Is the “stress” of owning a dog worth it?

[Supernova23]

Life long dog owner. Historically a multi dog owner but my current pooch wouldn’t tolerate a newby, so just have the one.

I’ve had dogs at various ends of the spectrum from extremely friendly to all and sundry, to not particularly friendly apart from a select few.

Dog walking is now like an Olympic sport. Your mission is to avoid other dogs if your dog is overly friendly or reactive, as you don’t want to upset other dog owners. You also have to avoid bikes/runners/livestock and make sure you are following the exact right of way as you wouldn’t wish to upset any farmers.

The absolute look of horror now if a dog behaves like a dog. If you have your dog off the lead someone will accuse you of having it out of control. If your dog barks it’s out of control. If it does something “wrong” you haven’t trained it. Basically you never win. My mum actually goes for walks without her dog now if she wants a relaxing walk LOL. We have far too many people and dogs on this little island now.

The leeway you get if you own particular breeds. Cockerpoo or Labrador or “nice breed” barks at something, that’s cute. Bull breed barks at something, it’s the devil incarnate.

Then the responsibility side. It’s like having a child in that you can’t do anything spontaneously. Weekend away last minute? Nope, the dog. Work needs doing on the house? What about the dog? Shifts at work….revolve around the dog. Night out? Nope, the dog. If the dog barks more than twice, is it upsetting the neighbours? Holidays….the cost of kennelling the dog costs as much as the holiday.

Also the mess. Mine sheds profusely. It’s a constant battle keeping on top of the hair and grime. My walls are black from the mud in the winter. The smell in the garden from the urine which can be really hard to keep on top of.

I adore my dog but after she goes, I think she will be my last. I just feel like dog ownership has changed so much in the last 20 years or so. It’s like they have replaced children and a lot of dog owners are completely bonkers and forgot they have a massive predator with instincts at the end of a lead. Anyway, anyone else feel the same?

I’ve never had a problem with anything you’ve listed. My dogs aren’t perfect but I’ve never been accused of them being out of control as they’re always in control. But then, we’re rural, so we don’t often do ‘walks’.
I agree with the responsibility side. Planning a holiday costs a fortune in house sitting for me.

I'd love another dog but I don't think the stress is worth it. I've had dogs previously that I struggled to cope with when they died. I feel sad I won't have another dog, I don't think but my mental health is more important than worrying about them barking or being unhappy if I leave the house and then when they come to the end it's too much. I have other pets I adore but I won't feel AS decimated when they go.

I agree. We have just lost our beautiful elderly cockapoo suddenly and have one other dog but especially with two it was stressful. My older dog did have this habit of running up to other dogs and giving a little friendly growl but people would often interpret that as nastiness.
I think after my seven year old has gone we want to do some travelling and have the freedom we don't currently have. He has separation anxiety and I won't leave him with anyone apart from family, he goes almost everywhere with us. I worry about him when I am at work especially now we have lost the other dog, we don't go out in the evenings after work because it wouldn't be fair to leave him when he's been on his own for some time in the day.
However on a positive note I do think owning a dog gets you out. we need to go for two decent walks a day and meet lots of lovely people and have experiences we wouldn't otherwise have. We have been on a lovely early morning walk today and an elderly guy pointed out some tawney owl chicks which we stopped to admire and enjoy. I ahve made friends through dog walking and it does my mental health loads of good to get out even when I don't feel like it.
I can't imagine not having a dog in the longer term.

I wouldn’t want to live a life without a dog in it or to live in a world without dogs. The pros far outweigh the cons and having a dog is part of who I am.

As a fellow lifelong dog owner I suspect you may think differently when you become dog-less - don’t underestimate the hole they leave.

I don’t find my dog remotely stressful aside from his health concerns . I’m a responsible dog owner with a well trained , well behaved dog and sharing a house / life with him is an absolute privilege.

Lucky for me I don't live in an overcrowded area so don't have most of these problems. Our dog is a rescue and he very rarely barks or growls so no issues there. I can't let him off the lead at all in public as he has no recall (he understands when I call him but regards it as a request he may or may not comply with). He's way too old for intensive training and is otherwise impeccably behaved.
It's a shame some places have become overrun with dogs, cats and too many people.

For me the stress is outweighed by the reward. Mine bark, dogs do. I tell them to shut up and they mostly do. Usually my dogs are set off by a sudden sound I.e next doors kid squealing like a pig so often I just think don’t dare have a problem with my dog when your kid is squealing. Equal levels of annoyance!

the stress I have with dog ownership is the worries and utter devastation watching them age finding a bump and think oh shit what is that. The stress of an unexpected vet bill.

the love I have for them though is totally worth it. I know my dogs inside out. I know they have teeth and I know their triggers. They’re part of my life I just know them so well that living with them is the easiest thing.

we’re all currently laying in the garden in the sun together until they get too hot and find some shade.

I think when that unfortunate day comes I’d do it again, I don’t know when or how soon but I know my heart, home and arms would be empty and I’d want a dog around.

I do pet sitting and love spending a week or two with a dog, but much as they are lovely, it always reminds me exactly why I don't want another one of my own.

I've not found the problems you list when walking, but then I've always been in rural areas where dogs are still dogs and not substitute children.

I couldn't be fagged with the not leaving home for more than four hours, doggy smelly indoors (jesus dog breath and dog farts), dealing with muddy/wet dogs while trying to protect the carpets on a permanent basis now. Pet sitting is like having grandchildren - you can love them and have a wonderful time, but it's great to hand them back and return to normality.

No. But then, I live on a farm, have a non-shedding breed, and family who are glad to help out when I need dog-sitting.

If your lifestyle doesn’t suit a dog, then of course it’s stressful to have a dog. If it does, then it’s really not hard.

It depends on how much you value spontaneity I guess. If you love dogs and are settled and happy with having to plan and organise your life to some extent it’s probably a no brainer. If you like to be able to take off for a weekend away at short notice it is not going to work.

I like dogs and would like one but I am scarred by my mum’s experience as a dog owner. My dad nagged her for years to get a dog and promised he would walk them before landing a job which required him to be out of the house for 15 hours a day and no prizes for guessing who got stuck with the walking.

Its a commitment and you have really got to want it. Cats are about as much commitment as I can deal with.

I don't find owning a dog stressful unless he's unwell and needs the vet - and that's more because of the cost than anything else.

Yes, he barks sometimes and yes, he can still pull on the lead at six years old, but honestly, that stuff pales into comparison against the huge benefits.

We had our dog for 14 years. He died four years ago and we still miss him, rarely a day goes by when we don't talk about him.

What stops us getting another isn't the stress but the tie; being limited where we can go by whether it's dog-friendly, if it isn't being very limited by how long we could leave a dog alone for.

It sounds terrible as we really were grief stricken when our dog died, but there was a sudden sense of freedom as well and I am not sure I would want to go back to being tied down. Also, our doggie was well-behaved, easy-going and friendly, we could take him anywhere within reason, he was great with the cats, and he was fine to be left alone for a few hours - we couldn't bank on another dog having the same easy temperament.

This is why I have a cat.

We just lost our elderly dog suddenly and the shock and grief has been awful. it worries me to go through it again every 10-12 years.
As I get older I will also worry about what happens if I suddenly become ill, can't walk the dog or worse still die. One of our friends went from fit and healthy with three active dogs who he was home with all day to dead. his family now have the agonizing decision of what to do with the dogs as they work long hours and the dogs are used to someone being there all the time. It is heartbreaking . This kind of thing worries me. I think as I go into retirement if I have a dog I will have to have reassurance from family that the dog would be taken care of if anything happened to me and that really is a big ask.

Semi-rural here . One complaint from a neighbour other than that never a problem and we have 3 large breeds. Yes I do have to do a quick whip around with the stick vacuum most mornings to get rid of the fur. They all sleep in our bedroom too! Only one on the bed though. She snores which is a bit annoying, the other two you wouldn't know they were there, so quiet. Will be lost without them. They eat a lot!!!

'My older dog did have this habit of running up to other dogs and giving a little friendly growl but people would often interpret that as nastiness.'

Well, understandably so! No one knows what is a friendly growl on an aggressive growl tbf.

People are just much less tolerant of feckless owners. Dogs should be on their leads in public places and only off lead if their recall is reliable.

We've always had dogs. The shedding is annoying but that isn't a new thing, nor is wee in the garden. Don't you just have a watering can handy to rinse? Stops the smell and also protects the grass.

If people are responsible and cba to train and be consistent they are worth it imo.

I don't think dogs should be in cafes or shops wtf is that all about?

We're rural but have just had a housing estate added to the village of 85 houses which has effectively doubled the population. And every house appears to have a lockdown cockapoo or equally untrained bad mannered dog so our walks are becoming a daily nightmare. I've got 2 mostly well trained and behaved spaniels who come when called but the male dog has now been attacked 3 times - his crime? not being neutered because he's never showed any signs of aggression/sexual behaviour.

Yesterday he was pinned to the floor by a "oh don't worry, he's really friendly" rhodesian ridgeback. Truthfully I'm bloody sick of other dog owners. And am seriously questioning whether or not I will replace either when something happens to them if we're still living here.

I hear you! I’m still relatively young and I know all things said you never know but I have a pact with my friend that if anything happens to her I will have her kids and anything me, she will have my dogs. Being 30’s my ill health isn’t a factor to my dog ownership but can imagine as the years tick by this would be a consideration I’d make. Truthfully I wish my dogs would stay with me until my last day and I can’t even talk about them not being around. They are my entire world and they have saved me in dark times. I’ve had to get up for them, to feed them, walk them etc. if they weren’t around it would have been easier for me not to be. I owe my dogs my life. Many people don’t understand and say “it’s just a dog” there is no just anything about my dogs

None of those issues would put me off, and we live near a huge park where lots of dogs are often off lead.,
We’ve had dogs and have really loved them, but the reason we no longer have one is that you can’t spontaneously decide to go out for the day, or even half a day, unless you can take the dog - let alone go away on spec for a few days unless you can take it. We have nobody we could ask to dog sit.

Kennels around here tend to be booked up very early and are of course very expensive. When DDs were at school and we used to book holidays/kennels very early anyway, it worked well with the dog, but sadly no longer.

I’m on the fence, and I do resonate with a lot
of your post.

We live in an area where the number of dogs exploded during Covid and walks became more stressful.

We lost our wonderful boy at the end of last year and I still miss him and think of him every hour of the day. But I do feel guilty for saying it’s nice to have freedom to do things again without thinking about who will look after the dog. We don’t have DC, so we feel like we have a huge amount of freedom again.

Our boy was also a bull breed, and while he wasn’t an XL bully he was a larger dog, and very sadly we noticed an enormous shift in peoples attitudes towards him in the final months of his life, even though he was such a friendly and loving soul. That broke me more than anything.

I would love another, but I’m not sure whether another dog would ever compare to him. We found his final few months so upsetting and we are still reeling from it, even 5 months later. Still at the stage where I’m not sure we could go through it again.

I do agree. We were just commenting on that this morning. I feel like I have to be on constant lookout for the neighbourhood reactive dogs whenever I am out - not relaxing. We take him to the beach though where he can run free with all the other normal dogs. They do exist. It is hard work though but I would struggle to imagine the house being a home without him.

I’ve owned dogs my entire life but I agree that it’s changed, waking the dog used to have some basic ‘rules’, i.e pick up poos, if another dog is on a lead keep yours out the way and Don’t let your dog jump on people. since Covid their has become a massive issue with badly trained dogs but also people have crazy expectations because of social media dogs aren’t ‘allowed’ freedom to behave like dogs and which is making the behavioural problems worse.

An example is that I was walking my dogs in a woodland where I have walked them for years and they ran around the corner to wait for me to throw the ball in the river, they do this every time and I have no problem with it as they are not interested in other dogs or people, they just run to the side of the river and wait for me.

When I got round the corner a lady with a dog on a lead was hiding in the bushes and angrily told me they should be on leads, I was really concerned about what had happened in the 60 seconds they had been out of my sight so asked the lady what they had done, she said they had ran past her dog and it was reactive. I said I was really sorry they had approached her dog and that they would never normally even look at another dog she then clarified that they hadn’t actually approached her dog. Later the same day she put a post on a community Facebook page complaining that my dogs had been running around off lead upsetting her reactive dog. In the post I commented “I’m sorry they approached your dog when I asked you earlier you said they hadn’t” and she then agreed again that they hadn’t gone near her dog or even looked at it, apparently just existing in the same place as her dog was enough to warrant the post.

Things like this make me think that after a life time of owning dogs, working with dogs and competing in dog sports I probably won’t get another, the true enjoyment of owning a dog for me has always been having them well trained enough to enjoy walks off lead like a little team but I feel like a time is coming where that will no longer be possible.

Agree with you. I'm regularly up at 5am to walk my dog as I have a very high energy dog and there is a huge difference with the breeds of dogs being walked at that time vs later in the day at my local forests. Most people at that time are very happy for my boy to come and say hi & have a quick play, later in the day I'm constantly having to call him back when the other owners put theirs on the lead as they don't seem to want their dogs to interact with others. I've noticed a lot of people don't seem to understand what is normal dog play.
It also seems a lot more acceptable for people with small yappy dogs to run up to bigger dogs who are on the lead, but like you say, if I allowed my dog to do it, he would be called aggressive because of his size.
I've decided when my dog goes I will likely have a break then look into dog fostering.

My older dog did have this habit of running up to other dogs and giving a little friendly growl but people would often interpret that as nastiness.

Well, I'm not going to lie, if a strange dog ran up to my dog and growled, I'd be pretty pissed off with the owner for allowing it to happen.

WTF is a "friendly growl" anyway?

I've noticed a lot of people don't seem to understand what is normal dog play.

Hm, I think it's more that people have had bad experiences and don't want to risk their dogs getting hurt.

I work with dogs BTW and absolutely understand that normal play can be rough, but I don't know if the strange dog approaching me is going to be friendly or is going to cause a problem. Unfortunately, I've had too many occasions where the latter has happened and it's caused my dog to become reactive, so I'm much more wary nowadays.