Am I being a jerk ?

[M2BANTRIM]

So this just happened this morning . My husband and I are sharing a car and he comes each morning to pick me up from my night shift . So whenever he comes , another female colleague of mine often gets a ride from us and we drop her off near her house . So I hate awkward silences and I am always making small talk . I shared with my colleague a funny story about DH and I and I noticed that he was just stern faced . Later when the colleague dropped off , DH was fuming asking me why are you always talking about us ? She never talks to you about her husband!!! ‘
I was so annoyed with DH and he still refuses to talk to me. Was I a jerk for sharing a funny story ??

I think your colleague may need to start finding another way home. Sounds like there’s a bigger issue of you volunteering your husband for lifts.

Depends. Was your funny story making fun of your husband or making him look bad?

Think about it the other way around. Imagine you’re in the car and he picked up a male mate and then told them a funny story about you without asking. Not so funny now is it?

Depends on the “funny” story.

Was it something he finds embarrassing?

Depends on the story I suppose. If he felt it was an overshare or it was embarrassing for him rather than funny then I can understand him being annoyed.

Making small talk in car definitely normal though.

Some people are more private than others. I am not a big one for sharing details of my life with everyone, so can appreciate his view.

This.

Also he's probably getting pretty pissed off that he needs to drop your work colleague off every morning. Did he have any say in this, or did you just volunteer him to be a taxi service?

First thing in the morning, a funny story is something I could do without personally.

Your DH probably doesn't appreciate the jollity with someone he doesn't know and perhaps doesn't care for.

This

If this was a routine occurrence and a man routinely shared funny stories mocking his wife, or sharing things that should be private MN would be calling it belittling and emotional abuse.

It's a fine line, and lots of people male and female are over sharers or don't see a problem with making jokes about loved ones....if its equal.
But if he feels it's unequal and at his expense then you are in the wrong.

What level of 'funny' was this story?

Your husband is in the right on this. I would be seething if my spouse kept sharing "funny" anecdotes about our home life with a colleague.

Why are you annoyed with him?

He's told you he didn't like you telling the story, and it seems you do this fairly frequently.

Are you annoyed with him for him being annoyed with you?

It made him uncomfortable.

Do you chat to him too? Greet him as if you are pleased to see him? Ask how he is? Or just chatter inanely to your colleague and leave him out as if he is a taxi driver?

It’s ok to just look out the window in a car journey. People not talking isn’t ‘awkward’.

You sound childish.

Yes depends on the funny story. Was it one where the laugh is on him?

I wouldn’t like it if I were him, either. He picks you up so looks like he’s a supportive partner (as you are to him I’m sure). And you regale your mate with stories about him…he obviously doesn’t want to have no control over which intimate or private or just random details about his life get shared for laughs with someone he doesn’t know.

Leaning towards you being the jerk @M2BANTRIM but I guess maybe it’s story dependent.

So your husband picks this women up daily because you've decided she can have a lift and your thanks to him is to share stories about him with her?

I'm sure you'd love it if he was doing the same with his colleagues.

Not sure why you even need to ask to be honest, it's obvious you're being a jerk.

Imagine if every time you collect him
from work, he tells you you’re taking another colleague home as well, and then tells them a ‘funny’ story about you whilst you’re doing so.

I’d be pissed off with you, too. What was the funny story?

This

If your husband doesn’t like you sharing information about him then just stop doing it. You’re not wrong but neither is he and as it matters to him, I don’t see why you wouldn’t just respect his choice, especially when he’s doing your colleague a favour.

You have nothing to be angry about.

Sometimes small talk is more awkward than silences.

Assuming the story about you both was just ‘funny’ and not embarrassing then I think the problem is your husband is fed up of giving this woman a lift. I drive so don’t often get lifts I don’t reciprocate but on the occasion I do it’s usually “hi thank you so much for coming to get me I really appreciate it”, polite, bright and breezy even if I don’t feel like it. If I was picking someone up and there were awkward silences and stern faces I’d be like ‘why the hell am I putting myself out for this misery”. Your DH has probably picked up on you trying to make small talk and feels like you’re both being mugged off and his frustration has boiled over.

If she’s coming across as ungrateful I’d probably find a reason you can’t give this person a lift anymore.

This, also does he then go on to work? It must be quite a commute for you to be unable to get home another way, does this then mean he has to leave home, pick you and her up, take her home, back home with you then work?

I agree, plus it’s very rude to talk about someone in front of them.
YABU.

It wasn’t even an embarrassing story . Like I said it was a funny story of how we met and it is not embarrassing at all and almost everyone we know are aware of the story . I got mad at him coz he just looks so pissed for no freaking reason at all. Maybe I am a jerk! Maybe i’ll just take the L on this one