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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To defend nursery on parents whatsap

58 replies

Whenthechipshitthefan · 23/05/2024 11:20

I can't tell what the right thing to do it.
We have a nursery whatsap (its muted because otherwise it would drive me crazy). Recently one mum has been complaining about how nursery won't let them not pay the consumables charge for free hours when they're on holiday.
They've started looking up the legal rights and got a few other parenta commenting on her side but generally its a one- woman rant.
She has (rightly said) that it's not a cheap nursery. But seems to think its the nursery is putting profit first.
My view its- the nursery pays a really decent wage. It has a really low turnover of staff. They frequently post congratulating staff on their 10year anniversaries. They receive high levels of training.
But also- My daughters love it there. They are cared for, their individual needs taken care of and they have all kinds of extra enrichment activities (e.g. forest school with fires and other activities; interesting visitors giving talks to pre-school etc) all included. Surely everyone is aware that the 'consumables' charge has very little to do with actual consumables and more to do with topping up the gov subsidies that are being called "free hours"
I really want to say something. I know she will try and raise a stink and legally she is right- she doesn't have to pay for consumables and can opt out.
But if everyone did then either the nursery would have to stop being part of the scheme or raise prices more for the non free hours. Or pay staff less. Or lower levels of care.

I would like to say-
We all know that the consumables charge doesn't really relate to consumables but tops up the pittance
they get from the government under the false name "free hours" which allows staff to be paid a decent wage and higher than usual levels of training, (reflected in the low turnover) children to have extra- enrichment activities and the nursery to not charge more for non-"free" hours. I think we need to look at the bigger picture else fees will need to rise even more, or they will end up opting out of the "free hours" programme.

Should I just keep my mouth shut?

OP posts:
araiwa · 23/05/2024 11:23

I wouldn't get involved

JuiceBoxJuggler · 23/05/2024 11:24

No, tell her to stop being so entitled or move nurseries.

Entitlement is so rife nowadays it's getting ridiculous.

FiveGuyPastry · 23/05/2024 11:25

I agree with you but I wouldn’t get involved. You’re not going to convince someone like that to change their mind. It’s a total waste of energy and headspace.

qwertyqwertyqwertyqwerty · 23/05/2024 11:26

I'd just ignore, I purposely avoid being on parent WhatsApp groups so I don't have to hear all this type of thing.

Theredoubtableskins · 23/05/2024 11:29

But isn’t she right? My kids have been out of nursery for years so I’m not totally clear on it, however I was pretty sure that the top-up fee for consumables cannot be mandatory. You must have the option to access the funded hours without any additional fee if you send your own lunch etc. So, they can opt out of the extra charge if they’re not using the lunch option.

You might not like the rules, but the nursery cannot just create their own and enforce it when the tiles for finding are clear.

Peonies12 · 23/05/2024 11:32

I agree with you but honestly I'd just ignore the group. I thought you were entitled to not pay the top up but you'd have to provide everything yourself. Some people just don't know how things work, or love to complain/ pick battles!

Original poster
Whenthechipshitthefan · 23/05/2024 11:32

I probably shouldn't say anything. I just don't want other people to start agreeing.
The worst thing is- even the consumables are good. The food is really high quality! I don't know how many 4 year olds eat and enjoy fish curry but mine does! I wouldn't have even ever offered fish curry at home- but thanks to them mine will try anything. With my eldest at school I really appreciate nursery more and more. I honesty don't know how they do it on so little.

OP posts:
Riversideandrelax · 23/05/2024 11:32

I agree with you. Why do they call it 'consumables', though? If they called it something else it would be clearer what it is?

My DD's nursery had a pretty big top-up and like yours had low turnover of staff, high staff:child ratio, lots of extras. Noone had to go there but if you wanted all that, obviously you have to pay.

albertoross · 23/05/2024 11:32

No like you say everyone knows it. But if she has a legal right then she should feel free to pursue that.

Seashor · 23/05/2024 11:32

I defended and challenged every single negative comment on my child’s school Facebook page. It was sickening how parents were using it to online bully the teachers and school policies. It didn’t take long before the bitch brigade started to wind their necks in. The headteacher emailed me to thank me for all the support. He said that I had single handedly boosted staff morale.
I definitely would have to challenge it, I can’t abide things like this. If you don’t like the terms and conditions then bugger off!!!

Megifer · 23/05/2024 11:33

Nooooo keep out of it.

You may be a lone voice and end up being That Parent and she has a point IMO.

How much is the charge?

Original poster
Whenthechipshitthefan · 23/05/2024 11:36

She is right- but if everyone opted out then the nursery would have to stop accepting the free hours. They can opt out of that. So everyone would be worse off

Or they could up the cost of the non-free hours.
The legally can't call it anything else. Or charge more for "free" hours. Its an expensive nursery- I think £6.20/hr at last count. But after the council take their cut I think the nursery get about £3.50/hour for a free hour. They can't survive on that

OP posts:
Megifer · 23/05/2024 11:41

How much is the extra charge?

MariaVT65 · 23/05/2024 11:43

Nah just let it go. The cost of consumables are included in our price and we still haveto pay that when we are away. So many parents have to pay it anyway.

Some parents are just like that as well. There’s a mum at a baby group I go to that moans every week that her employer won’t let her wfh while looking after her baby. The other mums seem supportive and i just sit there and bite my tongue.

WhereIsMyLight · 23/05/2024 11:44

You’re absolutely right. Unfortunately your well reasoned argument won’t land with someone like this. If you respond, I would go with a very blunt statement along the lines of “of course you can opt out of the consumables when you aren’t there but nursery can also opt out of the funded hours except for those on lower incomes. I think the consumable free and keeping free hours is preferable but you do you”. I get it, she’s pissed off and the endless exhaustive list of fees with nurseries but she needs to realise that the funded hours aren’t a given (we’re entitled to the 2 year old funding but our nursery isn’t offering it).

Theunamedcat · 23/05/2024 11:48

Consumables? Like food? My nursery never charged for food if I was on a pre planned holiday

albertoross · 23/05/2024 11:50

Whenthechipshitthefan · 23/05/2024 11:36

She is right- but if everyone opted out then the nursery would have to stop accepting the free hours. They can opt out of that. So everyone would be worse off

Or they could up the cost of the non-free hours.
The legally can't call it anything else. Or charge more for "free" hours. Its an expensive nursery- I think £6.20/hr at last count. But after the council take their cut I think the nursery get about £3.50/hour for a free hour. They can't survive on that

Yes and I think most people understand that but it's up to her if she wants to pursue it or not

Original poster
Whenthechipshitthefan · 23/05/2024 11:55

The charge is £2/hr.

They don't charge for Bank Holidays which I know a lot of other nurseries do.

OP posts:
Ijustdontcare · 23/05/2024 11:58

Riversideandrelax · 23/05/2024 11:32

I agree with you. Why do they call it 'consumables', though? If they called it something else it would be clearer what it is?

My DD's nursery had a pretty big top-up and like yours had low turnover of staff, high staff:child ratio, lots of extras. Noone had to go there but if you wanted all that, obviously you have to pay.

Its a legal grey area they can only charge for consumables, The charge should only be for the actual consumable but often its used for other things like paying wages etc. if they call it anything else they would be breaking the law.

pleasehelpagirlout62 · 23/05/2024 12:05

Sometimes it’s best to keep your mouth shut, it’s not affecting you or your finances x it could end up getting awkward for you
not saying I disagree with you though

Riversideandrelax · 23/05/2024 12:29

Whenthechipshitthefan · 23/05/2024 11:36

She is right- but if everyone opted out then the nursery would have to stop accepting the free hours. They can opt out of that. So everyone would be worse off

Or they could up the cost of the non-free hours.
The legally can't call it anything else. Or charge more for "free" hours. Its an expensive nursery- I think £6.20/hr at last count. But after the council take their cut I think the nursery get about £3.50/hour for a free hour. They can't survive on that

They can't legally call it anything else? My DD's nursery didn't call it 'consumables' and neither did any of the other nurseries I looked at. Strange.

Riversideandrelax · 23/05/2024 12:35

Peonies12 · 23/05/2024 11:32

I agree with you but honestly I'd just ignore the group. I thought you were entitled to not pay the top up but you'd have to provide everything yourself. Some people just don't know how things work, or love to complain/ pick battles!

Edited

How can you provide everything yourself though? So when the other DC go to Yoga you provide a personal Yoga tutor? Or when they go to the Montessori room you provide your own Montessori activities for them? And when the other DC have 4 DC to 1 adult who is highly paid, your DC is put in a group of 8:1 with a nursery nurse on minimum wage? It makes no sense. If you want that then surely you send them to a free playgroup?

Riversideandrelax · 23/05/2024 12:39

Ijustdontcare · 23/05/2024 11:58

Its a legal grey area they can only charge for consumables, The charge should only be for the actual consumable but often its used for other things like paying wages etc. if they call it anything else they would be breaking the law.

Show quote history

That's interesting. I guess it's not picked up on then as so many round here are officially breaking the law. I much prefer them to be clear about what you are paying for, though.

onefinalhurdle · 23/05/2024 12:40

The thing is they aren't paid a pittance and in many instances the value of the top up far outweighs the value of the services eg being charged £8 for meals which was on another thread recently

onefinalhurdle · 23/05/2024 12:43

At £2per hour over an 8 hour day is £16 - my child doesn't use that value of consumables in a day- nurseries behave nothing better than a cartel as they know parents have limited other options in many areas so are forced to put up and shut up about these kind of practices which the government makes very clear is against the rules