To not want to be called "my woman"

[Savemykitchen]

Me and DH had an argument last night about this. He referred to me as "my woman", it was just in a conversation between us and not public. But it gave me the ick immediately and I politely asked him not to refer to me like that again.

He got in a huff and couldn't see the issue, rationalising there's a difference between "my woman" and "my wife", which I'm fine with.

IMO, there is a bih difference. It's not only grammatically incorrect, I find it feels possessive and old fashioned. I'm not an object to be owned.

I realise this is very much a first world problem. But it's disrespectful, right? If I don't like something - within reason - then just don't do it. Why argue? Or AIBU and overly sensitive?

*there's NO difference between "my woman" and "my wife"

Women are allowed to refer to their man though.

It's up to you of course but I hear my man a lot

I thought you must be in Norfolk or Suffolk when I read your thread title. 😂

That's not really my point is it.

Also, I personally would never refer to DH as "my man".

Yeah, it's misogynistic. You're not his women, like some kind of possession. It's really gross.

'My woman' could sound like you are his possession whereas 'My wife' is an explanation of your relationship. Not sure I'd be offended but it would depend on the context and the tone in which the words were used.

I agree with you that there's a difference. "My wife" is describ8ng your relationship to him, while "my woman" feels like he's claiming ownership.

Whether he agrees with the difference or not, it's not a big deal for him not to describe you in that way and you clearly don't like it, so he shouldn't do it. Its similar to how you use someone's preference of name - you wouldn't call someone Tom if they prefer Thomas or vice versa.

DP calls me 'woman' I call him 'bloke' we also call each other knob bellend and twat. None are serious and we've been together for 30 ish years. 🤷🏼‍♀️

I really don't see the problem with it. It's not a term I use, but many women refer to their husband/boyfriend as 'my man' and I don't think referring to a wife/girlfriend as 'my woman' is any different.

My woman/my man do sound more possessive than my wife/husband/partner.

I hate "the wife". The wife, the dog, the chair, the fridge... That's the dehumanising one imo.

Good for you, and I assume if one day in the future he asked you not to call him knob, you'd respectfully do that?

Yes that's the important thing. It's not about who is ok with what, it's that if you are told your partner doesn't like something, you respect that and stop doing it.

IMO, there is a bih difference. It's not only grammatically incorrect, I find it feels possessive and old fashioned. I'm not an object to be owned.

It's not grammatically incorrect, but I agree it's offensive (unless a couple are in the habit of jokily referring to each other in that way).

It was actually attempted to be said in an affectionate way, but it still irked me.

Then just move on from it as you've already talked about it with him...

We did talk it through and he dismissed my feelings. Which is why I've made the effort to ask for wider opinions, to gauge if I'm being overly sensitive.

If you don't want to read about it. Then don't.

It’s a bit bloody caveman.

You've popped it on a public forum... I can read what I please.

You are being overly sensitive. There's your answer.

I think it can be used jokingly and he doesn't sound like he was intentionally being offensive. What matters is his reaction to your reaction. So as long as now he knows you don't like it he doesn't, all is well.
For what it's worth I agree "my wife"=relationship explanation. "My woman" = possession

Maybe the issue is less about what he called you and more about him not listening to you when you said you didn't like it?
I wouldn't say you were being overly sensitive to not like being called something. We like what we like/ don't like other stuff, and it can be hurtful if those close to us don't respect that.

YANBU. I am French as is DH and we speak French so when he says my wife he is also saying woman and it still feels unfair to me that husband and man get to be 2 different words.

I see nothing wrong with it. Like others have said I hear 'my man' or 'fella' a lot round here.

Me too, sit you down my woman!

Has he said he won't use it in future? You feel one way about it, he feels another. Neither of you have to change your mind, but he has to respect that you don't want to be referred to in that way.