Is this extremely petty of my children's school?

[PumpkinSly]

I went to the school office today to tell them I would need to collect my two children at 15.05 rather than 15.15 because my ds has an opticians appointment. They asked for proof of the appointment which I don't have. They said that without it, it would go down as an unauthorized absence. I haven't been given an appointment card, or been sent a text or email to confirm the appointment. I went home and rang the opticians who said that the confirmation email has to come from customer services, and they aren't able to do it from the branch. So either we are late to the appointment or, if I pick my children up 10 minutes before the end of the school day, they will get an unauthorised absence for the whole afternoon session.

Aibu to think that this is an extreme level of pettiness from my children's school over them missing 10 minutes at the end of the school day? It's the end of term and I would bet good money that there won't be a full day of teaching and that they will be watching films and playing games etc. This response from the school is bizarre to me, it's 10 minutes at the end of the day!

It won’t be an unauthorised afternoon session as he would have been there when the afternoon register was taken, at 1pm, or 1.15pm or whatever. They’re being ridiculous.

My daughter’s secondary school did this after an emergency dentist appointment that was arranged over the phone, so no written evidence. It was when I was taking her back to school they asked for evidence. Dd had had a baby tooth removed so she said “you can see the gum is still bleeding if you like” 😂😂

I think a resounding "are you suggesting that I am lying?" should suffice. Dd's head at an elite cofe SW London girls school once wrote to parents to say that if a girl was sick during exams a medical certificate would be required. I wrote to say there was no statutory requirement to provide a med cert before the 8th day of sickness and as GPs were able to request payment if required for smaller intervals, would the school a) pay the fee and b) if my dd was ill, would the school persist in its intimation I was dishonest?

A response was not received. In any event we were sick and tired of the broken promises, tone and mismanagement and moved her at the end of year 8.

It took a once great school 7 years to get shot of a hopeless head. Meanwhile they got shot of a lot of straight A pupils with parents who donated in spades.

Unfortunately there's no control group so we'll never know the toll it took on your children's education that they missed ten minutes of school compared to not being able to read the whiteboard and/or their textbooks for the rest of their schooling. O well.

Well then they're living in a fantasy where everyone can make appointments that don't interfere with school or work.

Not only is it petty to expect this for ten minutes of absence, do schools actually ask for proof of any authorised absence? My daughters had a few dentist and doctors appointments during her five years at primary school and never once have I been asked for proof.

When I was at school in the 90s and 00s, lots of kids left early for the dentist - much earlier than 3. I remember term time holidays as well, one time my dad told my teacher that I was going to be "sick" for a week in May, and my teacher laughed and said she hoped I had fun being "sick". :D

Schools that act this way can't then complain about parents not having their back tbh.

I think they are wrong as it depends on when the register is actually taken. Most schools do it straight after lunch to ensure nobody got lost over lunchtime. That is a legal check mark and if edited it needs to have a reason why. It’s a legal document.

some schools, mainly secondary, take register at end of the day to make sure everyone stayed for the afternoon!!

as soon as register is taken and their bum is on the seat then they are classed to be present.

ask to see the attendance policy. Read it through and see where it actually says they have to be in the whole session.

If they are present for registration then for statistical purposes they are classed as present for the whole session. The Head teacher can jog on

This must be a particularly UK type thing. I just took my children for various dental appointments, optometrist, specialist appointments as required and never thought anything of it. Actually one such lunchtime visit opened my eyes to the horror of their school (I discovered one boy making a fairly serious attempt to garotte a terrified girl in an otherwise empty classroom. Yes, I did stop him.) I uplifted them permanently and changed their school. In their primary school, the headmaster did ask that people stop reporting their children as away being away for a week with flu with them coming back deeply bronzed from an obvious winter holiday in the sun - he suggested the children just write a diary of their trip.

Schools are held accountable for attendance, more now than ever. This can effect their OFsted status which in turn effects how many parents want to send their children there which then impacts funding. It isn’t a case of schools being petty.

Is it rude to call you an idiot ?
Appointments anywhere are difficult to get

I expect your school does the same for the other end of the school day too i.e. if they're 10 minutes late it goes down as an unauthorised absence for the entire morning, not just 10 minutes

That's what my DC's school does, anyway.

One year we got called in by the school to discuss "absences", and I was literally asked why my DS had been absent. If fact we'd been late lots (this was years ago, before I was diagnosed with ADHD and I was struggling at the time) but they had no way to distinguish between DS frequently missing the morning register by a few minutes, and frequently missing whole mornings. It makes no sense to me, but it's not unusual for them to record it like that.

Don't let them stop you taking your DD out early for that afternoon. Being marked as having an unauthorised absence as a one-off is of no consequence whatsoever.

I got a call from the school on the morning of my wedding asking where my daughter was. I had informed them in writing (and possibly called too) that she wouldn't be in as she she was going to the wedding. The poor secretary was mortified and wished us a lovely day. It's annoying when their systems don't work, so you can do everything right and still get the calls. But better that than a child falls off the radar.

It is very petty, but maybe it is necessary with other pupils. Either get an email or ask for proof when at the appointment and hand it in after the event, like I get a card with my prescription on at my appointments if that would be sufficient

It does seem a very uk ( or maybe English ) thing. I've sent 3 kids through primary and high and never once wrote a note or anything about why they were away if they were. By the time texting was around they would regularly text and say one was absent. Give me a heart attack as I'd dropped him at the gates and turned out it was a child who had a first and last name one letter different from mine. I'd ring and speak to the office and get it sorted. Never bothered other than that.

With youngest in high school I get a text asking to reply with a reason. I mostly do.
The only thing that happens ( where I live) is that on your end of year report you get Number of Authorised Absences = x
Number of Unauthorised Absences = y

What actually happens in the uk that everyone seems so worried about if you have an unauthorised absence?
I mean assuming your child turns up regularly to school.

Schools are held accountable for attendance, more now than ever. This can effect their OFsted status which in turn effects how many parents want to send their children there which then impacts funding. It isn’t a case of schools being petty.

But schools don't have to mark someone as absent for the afternoon if they leave 10 mins early. Most schools (I'd guess the majority) would mark them as present just after lunch and then leave it at that. So it is petty for OP's school to talk about unauthorised absences in this case.

It's also not just petty, it's pointless. It's not possible to always book appointments outside of school time. I have to take a half day next Monday for a hospital appointment for DD which was booked and I just got a letter telling me when it was. The school could complain at me all they want, but I'm not going to wait another 6 months by turning down this appointment and asking for something else (which may then also be in school time anyway). Even for dentists where you can control when you book it, after school appointments book up quickly. I've got to find a time I can get off work, and a dentist slot for me plus 2 DDs, so a longer appointment. Sometimes that is in school hours.

Why are you making a optician appt that needs.to leave school early, most of them are open weekends and until 5 or 6. Usually a school holidays job.

I'm surprised the parents lied. I work in a very diverse primary school and dc are taken on extended visits to their parents home country all the time. It's a valuable cultural experience for them. It's obviously different in England though so u guess they felt they had to.

As for op it's absolutely ridiculous the school asking for this or saying it would count as an absence but one unauthorised absence means nothing to you or your dc in the long run so I'd be taking it anyway. You have a legitimate reason and I'm sure there is a reason you didn't make it later. I will add though it is a pain when parents come and take dc out early, especially when we are short staffed. We get a lot of appointments pop up when it's raining (ie parents don't want to stand and wait in the playground) and we're back and forward like a yo-yo taking dc to the office meaning no one is a bit to help the wider class get ready to go home

I’m baffled as to why you wouldn’t just smile and say ‘okay’. What does it matter what code they put in a register?

😂😂😂😂

I worked in a school office for many years. The days before holidays were spent fetching children from class to go sudden medical or dental appointments. Very disruptive for the classes, teachers get annoyed. Book bags , coats, change of shoes, jumpers have to be found. Children may has to be found in playground, assembly’s, music lessons. It also meant we couldn’t get on with our own work so had to stay behind to get it finished. So staff do get cross at you picking you child up early. It’s not just 10 minutes earlier. You are probably the twelfth person that day.

In the case laid out in the OP, the kids were at school for both registrations and missed a whole 10 minutes at the end of the day. They could have "missed" that much education having a difficult shit.

Assuming OP is a normal parent who makes an effort to get her kids into school on time and keeps the school up to date about any illnesses etc, demanding a note for missing 10 whole minutes at the end of the school day and saying it will be marked as an unauthorised absence does absolutely nothing but undermine her rapport with the school.

Why is it automatically assumed that you are lying if you don’t have documentary proof? Can’t they just take your word for it? It’s heavy handed for the loss of 10 minutes and I agree that it’s petty.

I had a similar experience with my son’s school. I was ordered to go home and write an email to the school (even though I had just told her verbally) and provide a letter. And she was really rude and abrupt and told my husband off (in front of my son) when he brought him back to school later in the day.

Sorry but I was more concerned about my son who had to have a blood test to rule out leukaemia.