Page 2 | ASD DD struggle with transition from home to school

MummyJ12 · 21/05/2024 11:26

Riversideandrelax · 21/05/2024 08:26

My DD is in Y7. She started at the school in November. We are having ongoing problems with her separating from me. She won't want me to go and will cling to me. I take her into reception and an LSA comes down for her. We did try taking her to the student entrance but we were blocking it. School are finding it difficult with her having meltdowns in reception too. This doesn't happen every day maybe 2-3/5.

They have phoned me this morning to say if she won't go in within 5 minutes then I'll have to 'take her away and come back later.' Her brother has taken her recently a few times and she has gone in not too bad (although one day she did cling to him.) But they could be more luck that those were mainly good days. The school are keen for her to bring her in more. But he is doing his exams (he's 17 in Y12.) so I don't really think this is fair. I don't really think this is going to solve the problem. She has been referred to the Ed Psych to see if they can help.

Any ideas or suggestions much appreciated.

I’m really sorry to read your post.
Rather than going in earlier, could your DD go in later everyday when the rush has calmed down maybe? She can register separately?
Do you have any support from CAMHS?
Schools are usually (IME) reluctant to go for an RSA - request for statutory assessment which is the start of the EHCP process through the school. It’s politically motivated and because of funding. We had to fight for DS’ school to go ahead and it was really needed. So sometimes it’s good to not take no for an answer but it depends on how much external support you have for DD as lots of evidence is now needed to be successful in getting an EHCP.

The EdPsych will hopefully help and not take long to support. It’s also good that the exit passes and access to the sensory area is already in place.

An early finish may also be a good idea to avoid the rush at the end of the day.

Original poster

Riversideandrelax · 21/05/2024 13:48

EliflurtleAndTheInfiniteMadness · 21/05/2024 09:49

Does she end up staying all day or coming home after meltdowns? My DD tends to mask in public so if I could get her into school she'd go into masking mode. Meltdowns were at home and on way to school. There was years of it, it saps you going through that, Id feel rung out by the time I got her to school, if I did. She had anxiety and ASD which feed into each other. She struggles with transitions, but then was also anxious she'd have no one to sit with at lunch time or that her stomach would hurt and she wouldn't be able to tell anyone because of her situational mutism, that I wouldn't be there to interpret for and support her, that she'd get in trouble and on and on. She'd also gets worried about transitions at school so days she knows she'll have different subjects and moving between rooms a lot she wants to go in even less. Do you know if the separation anxiety is solely about being away from you? Or like my DD could it be she's also worried that she won't be able to cope with something without you there or worried about things at school like transitions. If other things are adding into it, like transitions at school or worry she can't get help when she's overwhelmed, or not having somewhere quiet to go, then solving those issues could help reduce the struggle she has transitioning to school.

We did try a lot of other things first, but in the end what helped get her back to school was her being able to take a mobile phone she could access if needed during the day and knowing Id come and get her if things got too overwhelming. Along with therapy and medication for her anxiety.

She stays all day. 9/10 times comes out happy. No meltdowns in the evenings about school except sometimes over homework.

If we are having a difficult day I feel exhausted by the time I've got her in so I completely relate. DD has some anxieties around school but we seem to be making good progress with them except this issue. She had a lot of anxieties at the start but most have been dealt with. There are still some strategies that can be tweaked and improved. But the thing is her difficulties are always after being away from school, rather than depend on a particular day that something is happening. But yes, she does worry sometimes that she won't be able to communicate without me there. She's generally ok with this now, just P.E can be a problem as there is no LSA there.

I'm glad you found a way to help your DD.

OP posts:

Original poster

Riversideandrelax · 21/05/2024 13:55

Lilacdew · 21/05/2024 10:50

DS is ASD and suffers from anxiety. He is older than her now but some therapy he had really worked for him so I'll pass it on in case it helps.

Ask her how she'd like to feel about school, work through from completely confident and happy to create some stepping stones towards that and discuss how any movement forward, however tiny, is a massive win as it is a step in the right direction. Discuss targetting tiny steps each week towards her goal of feeling comfortable. It was really important for DS to understand that there is no magic switch that makes life easier. There are just increments of discomfort and unease that you work through until suddenly you look back and see how far you've come. So, even getting a bit further down the corridor would be a target, or trying a new self-soothing technique to see if it reduces the need for a meltdown release.

Some attitudes that helped him were:

It's fine to feel uncomfortable or anxious. This is a normal and healthy emotion that all people have. She might have more of it or more often or at different times from other people but that doesn't mean it is wrong or there is something wrong with her or it should be banished. Everyone feels anxiety - it is normal. Accept this. Get used to feeling uncomfortable. Don't judge yourself, just understand it is part of a process that she is working through.
Ask herself what would Non-anxious me do in this situation? If I wasn't anxious, how would I act right now. Do this. As far as you can, just do it. Even if it is just taking a step towards class. DS found this incredibly helpful. He'd just ask himself: if I weren't anxious now, what would I do? Then he just did it. Probably not always but often enough to push through.
Very important to congratulate herself mentally and reward herself for even a tiny breakthrough, to remind herself that she isn't forcing herself to do something she doesn't want to do, but she is training herself to cope with the discomfort that is part of pushing through to do something you do want to do.
Use this mantra - 'You can handle it' and get her to use it, 'I can handle it.' Tell her you know it is very difficult right now but you have full faith that she will find her way through it. Don't allow her to get stuck thinking she can't work through this.

IME of watching DS struggle and come through - it takes ASD children so much longer to learn how to cope with their intense emotions, their overstimulation, the bewildering complexity of social interaction. But if they take the time to learn it in a way that serves them (not masking for the sake of others, but skill building for their own sakes) that makes them very strong, resilient people. DS amazes me every day. He has no idea how amazing he is.

Thank you for the advice. I will definitely see if any of this can work with DD.

And huge congratulations to your DS 👏

OP posts:

Original poster

Riversideandrelax · 21/05/2024 13:59

Elisheva · 21/05/2024 10:55

My apologies, I didn’t mean that’s what you were doing, it’s what I see schools doing when they try to get anxious children to go in.

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Sorry, I was probably being a bit sensitive.

But no, school are actually very supportive. I'm not saying perfect, but actually the SENCO and LSAs are really good. They do listen to me.

I was just looking to see what worked for other people as I wasn't feeling well were making progress or that the new plan was helpful.

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theresapossuminthekitchen · 21/05/2024 14:04

Riversideandrelax · 21/05/2024 09:04

There is a small park opposite the school. We usually arrive early so could go in there for 10 minutes. I'll give that a go.

Show quote history

Definitely a good idea - my son doesn’t struggle as much as your daughter, but he finds that transition from home to school very stressful. He fully admits that’s it’s fine once he’s there. He finds it much easier on the day he has sport before school (even though it’s in the school grounds!) because he only thinks about that activity, not the whole day that comes after.

Original poster

Riversideandrelax · 21/05/2024 14:08

waterrat · 21/05/2024 11:01

sounds tough op. For my own child, once she is distressed about going in it's hard to overcome.

I think I would have to consider that there is a problem with school generally manifesting like this - has she ever had assessment by an OT? they can watch her in class and analyse her sensory issues etc. sorry if this is all totally not helpful - I know how tedious it is hearing the same advice over and over.

I know people keep saying about there being a problem with school generally, but she would say if there was, she wouldn't come out happy, she'd have meltdowns at home about it. She also doesn't engage in lessons if unhappy. I know the signs and believe me if there is something to moan about she will moan! 😂 She tells me she just finds it hard me leaving. She gets used to it then after not doing it (for the weekend or holiday) it gets harder again.

We are actually waiting for OT and Ed Psych assessment.

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Original poster

Riversideandrelax · 21/05/2024 14:23

Theothername · 21/05/2024 11:11

can you describe the transition op? (If you want)

Sometimes a small tweak can make a difference - her moving away from you vs you moving away from her. Or handing a transitional object (not necessarily a lovey/m but something like a hall pass or her school bag)to the LSA who then gives it to her.

Breaking the transition into smaller steps and adding a concrete element to each one can make it feel like there’s more control.

Would a timer help? so she knows how long she can hug you for and takes the uncertainty out of that.

For some dc, talking through their day (first period is Spanish, then Geography…) can be helpful. Especially if they’re carrying anxiety about forgetting books or homework. They get to the end of the list and know it’s all good.

Or having a chat about a special interest can shift the mental energy. I’ve often slipped a mistake or stupid question in with ds to elicit an (mildly) indignant lecture to distract him from an anxiety spiral.

I’m throwing out ideas at random but there might be something useful

So, we go into reception and I let them know DD is here. Then we sit down and wait for someone to come. When they come I say goodbye to DD and give her a hug and try to leave. At this point on a difficult day she will cling on to me. Sometimes I can gently talk to her and get her to let go. Other times I can get a bit cross because she is hurting me and will then try and remove her hands.

A strategy that worked for a while was getting her to hold her lanyard with her fidgets on so she wouldn't grab hold of me. So then I could stay calm and encourage her/support her to go in. But that's not working anymore. We tried meeting an LSA at the student entrance to eliminate the sitting in reception but they felt it was distressing her more and then it was happening in front of all the students.

I'll ask her if she wants to try a timer.

I pack her bag for her and closely monitor homework so she has no worries about books or homework. If there are any issues I tell the LSA and they sort it. But I find that in that moment talking about her day just overwhelms her more.

Chatting about a SI sounds good. I'll definitely try that tomorrow.

I appreciate the ideas, thank you.

OP posts:

Original poster

Riversideandrelax · 21/05/2024 14:34

MummyJ12 · 21/05/2024 11:26

I’m really sorry to read your post.
Rather than going in earlier, could your DD go in later everyday when the rush has calmed down maybe? She can register separately?
Do you have any support from CAMHS?
Schools are usually (IME) reluctant to go for an RSA - request for statutory assessment which is the start of the EHCP process through the school. It’s politically motivated and because of funding. We had to fight for DS’ school to go ahead and it was really needed. So sometimes it’s good to not take no for an answer but it depends on how much external support you have for DD as lots of evidence is now needed to be successful in getting an EHCP.

The EdPsych will hopefully help and not take long to support. It’s also good that the exit passes and access to the sensory area is already in place.

An early finish may also be a good idea to avoid the rush at the end of the day.

Show quote history

As we go in at reception there isn't a rush as the students go in a separate entrance. But they have said that they would rather her in late than not atall so not to worry about being late.

No support from CAMHS. Although there has been a referral for her anxiety - I need to look at her last report and see if that was CAMHS as I can't remember and chase it up.

Her school essentially said they didn't think she would be accepted for an EHCP as they will say the school is able to meet her needs. They said they would always put things in place for a DC EHCP or no EHCP. However, if I wanted them to start the process I would. I said I was happy to review a bit further along the line. I don't have any external help for DD.

Can anyone tell me what would be the benefit to DD of having an EHCP?

DD is allowed to come out of class 5 minutes early so she is one of the first out and generally comes out happy and is fine at the end of the day.

OP posts:

Original poster

Riversideandrelax · 21/05/2024 14:36

theresapossuminthekitchen · 21/05/2024 14:04

Definitely a good idea - my son doesn’t struggle as much as your daughter, but he finds that transition from home to school very stressful. He fully admits that’s it’s fine once he’s there. He finds it much easier on the day he has sport before school (even though it’s in the school grounds!) because he only thinks about that activity, not the whole day that comes after.

Show quote history

That's great that that helps your DS. Transitions can just be so hard for them!

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Pistachioicecream123 · 21/05/2024 14:44

I've had this issue albeit with a younger child. Its because of the extremeness of the transition so her safest place and person (you) directly into the most challenging place which is school, in my case I resolved it by taking him to a lovely childminder just up the road an hour before school where he plays with another child then they go to school together. Works a treat and worth every penny. Your girl is obviously 11/12 so the exact same thing won't be possible, but it's worth considering trying to find an interim activity and place to go pre school to soften the transition between supersafe and superchallenging, even arranging for an older teen you know to take her to Costa or something for 30 mins for a hot chocolate then walking together to school, obviously said buddy would need to be carefully chosen and bunged some pocket money. Sorry that's the closest appropriate thing I could think of that would work like my morning childminder technique.

Singleandproud · 21/05/2024 14:50

What do you have on after dropping her off? If you are going home can you make up an appointment you need to get to and be very breezy about it, reminding her as you walk that you are going to the hairdresser's / optician / get home for the window cleaner and then when she tries to cling to you remind her that you need to go.

It might not make a difference particularly if you already have an engagement to get too (work) but it might do

Original poster

Riversideandrelax · 21/05/2024 14:56

Pistachioicecream123 · 21/05/2024 14:44

I've had this issue albeit with a younger child. Its because of the extremeness of the transition so her safest place and person (you) directly into the most challenging place which is school, in my case I resolved it by taking him to a lovely childminder just up the road an hour before school where he plays with another child then they go to school together. Works a treat and worth every penny. Your girl is obviously 11/12 so the exact same thing won't be possible, but it's worth considering trying to find an interim activity and place to go pre school to soften the transition between supersafe and superchallenging, even arranging for an older teen you know to take her to Costa or something for 30 mins for a hot chocolate then walking together to school, obviously said buddy would need to be carefully chosen and bunged some pocket money. Sorry that's the closest appropriate thing I could think of that would work like my morning childminder technique.

Thank you. I'm hoping going to the park will help. I've not got anyone else that can take her apart from her brother but he has to get on to college afterwards so not very convenient for him. But thank you that's given me a few other ideas to soften the transition.

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Original poster

Riversideandrelax · 21/05/2024 14:58

No, unfortunately it doesn't matter how busy I am afterwards.

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RainbowZebraWarrior · 21/05/2024 15:03

Singleandproud · 21/05/2024 14:50

What do you have on after dropping her off? If you are going home can you make up an appointment you need to get to and be very breezy about it, reminding her as you walk that you are going to the hairdresser's / optician / get home for the window cleaner and then when she tries to cling to you remind her that you need to go.

It might not make a difference particularly if you already have an engagement to get too (work) but it might do

This actually made my DD worse as it ramped up the stress of it all.

OP, hopefully the Ed Psych can help. In the meantime, you have my sympathy. DD went through this for about six months (also diagnosed ASD and Anxiety)

She wouldn't allow anyone else to take her in, so it's always fallen to me. School Nurse was very helpful and she has a weekly meeting with her just to chat through her fears and anxieties (usually while making something crafty)

Original poster

Riversideandrelax · 21/05/2024 15:10

RainbowZebraWarrior · 21/05/2024 15:03

This actually made my DD worse as it ramped up the stress of it all.

OP, hopefully the Ed Psych can help. In the meantime, you have my sympathy. DD went through this for about six months (also diagnosed ASD and Anxiety)

She wouldn't allow anyone else to take her in, so it's always fallen to me. School Nurse was very helpful and she has a weekly meeting with her just to chat through her fears and anxieties (usually while making something crafty)

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Yes, exactly the same for my DD.

My DD used to see a play therapist at her Primary school which helped lots.

OP posts:

RainbowZebraWarrior · 21/05/2024 15:21

Riversideandrelax · 21/05/2024 15:10

Yes, exactly the same for my DD.

My DD used to see a play therapist at her Primary school which helped lots.

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Can she see the school nurse at her current school? They are brilliant. It's often something a lot of parents don't even realise is an option. I remember saying "I don't think the school has a nurse" when someone mentioned it to me. It's a local authority provision and the school nurses visit each school in turn, usually once a week.

DD has been seeing the school nurse for 3 years. At the height of her morning meltdowns, the school nurse managed to get to the bottom of it all, which was a fear of losing me. They gave her all sorts of coping mechanisms. To be honest, she doesn't remember most of them in the moment, but the weekly chat definitely helps. If nothing else, she feels heard and understood.

Original poster

Riversideandrelax · 21/05/2024 15:31

RainbowZebraWarrior · 21/05/2024 15:21

Can she see the school nurse at her current school? They are brilliant. It's often something a lot of parents don't even realise is an option. I remember saying "I don't think the school has a nurse" when someone mentioned it to me. It's a local authority provision and the school nurses visit each school in turn, usually once a week.

DD has been seeing the school nurse for 3 years. At the height of her morning meltdowns, the school nurse managed to get to the bottom of it all, which was a fear of losing me. They gave her all sorts of coping mechanisms. To be honest, she doesn't remember most of them in the moment, but the weekly chat definitely helps. If nothing else, she feels heard and understood.

Show quote history

I'll look into it. She did have some input from the School nurse at her Primary too.

OP posts:

Theothername · 21/05/2024 15:52

Riversideandrelax · 21/05/2024 14:23

So, we go into reception and I let them know DD is here. Then we sit down and wait for someone to come. When they come I say goodbye to DD and give her a hug and try to leave. At this point on a difficult day she will cling on to me. Sometimes I can gently talk to her and get her to let go. Other times I can get a bit cross because she is hurting me and will then try and remove her hands.

A strategy that worked for a while was getting her to hold her lanyard with her fidgets on so she wouldn't grab hold of me. So then I could stay calm and encourage her/support her to go in. But that's not working anymore. We tried meeting an LSA at the student entrance to eliminate the sitting in reception but they felt it was distressing her more and then it was happening in front of all the students.

I'll ask her if she wants to try a timer.

I pack her bag for her and closely monitor homework so she has no worries about books or homework. If there are any issues I tell the LSA and they sort it. But I find that in that moment talking about her day just overwhelms her more.

Chatting about a SI sounds good. I'll definitely try that tomorrow.

I appreciate the ideas, thank you.

Show quote history

Have you any idea of what might make for a difficult day, op? If you have an inkling it’s going to be one of those mornings, then would doing something completely different and maybe going in a bit later be an option?

The park is also a good idea to try though it may not be viable in bad weather. Depends how reliant on routine she tends to be.

Sometimes a verbal rehearsal can be effective - you describe what is going to happen on the way there- and then follow the steps you’ve described. It can create a pull to complete the sequence.

With my ds, who is a bit oppositional and has a strong sense of humour, I’d describe something ludicrous that definitely won’t happen (…”and then you’ll start dancing with the LSA” ) but it still causes him to imagine the actual sequence.

I wondered if starting the hug sooner might be an option? So that you’re voluntarily giving her the nice long cuddle rather than her dragging it out of you.

Do you, or does she, have a phrase or gesture when she’s walking away? Or are you always the one walking away?

It’s brilliant that you’re getting so much support from the school. And it’s good that you’re confident in how well you know your dd - and what won’t work, even if you’ve not quite hit on what will yet.

Sometimes the solution isn’t going to be a one and done - just something for now.

usernamebore · 21/05/2024 16:07

I know this may not be what you want to hear, and it may be that your kids is totally different to ours so this does not apply, but I wanted to just drop a different perspective in here.
We had a very similar situation to you with our DS. We ended up forcing him in every day for the whole of year 7. Yes he would usually come out in a good mood, yes it was the transition in the morning that seemed to be the big challenge, and yes things did seem to be improving in many ways as the year went on. However we eventually found out, after getting the ASD diagnosis in the summer of year 7, that he had just been masking like crazy. That the reason for the meltdown at the start of the day, and the fear at leaving us, was because he knew it meant he had to face a whole day alone in an environment he found terrifying and overwhelming due to his unmet needs and, in particular, his sensory issues. He ended up being so traumatised by the year of being forced to cope that he started self-harming and was so anxious he became a shell of his former self.
In the end we realised that a big, noisy, bustling school was just never going to work for someone with a profile like his and have withdrawn him. We are now doing online schooling from home with Minerva and it is going fantastically.
I guess I would just advise being cautious as ASD kids are expert maskers and it can be hard to see exactly where the real problem is. Autistic burnout is real thing, and we know kids who ended up being hospitalised because of it. Resilience building is all very well and good, but for ASD kids it sometimes just doesnt work. Similarly, if I am scared of dogs exposure can help reduce that fear, but if everytime I see a dog it bites me, repeated exposure is actually just going to make things worse.
I guess my question would be - why is the transition so hard for her? What is she leaving when she goes away from you, or what is she transitioning into, which is so scary? If she was leaving you to do something she was excited or happy about, would there be an issue? For our DS it was leaving the safety and support he had from us (understanding his needs etc) and being alone and unsupported in an overwhelming and unpredictable school environment.

Icedlatteplease · 21/05/2024 16:47

Can I add that although I have offered advice on managing transition, I agree with everything that has been said about school being a deeply uncomfortable situation for ND children.

Having my time again I wouldn't considered a school environment. I absolutely would have home schooled for secondary onwards.

Original poster

Riversideandrelax · 21/05/2024 20:32

Basically any day after a change of routine. So every Monday, doubly so if back after a holiday. If there has been a change in routine the night before so the day after parents evening for example.

I think the trouble with planning to be late every Monday and maybe Tuesday is it is probably just kicking the can down the road.

Hopefully the park should be ok for the rest of the term now. She is very reliant on routine so that is certainly a consideration. She will probably be ok for going in tomorrow but I want to get it in place ready for the extra tricky Monday back after half term.

Funnily enough I've just been having a joke with DD that when we get into school I'll start doing my 'mum dancing' and then she'll be so embarrassed she'll be happy to get away from me!

Yes, I definitely want to start the hug early. Because sadly sometimes I feel reluctant to hug her as it gives her the opportunity to take hold. I do still hug her but she can maybe feel a bit of reluctance. And that makes me sad.

I'm always the one walking away. Even on good days as it seems it is very much I have to leave before she can move on with her day. I always say 'have a good day, darling' even though sometimes I feel so cruel leaving her.

Yes, I know from my elder DC things are always going to evolve and change. But no matter how worn down I often get I will never stop advocating for my DD.

Thanks for thale advice - I appreciate it.

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Holesinmycheese · 21/05/2024 20:36

My DS (ASD) was also very unhappy going into school. Changing schools made all the difference, I’ve seen this with other children too.

Original poster

Riversideandrelax · 21/05/2024 20:46

usernamebore · 21/05/2024 16:07

I know this may not be what you want to hear, and it may be that your kids is totally different to ours so this does not apply, but I wanted to just drop a different perspective in here.
We had a very similar situation to you with our DS. We ended up forcing him in every day for the whole of year 7. Yes he would usually come out in a good mood, yes it was the transition in the morning that seemed to be the big challenge, and yes things did seem to be improving in many ways as the year went on. However we eventually found out, after getting the ASD diagnosis in the summer of year 7, that he had just been masking like crazy. That the reason for the meltdown at the start of the day, and the fear at leaving us, was because he knew it meant he had to face a whole day alone in an environment he found terrifying and overwhelming due to his unmet needs and, in particular, his sensory issues. He ended up being so traumatised by the year of being forced to cope that he started self-harming and was so anxious he became a shell of his former self.
In the end we realised that a big, noisy, bustling school was just never going to work for someone with a profile like his and have withdrawn him. We are now doing online schooling from home with Minerva and it is going fantastically.
I guess I would just advise being cautious as ASD kids are expert maskers and it can be hard to see exactly where the real problem is. Autistic burnout is real thing, and we know kids who ended up being hospitalised because of it. Resilience building is all very well and good, but for ASD kids it sometimes just doesnt work. Similarly, if I am scared of dogs exposure can help reduce that fear, but if everytime I see a dog it bites me, repeated exposure is actually just going to make things worse.
I guess my question would be - why is the transition so hard for her? What is she leaving when she goes away from you, or what is she transitioning into, which is so scary? If she was leaving you to do something she was excited or happy about, would there be an issue? For our DS it was leaving the safety and support he had from us (understanding his needs etc) and being alone and unsupported in an overwhelming and unpredictable school environment.

Edited

Yes, I understand where you are coming from. But it sounds like you weren't aware of your DS's unmet needs prior to the summer of Y7? It's different in our case because I am aware of her needs and ensure that they are met.

But that's wonderful that home ed is working for your DS. I did it with another of my ASD DC.

Transitions are often very difficult for people with ASD. It is just hard to move from one thing you are fully involved in to another, no matter how much you may like it. I mean obviously she is extremely attached to me. Home is her ultimate safety. But transitions can be difficult even if the thing we are moving to isn't scary. My DS for example would go berserk when we left friends houses to go home. Home wasn't scary - the transition was hard. And yes, the issue is there no matter how happy or excited she is about her day.

I'm sorry your DS didn't get the support he needed but as you say maybe a big school was never going to work and there isn't always a lot of choice. I was lucky in that I took it to appeal to get DD into a small Catholic school that due to the extra funding has excellent SEN support. I wish your DS well. My eldest who was home educated is doing T levels now at college.

OP posts:

Original poster

Riversideandrelax · 21/05/2024 20:50

Icedlatteplease · 21/05/2024 16:47

Can I add that although I have offered advice on managing transition, I agree with everything that has been said about school being a deeply uncomfortable situation for ND children.

Having my time again I wouldn't considered a school environment. I absolutely would have home schooled for secondary onwards.

I home educated my eldest ASD DC the whole way through. However, DD is very different and school suits her. I did briefly home educate her while I was waiting for my appeal for this school to go through and she hated it. I did choose both her schools very carefully, though.

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Nottherealslimshady · 21/05/2024 20:53

Based on what I do myself when transitioning from my car to a place. Csn you park up outside school. Set a ten/five minute timer and let her play on her/your phone or a game console or read a chapter of a book for a bit before you get out. Whatever she does to relax usually.

I don't know why but I always do that, like I need time to prepare for getting out the car like at the gym or supermarket or even at home. Au-DHD and anxiety here.