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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think it’s a crime to pretend to be a registered doctor?

140 replies

Domino34 · 21/05/2024 22:53

Keep this short and sweet, please help me out!
I discovered that the ‘psychotherapist’ that ‘works for the nhs’ I’ve been having therapy sessions on the phone with, was actually not a doctor at all. Payed for by DH. I think I’ve been a victim of coercive control. Yet another tactic to manipulate me and be in a position of power. It sounds crazy, I know! My question is, is it a crime in the same way where if somebody pretended to be a police officer? I feel like my mind has been violated. I haven’t done anything about this. . . What can I do?

OP posts:
listsandbudgets · 22/05/2024 09:47

My sister is a clinical psychologist. She is not a medical doctor but is often referred to as Dr. X because she has a PhD. You can't do her job without one. She also works fir the NHS

A psychotherapist may well be a qualified psychologist

Azandme · 22/05/2024 09:48

Domino34 · 22/05/2024 09:37

Thank you, I hope for this too. I have reason to believe he is back in this country, although not anywhere near here. I did receive a text telling me if I do not comply with him, he will ‘enforce his rights as a father’. What about our rights to have emotional and physical safety? Whether he means to take me to court or not I’m unsure, but this is what has prompted me to take action rather than be a sitting duck and letting him get away with it. If that makes sense.

"Enforce his rights as a father." It could mean court, or it could mean he's going to come and take your child by force.

Police, immediately. I really would not wait for Citizens Advice, they can take ages. Women's Aid after the police.

You need protection from a legal perspective, that comes from calling the police.

listsandbudgets · 22/05/2024 09:51

Ps voted YABU because although it's a crime to pretend to be a medical doctor ( or should be) I don't think your therapist is committing a crime

listsandbudgets · 22/05/2024 09:55

blimey I'm so sorry OP just read the rest of your posts.. I think I'd be talking to the police fir advice.. that's horrendous

PlainChipsandIpads · 22/05/2024 10:00

I think your mistake is your own assumption that a psychotherapist is a doctor, unless you have actual proof of the psychotherapist claiming to be a doctor, and further proof that said person does not have qualifications in both medicine and psychotherapy.

Imbusytodaysorry · 22/05/2024 10:16

Domino34 · 22/05/2024 09:37

Thank you, I hope for this too. I have reason to believe he is back in this country, although not anywhere near here. I did receive a text telling me if I do not comply with him, he will ‘enforce his rights as a father’. What about our rights to have emotional and physical safety? Whether he means to take me to court or not I’m unsure, but this is what has prompted me to take action rather than be a sitting duck and letting him get away with it. If that makes sense.

He has lay low for a couple of months and he now feels comfortable you aren’t taking what he done further. Now he’s upping his game with more control.

Call the passport office and say you would like to report a lost passport . If you say you need to cancel it you can’t . It has to be lost to get a replacement they issue a number and you apply for a new one and use the lost number they gave you . This way you wilL find out either way if your child actually has one .

I can’t believe the extremes he has went too . I’m so sorry .
Time to get fight back . Women’s aid will definitely support you through this. I’m

mindutopia · 22/05/2024 10:38

I'm sorry you've been through this, but this is exactly why you need to check the qualifications of any professionals you see before you agree to begin a therapeutic relationship with them. Any random could pretend to be anyone they want to be, if you don't check them with, say, BACP or another professional body, look at their website, read their reviews, sign a proper agreement with them as a client. I doubt any reputable therapist would agree to see a client for relationship issues that was arranged by a partner. Entering a therapeutic relationship needs to be entirely of your own free will.

ThankGodForDancingFruit · 22/05/2024 10:39

I think I recall your previous thread.

Is this a woman who is a drug addict and you think was trying to get information about you to feed back to your DH?

If so, the whole situation needs to be reported to the police if you haven’t already (I seem to recall you have police involvement) as harassment and stalking.

I don’t think that this would be in itself a criminal act, it’s not as if she has forged documents or advertised as a professional.

GivePeaceAChance · 22/05/2024 11:00

BloodyAdultDC · 22/05/2024 09:19

MEDICAL 'doctors' only use the Dr as a professional courtesy - when they specialise into consultancy they go back to Mr/Mrs/Miss.

You could get a PhD for just about anything non-medical and absolutely refer to yourself as Doctor.

(Same with the occupation of Lawyer - you don't have to be an actual solicitor to call yourself a lawyer, just working in law/legal advice)

As I said obviously there is a difference re Dr title and profession. Anyone however that claims to be a doctor of medicine and that includes consultants is breaking the law. The title is protected.

Just as a designer, interior designer or draughtsmen who claims or misleads a client into thinking they are an architect is also breaking the law. The title of architect is protected.

You are right about lawyers though the title is not protected it’s barristers I was thinking of.

Daftapath · 22/05/2024 11:06

What country is your husband from?

As well as contacting the police for advice on your safety, you need legal advice on how to prevent your H from taking your child out of the country. Women's Aid and Citizens Advice would be a good place to start for this I would have thought. You may need to pay to see a solicitor to ensure you have the correct steps in place to ensure your child stays with you.

PinkyFlamingo · 22/05/2024 11:06

Domino34 · 21/05/2024 23:01

Yes, I have a voicemail on my phone where she says she has been busy today, working at a locus elsewhere, saying it’s doctor *. I have evidence in the form of a text also. I might be mixing the two up. I thought I was speaking to a therapist registered with the NHS.

The NHS don't register therapists, they employ them. I work in an NHS psychotherapy dept and we are a mixture of psychiatrists, doctors in training, nurses and adult psychotherapists.

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 22/05/2024 11:08

ThIs sounds like exactly what happened to a celebrity. I’m trying to think who the woman was 🤔

Elleherd · 22/05/2024 11:13

Going out on a limb here, but IMO forget her legality or not. She's not who you should be worrying about, even though she was prepared to assist him.
You need to talk to the police. I've twice met men (one = ExH) who went to the lengths of setting up situations using others to knowingly lie, entrap, and help them manipulate their target.
Try and step back and think about this in terms of what is 'normal' in shitty behavior vs what is really unusual.

People who do this don't worry about the risks of getting caught, or the people they are using turning against them and turning them in. Why not?
Because: they believe they will be able to control them too, and that the people they use are disposable. (in ExH's case, literally)
It's not 'normal shitty behavior', it's another level and a warning sign.

The two I've come across were very different types, but what they had in common was superficially charming, positions that gave power, and people around them missing, and many women had allegedly used and betrayed them. Both operated publicly and dangerously in terms of potential of being caught.

Both went from more 'minor' (ie nasty but not clearly illegal) set ups, to very serious behaviors including kidnap, and arson in order to maintain control and/or cover other lower crimes. You wouldn't have guessed looking at them.
It takes a level of ego, entitlement, and an underlying belief that they are smarter than others around them to manipulate using others on a organized level.

They are quite simply dangerous, especially when they are bolstered by getting away with it, either through malice, or the lengths they will go to to cover up.
My experience is they will play the long game returning again and again, sometimes with many years in between because they are rotating what they are doing to who, and finding others (often vulnerable and lonely who look up to them) to bring into their schemes. They can return when children are older.

The worst is when they finally get spotted doing something serious enough, it turns out that there are serial victims.
They were manipulated, left confused, embarrassed, not taken seriously, and blaming themselves for not seeing it earlier, and stayed quiet. Sometimes they had been dragged into doing things to others themselves and afraid of what they did. I'm mortified that I could have been targeted twice, but the reality is they know who'll make good prey, less likely to go to the police, or be believed.

It may be that your H had just started down this road, and has scarpered when busted. But I'd put a high likelihood that he will do this again, be it with you or another, and next time it will be done better, because he will have learnt.

I don't mean to scare you and would like to be wrong, but prepared to be called whatever by everyone, to raise it.

Please, secure your rights with your child and take this to the police, because while you may get nothing out of doing it now, it may protect you and others later. This kind of behavior is way beyond normal and nearly always ramps up.

PinkyFlamingo · 22/05/2024 11:18

Just caught up with thread, you need help now because I would suspect your DH has paid this woman to get information out of you that he could use against you in a custody battle.

MILLYmo0se · 22/05/2024 12:35

BobbyBiscuits · 22/05/2024 09:13

A psychotherapist is not a doctor and does not pretend to be one. A psychiatrist is a doctor.
Why does a therapist need to be a doctor, they are not prescribing medication?
I think you've got the wrong end of the stick there.

The woman isn't any kind of a medical person at all, just pretending to be one

notanotherrokabag · 22/05/2024 12:51

Psychotherapists usually have a PhD so she'll be dr Smith on that basis, not a medical dr

SpringerFall · 22/05/2024 12:54

MILLYmo0se · 22/05/2024 12:35

The woman isn't any kind of a medical person at all, just pretending to be one

According to the op that is

drspouse · 22/05/2024 12:57

I have a PhD and call myself Dr Lastname in some non work situations (bank, GPs). It's not fraud. Clinical and educational psychologists both generally have a PhD or a doctorate in psychology.

HMW1906 · 22/05/2024 13:00

Psychotherapists don’t need to be doctors.

Anyone with a PhD can call themselves doctor so although she may not be a medical doctor she may have a PhD which means she is well within her rights to call herself doctor.

You should’ve done your research about her before starting seeing her especially if paying private.

Jeannne92 · 22/05/2024 13:04

A psychotherapist or psychologist is not a medical doctor.

If you feel your psychotherapist is not helping you, like any other HCP, be they a doctor, nurse, physiotherapist, etc., you can ask to change.

A psychiatrist is a medical doctor, but does a different job to a psychotherapist; one is not 'better' than the other.

You seem unhappy or worried, OP, what is causing that?

Frogandfish · 22/05/2024 13:31

OP I would write out the full sequence of events, what you know about the woman, any dates of 'consultations' and now your husband's new threats. I think you then need to phone the police then women's aid. The woman may be guilty of fraud if she's pretending to be a healthcare professional, I'm not sure, but the main issue is your husband. Police first rather than citizens advice if he is willing to go to these abusive lengths.

Frogandfish · 22/05/2024 13:31

Jeannne92 · 22/05/2024 13:04

A psychotherapist or psychologist is not a medical doctor.

If you feel your psychotherapist is not helping you, like any other HCP, be they a doctor, nurse, physiotherapist, etc., you can ask to change.

A psychiatrist is a medical doctor, but does a different job to a psychotherapist; one is not 'better' than the other.

You seem unhappy or worried, OP, what is causing that?

Try 'see all'

BobbyBiscuits · 22/05/2024 13:41

@MILLYmo0se yeah, I see that now. It all seems deeply bizarre.

Elleherd · 22/05/2024 13:50

I understand why you are scared to go to the police. You're unsure of what's reality, you're scared of not being believed, & concerned you'll sound unhinged.

So: you don't actually have any proof that they are the same woman, but you do have a fair bit to support the possibility, bizarre but possible.

You do know that your husband ordered that you should speak to a therapist if you didn't want a divorce.

You do know that the supposed therapist was then organized by your husband, and you have not seen anything to suggest they are who they say they are.

You do know the idea that they are a therapist has been established by him, and her use of a title and claiming to be working somewhere as a locum, and possibly by questions asked.
So you do know, that who she is supposed to be, comes only from verbal info from him or her.
This can be classic scam 'world building.'

You believe she fed info from your 'phone sessions' to him.

What you definitely do know is: unasked by you, your supposed therapist, pushed on to you and presented to you by your husband; very unusually and unprofessionally, personally offered to supervise your husband with your baby if you had reasons to be concerned about him taking her.

Can you imagine the insurance liability there..?

BusyMummy001 · 22/05/2024 15:53

Just to clarify - your husband has set you up to talk with a woman he claimed was a psychotherapist, who you now suspect is no such thing? You are suspicious because he has a photo on his phone? So… are you suggesting he has got a friend to pretend to be a therapist, perhaos to record you talking about him so that he can use this data against you in some way (divorce?) and that now you’ve found out, he’s done a bunk?

You should be able to do a search on the name she gave you - she should be registered with a psychotherpists body and/or have a professional website. If you cannot find her, she has committed fraud. She may not be guilty of impersonating a doctor, as she has only purported to be a psychotherapist (albeit with a ‘doctor’ qualification/prefix); your husband may be guilty of domestic abuse (coercive control/gaslighting) if he set this up, in which case you should possible speak to the police about both of them.

However, you need to be clearer than you have here as I am not entirely sure I have correctly understood your post/s.