To ask - if you had to try and make £1million in two years how you’d do it? A

[Whoisthewalrus]

If you had to start from a minimal amount (let’s say £1000), how would you go about it?

Crypto. Long shot obvs.Buy some Meme coins like Pepe and his mate Brett etc, hope one of them does a 100x and roll the profits into a few more and try and get a 10 or 20x before bull run ends in mid 2025. It happened last bull run with Doge coin and Shiba inu. I would give it a 1% chance but better than buying a lottery ticket for 3 years.

I'd start selling my services to men who like hugely fat women to sit on them.

Yes.
That's a thing, apparently.
And I'm told it pays well.
I'm happy to beat them up too if that would pay extra.

It feels like the sort of work I wouldn't even have to get washed and dressed for so it appeals to my lazy side.

Yeah feet pics I think.
Mine are a bit manky but the £1000 can go towards making them look a bit better.

Set up a meth lab like that nice teacher on Breaking Bad. I didn't watch all the episodes, but I'm sure it all worked out very well for him.

Gambling. Something like sequential laying.

You have to make an average of £1300/day, so it would be a fair amount of work if you wanted to divide the risk up.

I make £300-500 pm doing match betting and various low risk techniques.

Professional gamblers don't gamble. They very boringly ride out the mathematics.

I've just hit £750k in 18 months, started with £500 buying a pallet of something, turned that into £3k, the next haul turned into £7k and suddenly I couldn't keep up! Hired a couple of people so have a small team now helping.

£1000 worth of euro millions tickets?

Tell us more...

If you are actually interested, instead of just fishing for comedy answers...

It be good to know what the rules are. For example, you have your £1k - are you able/allowed to access leverage (such as credit card or other borrowing). Assuming you have another income to support yourself while this plot is going on?

Here's the beginning of my cunning plan.

1. Work on increasing your seed capital. Use your £ to carefully do matched betting. Also side-hustle to grow your pot (uber, amazon deliveries, babysitting, tesco late night shift, dropshipping). Go all in - after all this is only a two year experiment.
2. A series of well planned trades using your (growing) stake-pot. Look for undervalued whatever. Sell it for more. At least doubling your stake each time. Even better if you can add value to it with processing or restoring or repackaging. Not enough time for stock market imo and crypto not stable enough. Something you have a bit of knowledge of. I have seen someone bulk buy those daft red cups from American television, repackage in smaller lots and sell for stupid money. Anyone could do it. You need the idea but more importantly you need to have the upfront cash and (more rare) the drive to actually do it.

So easy to buy a lottery ticket and wait for money to fall from the sky. Go to it - even if you fall short of a million, you will probably be better off regardless.

You could buy an x box and enter all the e-sports prize tournaments. Get good sponsorship deals.

Buy a good camera and sell mucky pics on only fans.

Buy a ticket to Japan and become a high end escort.

Buy some art lessons and become a forger.

Sell plots of land on the moon or the planets or sell stars to people willing to fork over £25 a go for a big bit of nothing.

I actually knew how to make a million quid out of a grand, I would a) have done it and b) be making a few more millions selling the secret

None of things would make you a million. You'd have to be an INCREDIBLE gamer to make any money at all out of entering e-sports competitions, let alone a million.

I fell at the first hurdle. I couldn't have a Tory MP mate. I'm destined to be skint forever.

Gambling or matched betting. I would actually learn all about it and do that.

Sell used shoes, apparently theres a market online, there was a poster here who did this. After a while she had people asking for her to use say Nike trainers with no socks and after x time wearing, she would sell them to him. It's a win win, I get to wear gorgeous shoes, they get their fetishy rocks off.

With a lot more seed money I would start up an internet business, one where the internet doesnt drop out every 30 seconds, and people me will no longer want to lob our phones out the window because of just how bad the internet is.

Would this work for the slightly overweight, or do I have to start scoffing more pizza and cheesecake?
Tbf I don't mind doing that part 🤣

🤣 you need to have buttocks in adjacent postcodes in order to make the big bucks so best start on the Ben & jerrys

🤣🤣🤣

Watch Sue Perkins double the money or the Apprentice for inspiration.

I think I would focus on events. You need an idea that people will pay through the nose for.

Let's say a "wizard" themed Thames Cruise with food, a drink and kids wizard themed disco/party games.

Then find someone who has the equipment needed to fulfill your event - in this case a Thames Cruiser boat that does dining and negotiate to put on the event for 40% of ticket sales cash.

Plan and market your first event to prove the concept (selling tickets in advance so no danger you will be left high and dry) with a view to building up to daily events/twice daily /three times daily events + when your first event proves a roaring success.

Let's say an average ticket is £100 (parents more, kids less) and you build up to 60 covers each day (3 lots of 20) you are taking 40% so £2,400 each day as your share.

This doesn't take account of the fact that you need to live or commute somewhere super busy which will cost you £££ and be willing to work super hard

Also that the owner of a Thames Cruiser might tell me I have no idea how much money they already take daily and that this is not feasible as they would earn less(?) Research needed.

...not for me so I'll never be a millionaire!

...Starts daydreaming about lemon pies and doughnuts and giant toblerones...
I know where my £1000 is going 🤣

Anyone could do it. You need the idea but more importantly you need to have the upfront cash and (more rare) the drive to actually do it.

This is why "if it were that easy, everyone would do it" is both true and bollocks at the same time.

Almost everyone is smart enough to double a number. Almost everyone is physically and mentally capable of doing the work.

But having the guts to decide to go for it and the energy to carry it out is very rare, and nothing to do with academic smarts

I've always said that my husband is the one who'd end up with a six figure salary, I'm the one who could grift their way to a million.

Bearing out this far, though my target is a million in five years.

Some people have become millionaires this way. Not saying I could do it, but the prize funds are there!

www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/technology-49143447

Use £500 to get products made in China. Sell on web platforms so that the products a shipped directly to customer from the factory. The part that makes you money is marketing. You can learn this free on how to get your product advert to be on the top 5 results on Amazon etc. I did this when I was in school nd was making 1k a week. I was 14 years old then in 2000.

Or invest 1K in British Aerospeace Ltd. They produce equipment for military. The company is going up in value now because of worldwide conflicts. Share returns would not reach millions, but would be high.

3rd option- buy gold and sell it again next year. It makes more money than interest in savings. 1K in gold would likely to make £500 a year on.

I could liquidate assets and have a million but it won’t get me very far.

Start selling a bogus affiliate marketing course to chumps on social media.

Blackmail, whatever threat seems appropriate, I'm sure I could think of something

Plus given the usual contents of a bank vault, I wouldn't mind splitting it, think of the £1000 as a deposit