Micro-wedding + dream honeymoon over “normal” wedding

[groyard]

Just wanting to get some ideas really.

Recently became engaged. For various reasons fiancé and I don’t want a huge wedding. Fiancé grew up with a dad who had a gambling addiction so has a lot of trauma around money and hates to spend - he could never drop £30k on one day. Just not justifiable to him.

We will do a registry office followed by a posh meal (Michelin star?) for around 15 people.

I never got to travel at all due to caring responsibilities. If you were going to have a very extravagant honeymoon (6 weeks) where would you go? Would £20k for luxury-ish hotels even be enough for 6 weeks?

All I know is I want to hit Japan and the Maldives.

If you were doing similar what would be your once in a lifetime itinerary?

Not the same situation at all but my wedding cost £30 at a registry office with £10 rings. We were saving every penny for baby that was due so not spending on frivolous things. We have been married for almost 20 years and whilst all other big wedding marriages around us have fallen apart we are still stronger than ever. Build amazing memories for yourselves not for others! Xx

I don't really do beach breaks so I'd do an America trip. I've been to quite a few cities but I want to see Maine, Seattle, New Orleans, Colorado and Vegas.

I have no idea why but the US does nothing for me. Well maybe Hawaii.

I bought a world record map and nothing really jumps out at me.

Depends what you want from a holiday. We did exactly that, a small wedding with literally witnesses and immediate family and went to Japan for a month.

If I had that budget then you could do either very high end in a few countries or travel across many over a few months EASILY in Asia.

Thailand, Vietnam, Laos, Cambodia

Or Sri Lanka

Or tour around NZ

Northern Norway in summer is amazing, 24hr sunlight! In winter, Northern lights.

We did this, neither of us wanted a big wedding but love to travel.
on that budget you could do 3 weeks exploring Japan and a week in the Maldives.

I’ve been thinking of something similar but eloping in Finland in the snow and then adding the honeymoon on to it. The thought of spending 20k + on a venue for the day vs a holiday of a lifetime just isn’t comparable. I feel that a lot of people have big weddings for other people rather than for themselves

£20k would stretch a week in the Maldives for somewhere really special. But a lot further elsewhere!

I don’t understand why he wouldn’t want to pay for a £30 K wedding but would be OK with a £20K vacation??

I do. 30k is a ridiculous amount to spend on one day. 20k on a 6 week holiday of a lifetime (if 20k is affordable) is a wonderful idea.

Well it’s more that it’s one day vs 6 weeks (possibly more depending on budget). Fiancé and I comfortable but cosplaying as someone mega rich would be such a novelty.

What time of year are you going, OP?
You've picked two very expensive destinations if you want proper luxury. If you're willing to stay in places that aren't hugely high end then 20grand would get you an amazing 6 week break.

We are thinking early Summer next year. Possibly earlier for the Spring blossom festival - was hoping to surprise fiancé with tickets to the Japanese Grand Prix.

I think it's becoming more normal. It's such a huge amount of money for one day. Spend it on travel, pick a total bucket list destination. My bucket list destination is Japan

Definitely spend less on your wedding day and more on your honeymoon.
Keeping the day small and intimate is a great idea.
Where to go depends on the time of year that you’re planning on going I’d say. Places like the Maldives and Mauritius are better in the winter for example.

Sounds amazing and not far off our wedding (7 guests and then a month in Australia, although with a smaller budget).

https://www.trailfinders.com/

You could speak with this (very helpful) company and see what they suggest?

One thing to consider, maybe, is that the Japanese REALLY aren't fans of PDA. Not sure if that's really conductive to honeymoon atmosphere. Also £30k won't go very far in Japan's golden belt (touristy area), while non-touristy areas will result in quite a few stares, finger-pointing and "gaijin" utterances.

We did similar 10 years ago and had a party when we got back. Wouldn't do things differently now.

Oh, and another thing, Japan in summer is a total sauna. Also, Tokyo, while looking pristine, operates on a VERY old sewage system and boy does it smell.

I think you should do whatever you like if you can afford it but don’t fall for this trauma-related aversion to spending money. If he’ll happily spend that amount of money on a holiday and Michelin starred restaurants, I think we can safely say he’s over that particular trauma.

We did Cambodia and Thailand and it was beautiful. 20k should be plenty for 6 weeks if you plan well (depending on where you go obviously)

Because it's not one day