Is this extremely petty of my children's school?

[PumpkinSly]

I went to the school office today to tell them I would need to collect my two children at 15.05 rather than 15.15 because my ds has an opticians appointment. They asked for proof of the appointment which I don't have. They said that without it, it would go down as an unauthorized absence. I haven't been given an appointment card, or been sent a text or email to confirm the appointment. I went home and rang the opticians who said that the confirmation email has to come from customer services, and they aren't able to do it from the branch. So either we are late to the appointment or, if I pick my children up 10 minutes before the end of the school day, they will get an unauthorised absence for the whole afternoon session.

Aibu to think that this is an extreme level of pettiness from my children's school over them missing 10 minutes at the end of the school day? It's the end of term and I would bet good money that there won't be a full day of teaching and that they will be watching films and playing games etc. This response from the school is bizarre to me, it's 10 minutes at the end of the day!

This! Is the most practical solution

Parents can be fined for taking children on holiday during term time. I know of some parents who choose to pay the fine, because even with the cost of the fine, it would still make a holiday cheaper.

This would be classed as unauthorised but if parents are open and honest with the school about it then the school is able to record an explanation for the absence.

You can apply to the Head to authorise the absence (and so avoid the fine) but it's at the Head's discretion. I'm surprised to read of people's experiences of absences not being authorised on account of things like funerals - in my experience of working in schools, such requests have always been given. But then I can't speak for every school.

In terms of other consequences of unauthorised absences, it really depends on the context and individual circumstances.

So, in the case of the OP, where it clearly is a genuine medical appointment, the absence might be initially marked as unauthorised as the school were initially unaware and planned absences should be authorised by the Head. The receptionist legally cannot authorise it, so if a parent or carer turns up to collect they legally have to mark it as unauthorised. I would expect that it would then be changed to authorised once the circumstances are confirmed.

In cases where there are persistent unexplained absences, the school has a legal obligation to follow this up. In theory, there should be no unauthorised absences on the registers by the end of the day. Or if there are, the school has been in contact with parents/ carers and it is clear that the child is safe and not missing.

It may be that a child is school refusing and the reasons for this are many and varied, and very challenging for parents who are doing there very best to get them into school. If anyone is in this situation, please do contact the pastoral/ welfare teams at the school so that they can support you. The cases of school refusal have increased significantly since the pandemic. No parent should be made to feel like they are at fault. My advice is to keep an open line of communication.

As you can imagine, keeping on top of attendance in schools is quite a mammoth task for the admin teams in schools. The colleagues I work with do an amazing job - there are 1500 students at the school. If I haven't saved my class register within 10 mins of the lesson, I will get a general reminder to do it 🤣.

I know it might feel frustrating at times for parents but I would say that if your child's school seems quite strict about absences, then it means they have really good safeguarding systems in place.

I imagine that the receptionist in OP may well have had a busy afternoon dealing with a number of parents arriving unannounced asking for their child to be taken out of class early - it's quite common on the last day of a half term. This puts pressure on staff to alert relevant teachers and interrupt lessons. I imagine she was probably having a bad afternoon.

C

This is stupid and the reason why some reasonable parents become alienated and then unwilling to support schools.

Sick and medical appointment I guess?

@Louloo @DappledThings

M is medical appointment, I is illness and S is usually Study Leave - I'm pretty sure this is common across schools but cannot be 100% certain.

N - means unauthorised with no explanation so if you are able to see this on your child's register but feel it is not correct, then it's a good idea to contact the school to clarify.

I hope this information is useful for people. I used to be a Head of Sixth Form - as you can imagine, keeping on top of post 16 attendance was an interesting affair 🤣

There will absolutely be a teaching or office assistant available to collect the child from class.

He can’t ignore an official complaint…

I don’t understand this policy at all!!… I literally drop my daughter into school at 8.30 and collect her again at 9am for appointments, she’s marked in for the whole 5.5 hour morning session!
When they call me in the afternoon to pick her up if she’s poorly I literally say ‘I’ll collect her at 14.10 (registration is 14:00) so she gets her attendance mark!… they say ‘perfect!’

I wonder if this is something worth phoning your local authority about and asking because I’m sure he’s breaking rules!

If you provided ‘proof’ would she have been marked as ‘authorised absense??

our schools have ALWAYS said that once they’re marked in they’re in, that it. … I’ve asked if they need proof and was told ‘no she’s your child, it’s your choice!

That’s awful!
did you put in an official complaint?
They have to allow medical appointments for low term illness… which anxiety etc falls under if they’ve suffered with it for more than a year.

Ugh this grinds my gears. When I was told this for something very similar I emailed the head and asked who was legally responsible for my child during the afternoon attendance when they were physically there if the school were going to officially mark them as absent. Never got a response or an unauthorised absence.

On the subject of awful headteachers… my now adult sons one was awful. My son was really struggling was diagnosed with anxiety and the GP asked the school to make some changes to help him cope, really small things (this was primary school) headteacher flatly refused but would then scream at my son when he was anxious. I started questioning whether he was autistic. Was told by the headteacher there were no signs of autism it was my bad parenting. I liked him out of school to home school after an episode where she shouted at him so much for flicking the elastic band on his wrist (recommended by the GP as he was self harming at this point) that he had a full blown panic attack. I taught him at home until secondary school age, within two weeks at the new school I got called in and was told they would like to refer him to CAMHS as they suspected he’s autistic. (Was later diagnosed too)

There that authoritarian with the parent. Worry worry Id be asking the kids v/quietly what happens in the school, what is the atmosphere like. Could be interesting. I remember a local doctor was continuing to find kids who came to his practice seemed afraid to use term girls or boys, he investigated on the quiet. the teachers were telling kids off for using correct sex id in conversation. He was one very angry doctor and he considered the teachers abusers. His revenge on them and the school was headline making, he unleashed a furious nasty and defamatory barrage. He was an old time doctor if you abuse a child his philosophy was that it deserved his FULL attention.

Just ask for an appointment card when you go and drop it into the school the next day. It’s not that complicated.
Due to the very sad school refusal issue the UK has, schools have to have quite tight absence policies. If they make an exception for one thing, that might set a precident.
I think you should think a bit more widely than the specific question you have in a school which I assume has at least a few hundred children. And just get the cars rather than ask them to breach policy. I’m sure they’ve got more serious things to worry about.

I work in a school and it's seriously not that deep.

I worry about general absence more than proof of absence - just wouldn’t think twice about providing an appointment card or text. There’s people on here saying make a complaint! Seriously there’s schools where 1/3+ children go in hungry or not at all. So schools have to set some boundary’s. This is quite a high bar but it’s not exactly arduous. Complaint's about providing an optician appointment cars…. In that context just seems a bit glass house.

It's ok. You can just take them and let them get the unauthorised absence mark just for one afternoon for one day

Did the receptionist not authorise her absence?

If your in the UK they have a morning registration and afternoon straight after dinner my primary age child is 1pm my secondary school child is 11.45 if child is present for register then thats what is marked so it won't go as unauthorised they don't change the register once it's done.

Swimming lesson at 3:30pm. Is that not too close to school hours?

Yes she did, verbally.

That means that staff in the school aren't communicating effectively