Am I being a jerk ?

[M2BANTRIM]

So this just happened this morning . My husband and I are sharing a car and he comes each morning to pick me up from my night shift . So whenever he comes , another female colleague of mine often gets a ride from us and we drop her off near her house . So I hate awkward silences and I am always making small talk . I shared with my colleague a funny story about DH and I and I noticed that he was just stern faced . Later when the colleague dropped off , DH was fuming asking me why are you always talking about us ? She never talks to you about her husband!!! ‘
I was so annoyed with DH and he still refuses to talk to me. Was I a jerk for sharing a funny story ??

If he looked pissed I wouldn't be getting in the car with him

I got mad at him coz he just looks so pissed for not freaking reason at all.

Way to ignore the fact you've turned him into a taxi driver. He's giving your colleague a lift home every time he collects you from work. Then on top of this you're sharing stories about him, and you expect him not to be pissed off. I bet this colleague doesn't even contribute to petrol costs.

I can see why you think he should not have been put out about this, but the fact is he was, so maybe apologise and explain that there was no hurt intended. He is allowed to have his own feelings.

Yes a bit. It's tempting to do but talking about your spouse - worse relating a 'funny story' about him - while he's in the car, well I wouldn't like it. Keep the chat less personal.

I think you probably just need one of those “shall we talk about it” conversations. Ask him if it’s the fact he’s dropping the colleague off that’s the problem. Really he sounds like he’s getting up early to fit into a routine that suits you as a couple but both making sacrifices, and then someone else jumps in who is only benefiting from your arrangement. He might have been pissed off about it a while and just woke up feeling a bit grumpy.

In fairness they are sharing a car. So if OP drove herself in he wouldn't have a car to get to work and vice versa. It doesn't sound like the OP is being entitled/unreasonable anymore than the husband is for wanting to drive himself to work (he could also find an alternative way in).

Neither !!! It was a light hearted story but with a slightly funny twist

He works from home but usually has the car at home to do school runs and picking up our kids from childminders . I do have a license but haven’t saved enough for a new car

My DH would hate me sharing a story about him with someone he is not friends with, in front of him. He doesn't care if I do this while chatting with friends and colleagues on my own, but the dynamics are different when he's around. I can see this.

Also, chatter in a car can be distracting and unnecessary. Are you being a people pleaser? Maybe something about this upsets your husband (it could read as bending over backwards for someone you're already doing a favor for).

You overstepped one of his boundaries- just say sorry.

Just let him stew. He'll get over it eventually

I suspect he's a bit sick of being used as a taxi service.

Did you ask him if he minded taking your colleague home everyday?

Depends on the story. And dropping someone else off on your way home is not being a "free taxi service." ffs.

It is if you've not been asked.

Common courtesy is making sure the driver is okay with doing a detour before you sign them up for it.

No suggestion that either he wasn’t asked or that it’s a detour.

Perhaps you should try and cultivate the ability to sit in comfortable silence? I'm not sure first thing in the morning is a time I'd be delighted to have funny stories told about me to someone I don't know tbh.

I know, which is why I said "if".

Stop the lifts for colleague and stop talking about him.

Oooft so working and doing all school/childminder runs ands you and colleague taxi service? Ouch! If he wfh, why don't you just take the car for night shift. Finish, drive home and take dc to school etc?

She is using pissed in the American way ie. pissed off/annoyed not drunk