages in cards, so I very much appreciate the efforts teenagers go to.

TheMoth · 26/05/2024 23:57

And yes, email the head all the good things and name me😁😄

And perhaps a box of black pens, that I can distribute. I have definitely given out more (cake, presents for forms, prizes, sweets on p5 Friday breakfasts) than I've received. But that's the job.

AmelieTaylor · 27/05/2024 00:06

MonsteraMama · 24/05/2024 15:44

So because you have two friends who are teachers you think you can make a post speaking for all teachers? Bold.

@MonsteraMama

exactly!!

@Graveltone why do you think it's your place to speak on behalf of teachers??

jessyjo2 · 27/05/2024 00:09

Personally I dont think it's necessary to give teachers presents. They get paid just like everyone else. Do u give gifts to every person in education board that maybe works every but as hard. Ie Auditors, cleaners, transport department staff etc.
However if they don't want gifts put it out to parents that any money donated would be put to buying X for the school.

GOTBrienne · 27/05/2024 00:24

As someone who worked for the council for 20 years I never understood why teachers were allowed to accept gifts anyway.
We could only accept items that could be ‘used in our job’ like pens and calendars. Chocolates or wine had to be declared and sent to the majors charity.

MissingMoominMamma · 27/05/2024 00:36

GOTBrienne · 27/05/2024 00:24

As someone who worked for the council for 20 years I never understood why teachers were allowed to accept gifts anyway.
We could only accept items that could be ‘used in our job’ like pens and calendars. Chocolates or wine had to be declared and sent to the majors charity.

I’ve got Ship Called Dignity as an earworm now…

Lotsalotsagiggles · 27/05/2024 00:44

Parents ofvwhole class give a tenner each

We get teacher and TA £150 vouchers each for xmas and end of term

Sorted quick easy and no money wasted as i see it

They deserve a lot, 6 year old are hard-work!!

wrped · 27/05/2024 00:45

why should teachers get presents? i dont expect any in my profession

just adding additional costs to already exorbitant costs for childrens education

LetTheCardsFallWhereTheyMay · 27/05/2024 01:10

Such an odd post.
I've been given everything from vouchers to mugs to books to poems written by a child to homemade jam, a recording of a pupil playing the recorder, drawings, flowers, every kind of supermarket chocolate imaginable, framed photos of pupils, alcohol, whole outfits, ornaments, gifts for my own children; all incredibly thoughtful and diverse, and given in the spirit of appreciation and thoughtful acknowledgement. I adore my pupils and their families and am very touched whenever I am presented with a gift, irrespective of what it is.

muckymayhem · 27/05/2024 01:20

I don't give anything I wouldn't want myself. Lucky teachers 😉

OriginalUsername2 · 27/05/2024 01:30

GOTBrienne · 27/05/2024 00:24

As someone who worked for the council for 20 years I never understood why teachers were allowed to accept gifts anyway.
We could only accept items that could be ‘used in our job’ like pens and calendars. Chocolates or wine had to be declared and sent to the majors charity.

If you work for the Council, maybe gifts could be seen as bribes to get certain things moving?

Teachers have an impact on our children. If it’s a good one, they deserve a thanks!

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