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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Should i be worried about this person in my friend’s life?

34 replies

INeedToRantLol · 23/05/2024 16:57

Hi so I’ll try to keep this as short as possible. A good friend of mine who i’ve known for years has met this woman online who my friend has become very close to in a short space of time. This woman is about 10 years older than her and seems to live the high life on social media. This woman is married. My friend is too and she has 3 young kids also she recently had her third. This friend of hers is constantly complimenting her. They talk on the phone every night. This woman lives in a different country from my friend but they’re talking about meeting up. She seems obsessed with my friend and tells her about doing online modelling work posing in bikinis etc. nothing wrong with compliments and even doing modelling work but the issue here is that they have opened up to each other so fast and I think there is ulterior motives going on. At best an emotional affair (physical affair when they meet up) at worst grooming and exploitation. There’s something about her that I can’t place but something seems off. Am I just being crazy? I’m worried because my friend is vulnerable. She has additional needs and suffers from low self esteem

OP posts:
YankSplaining · 23/05/2024 17:00

Is your friend attracted to women?

INeedToRantLol · 23/05/2024 17:04

YankSplaining · 23/05/2024 17:00

Is your friend attracted to women?

She has had attractions to women in the past but I think she still is. Her family were against it when she experimented with a girl in her late teens

OP posts:
INeedToRantLol · 23/05/2024 17:27

Bump

OP posts:
INeedToRantLol · 23/05/2024 18:40

Bump

OP posts:
TheGirlWithTheMousyHair · 23/05/2024 18:42

Didn’t we have this exact scenario about a week ago?

cestlavielife · 23/05/2024 18:43

Is the woman real? Have they met in real life?

INeedToRantLol · 23/05/2024 18:46

cestlavielife · 23/05/2024 18:43

Is the woman real? Have they met in real life?

Yes she’s real and no they’ve never met in person yet

OP posts:
MatildaTheCat · 23/05/2024 18:47

That does sound worrying. Is her husband aware of all or any of this?

DoreenonTill8 · 23/05/2024 18:51

TheGirlWithTheMousyHair · 23/05/2024 18:42

Didn’t we have this exact scenario about a week ago?

I thought I recognised it, sounds a bit grubby of both women.

INeedToRantLol · 23/05/2024 19:06

MatildaTheCat · 23/05/2024 18:47

That does sound worrying. Is her husband aware of all or any of this?

He knows about the friend as she never shuts up about her but he doesn’t know the extent of her relationship with this friend

OP posts:
INeedToRantLol · 23/05/2024 20:36

Bump

OP posts:
HappyAutumnFields · 23/05/2024 20:41

What is it exactly you’re worried is going to happen?

HappyAutumnFields · 23/05/2024 20:45

I mean, I’m not sure I see grooming and exploitation, unless you haven’t mentioned your friend being a vulnerable adult. Is this not just two women with children living in different countries developing a sudden and intense distance friendship that may well die down again as fast as it started? If your friend has three young children, including a new baby, she’s hardly going to elope abroad with her new friend to go bikini modelling…?

INeedToRantLol · 23/05/2024 21:01

HappyAutumnFields · 23/05/2024 20:41

What is it exactly you’re worried is going to happen?

That she’ll be exploited in some way e.g. trafficked or wreck her marriage

OP posts:
INeedToRantLol · 23/05/2024 21:06

HappyAutumnFields · 23/05/2024 20:45

I mean, I’m not sure I see grooming and exploitation, unless you haven’t mentioned your friend being a vulnerable adult. Is this not just two women with children living in different countries developing a sudden and intense distance friendship that may well die down again as fast as it started? If your friend has three young children, including a new baby, she’s hardly going to elope abroad with her new friend to go bikini modelling…?

She has additional needs and self esteem issues. She’s had friendships break down on her in the past and it’s really scarred her. Yes there’s nothing wrong with developing a friendship online but my problem is I think she’s over sharing with this woman. I also think there’s sketchy stuff going on with her. This woman has said to my friend that she tells her things she tells no one else. I don’t know but I find that a bit odd. Also this woman is talking my friend into posting lingerie photos

I couldn’t see her going over to meet this friend soon but if it becomes really obsessive she might go alone.

OP posts:
INeedToRantLol · 23/05/2024 21:49

Bump

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DoreenonTill8 · 23/05/2024 21:55

All the bumps make you seem over invested in her now!

INeedToRantLol · 23/05/2024 22:11

DoreenonTill8 · 23/05/2024 21:55

All the bumps make you seem over invested in her now!

If it was your friend you’d be worried

OP posts:
PurpleChrayn · 23/05/2024 22:52

Stop bumping this ridiculous thread!

mrlistersgelfbride · 23/05/2024 22:57

If they live in a different country hopefully the thought of meeting up will die down and it won't happen.
If it does look like it will happen, tell your friend you are worried about her.
Can you distract her from online chatting to this woman ie. plan something to do together?

tennesseewhiskey1 · 23/05/2024 23:01

Maybe she’s going to use the pictures to blackmail her.

INeedToRantLol · 24/05/2024 14:38

mrlistersgelfbride · 23/05/2024 22:57

If they live in a different country hopefully the thought of meeting up will die down and it won't happen.
If it does look like it will happen, tell your friend you are worried about her.
Can you distract her from online chatting to this woman ie. plan something to do together?

Maybe but I can just see it happening. I’m going to try to help her more but I work long hours. Hopefully there’s nothing sinister going on for her sake as I hate to jump to conclusions.

the reason why I said it looks like it’s gonna happen as this woman’s husband is rich and could easily send her over like that so who knows

OP posts:
INeedToRantLol · 24/05/2024 14:39

tennesseewhiskey1 · 23/05/2024 23:01

Maybe she’s going to use the pictures to blackmail her.

I don’t know but there’s talk of sites like onlyfans so I could see her getting my friend into that or worse

OP posts:
INeedToRantLol · 24/05/2024 14:39

Bump

OP posts:
YouMustBeHappyNow · 24/05/2024 14:44

Stop with the bumping!