Micro-wedding + dream honeymoon over “normal” wedding

[groyard]

Just wanting to get some ideas really.

Recently became engaged. For various reasons fiancé and I don’t want a huge wedding. Fiancé grew up with a dad who had a gambling addiction so has a lot of trauma around money and hates to spend - he could never drop £30k on one day. Just not justifiable to him.

We will do a registry office followed by a posh meal (Michelin star?) for around 15 people.

I never got to travel at all due to caring responsibilities. If you were going to have a very extravagant honeymoon (6 weeks) where would you go? Would £20k for luxury-ish hotels even be enough for 6 weeks?

All I know is I want to hit Japan and the Maldives.

If you were doing similar what would be your once in a lifetime itinerary?

Random thoughts.

Do you live together? Have you ever spent more than a week living together?

I would hesitate to embark on a 6 week holiday without knowing my travel buddy well.

The Maldives is a bit niche for somebody who never thought they would love it. Japan....ditto. Do you want to dive, cook, tour. The hotel islands of the Islands could easily eat up the budget.

As with all things, it depends on what you want to do and what time of year you want to do it.

Presumably you both have jobs to go to. Maybe up the budget and go to 2x 10 day holidays.

If you decide to have a lengthy honeymoon, do get a travel-agent to "package it", so they can fix things if it goes wrong.

On that budget for 6 weeks you will find you can only achieve more luxury hotels by avoiding higher cost countries or only for a few days. Personally I'd look at se Asia, Sri Lanka perhaps as your money will stretch to better hotels - for example my dps company owns hotels in Sri Lanka and the Maldives, it's £130 in Sri Lanka and £900 in the Maldives, both 5 star. You can also public transport or a car and driver in Sri Lanka whereas seaplanes and boats are £££.

All depends on priorities. I would watch race across the world on currently for a bit of inspiration

A Michelin star meal for 15 people and wine/drinks would actually cost as much as many non-micro weddings.

Japan is gorgeous and 30k will go far depending on how you travel (though clearly not as far as some SEAsian choices) Even in non touristy places people are generally very polite if not effusively friendly.

I second this, we booked our honeymoon through them and they were brilliant. We went west, not east, but we spent almost half your budget on a two week trip in fairly basic accommodation (flights, hotel, transfers and a couple of tours), plus another fair few thousand on spending money. I've never been to Asia so if PPs say it's possible it probably is, but I doubt you could do luxury + the locations you've chosen + a six week trip. Trailfinders will be able to talk you through your options and work out what's realistic. We found them fairly priced too, I couldn't have priced the trip up cheaper myself.

ETA - I was also wondering about the cost of Michelin star and registry office, you'd probably be around 5k and a lot of the budget weddings for 50-80 guests cost around that (plus outfit etc but you'd need to sort that anyway).

Another one who thought you will spend a lot on Michelin star meal and drinks for 15, maybe not as much as a full rigmarole . Would you jettison rings and photographer? What about a dress? It cam quickly add up.

Your budget isn't really enough for luxury in Japan and Maldives. I looked at 3 week Break in Japan but with kids around the cherry blossom season and it was £20k.

Oh scrap that then. As you can tell I have done very little research. I asked a friend who hired a private room for her engagement meal at a Michelin restaurant (London) and she was almost certain her parents paid £60 per head. She’s checking for me.

Will have to research nice-ish places, not fussed about the Michelin stars but would like to treat the family. I am going to be borrowing my cousin’s registry dress so saving there.

I would feel the same as your fiancé. We spent £50 on the cheapest registry office service with only parents there, followed by a nice steak dinner with close family. Rings both plain silver from Cash Converters and we wore clothes we already had! We also had a fairly low key European honeymoon - at the time we were quite worried about finances as i was between jobs but even if we'd had the money I wouldn't have wanted to spend £££££ on one day - I've never been that person who's dreamed of their perfect wedding since they were a little girl.

Holidays however, I will absolutely spend on! Now we're more comfortable financially we have regular breaks, and spent 12k last year for a dream holiday (safari followed by luxury all inclusive spa resort on the beach) as a joint treat for our 5th anniversary and DH's milestone birthday.

I think, honestly, you'd struggle to get 'luxury' with multiple (expensive!) destinations and flights for six weeks. I would be tempted to go a bit cheaper for the first five weeks (and maybe combine Japan and the Maldives with somewhere a bit cheaper for in-country travel, activities/tours and accommodation - maybe India/ Sri Lanka/ Indonesia/ Philippines/ Thailand?) and then go full luxury for the last week. That's basically what we did - the safari, while amazing, was in a mix of tents and basic hotels and it was amazing to have those few days being pampered and eating amazing food in a gorgeous location and fully relax before going back to the grindstone!

£60 per head? Are they not getting drinks with that?

Why not keep the whole lot cheap if that's what you're more comfortable with. A really nice meal after the wedding and then some European travel. You could see so much with 10k and 6 weeks

Watch the current race around the world - they start in Japan and cover SEA. I would sack of the Maldives unless you plan on diving. And even then, Vietnam and Thailand are great for diving.

Another vote for Vietnam - hands down the best travelling experience ever. Look online at Ha Long Bay - so beautiful and romantic - although I am not romantic in the least. The Maldives does nothing for me though as I like to be active and see architecture, different areas etc. and I imagine (could be wrong) that the Maldives is a lot of lying around looking at the same ish views).

For luxury - Singapore is awesome and also has the Grand Prix. I’ve not been to Japan but would like to go.

Good luck @groyard - I think you are totally doing the right thing!

We did 19 nights in Japan /china/ Hong Kong and it was £10k. That was for return flight premium economy and most hotels around £200per night -nice business ones.

So 6 weeks would be around £17k? (No more flights)

But I assume for luxury you'd want nicer hotels and flights that were better. So £25k to £30k

Sorry can't help too much with destinations as we'd do a US road trip, but just want to say I think it's an awesome idea and I wish we had done the same.

I would do 3/4 weeks traveling round Thailand, Vietnam, Cambodia, then 1 week in Japan finishing off in the Maldives.
Look at Luxury Escapes - some great deals there.

£60 per head?! Be realistic, you'd practically hit that in a shopping centre Tony Macaronis for three courses and a couple of glasses of wine! It sounds like you need to do a load more research OP, although I appreciate you're probably just using this as a sounding board. And I know fiancé wants a small wedding, are you sure that's what you want?

Yes, agreed.

I’d swap the Michelin meal for a decent country pub meal in a private room.

I loved Sri Lanka for a real mix of incredible temples, tea plantation walks, jungle, safari and beautiful beaches. I went pre-covid so prices may vary but got lovely rooms for £30 a night, and fine for £15. Mama-run cafes were incredible - the best meal we had was at a basic cafe doing a £2 meal - much better than where we’d spent £10. Prices did not seem to equate to quality!

I would expect to spend £250 per head in a Michelin star restaurant, especially if you want a private room rather than sitting in the main dining space!

We did 1 week Maldives and 5 days Dubai for our honeymoon in 2022 in above average but not super luxury hotels and it cost £12k, including spending money in Dubai.

I think you need to drop the Maldives, particularly if early summer is important to you- we got married in February (excellent way to save money btw, it was 1/3 of the price of the same venue and event in May)- it will eat your budget and you may get stormy weather! How about Japan/SE Asia and finishing up on the beach in Bali?

Congratulations!
Have your wedding and your honeymoon the way that you and your fiancé want.

(A Michelin star meal for 15 people sounds expensive in itself, though!)

This sounds like a good plan, and you'll get a lot more for your money in SEA! I learnt to scuba dive on one of the Thai islands (Koh Lanta) and it was honestly amazing. If you cut out the Maldives that would save you a fair amount in order to see and experience far more elsewhere, and while the Maldives do look out of this world some of the beaches around SEA are truly stunning too.

Michelin star restaurant could work if you all have the set lunch menu - 3 courses for £50 and several bottles of wine. Years ago when dd was born we decided not to have her christened but still wanted a party. I booked out a local restaurant (which had a star) and paid for 60 friends and family to come celebrate. I think the bill for lunch and drinks was around £2.5k.

For your holiday I'd suggest going to a travel agent. You could do safari in Africa and a week in maldives, or south east asia (Thailand/Cambodia/Laos/Vietnam), ir maybe central & south america.

£20k isn’t getting Japan and the Maldives I’m afraid.

You can easily spend £20k on either of those destinations on their own for 2 weeks.

Thailand/vietnam etc is completely doable for 6 weeks. I’ve got multiple honeymoon clients that are doing 3 weeks and it’s £8k, all 5* hotels, some trips included. Economy flights though in case that’s a consideration.

You can twin Thailand and the Maldives so that’s possible on £20k.

I'd go for Seychelles and Bird Island ( two centre )
Mauritius
One of the more exclusive Maldivian islands

Why not?

We spent £25k on our wedding and I feel embarrassed even typing it.

We should’ve just done exactly what OP is doing and bought ourselves a once in a lifetime trip (or trips).

I don’t know what possessed us to spend that kind of money on a wedding.

My dream destination would be Costa Rica but that doesn't seem to be en route for you!

I've not seen any Michelin star places doing 3 courses for £50 quid! I don't think I would do it anyway. It really isn't everyone's cup of tea and I'm sure you'd end up spending an absolute fortune and have half the people moaning about something or other.

You may find a Michelin star mid week set lunch for around that price but you’re looking more like £200+ for weekend evening. Then add drinks to it (a bottle of water is close to £10).