Is the “stress” of owning a dog worth it?

[Supernova23]

Life long dog owner. Historically a multi dog owner but my current pooch wouldn’t tolerate a newby, so just have the one.

I’ve had dogs at various ends of the spectrum from extremely friendly to all and sundry, to not particularly friendly apart from a select few.

Dog walking is now like an Olympic sport. Your mission is to avoid other dogs if your dog is overly friendly or reactive, as you don’t want to upset other dog owners. You also have to avoid bikes/runners/livestock and make sure you are following the exact right of way as you wouldn’t wish to upset any farmers.

The absolute look of horror now if a dog behaves like a dog. If you have your dog off the lead someone will accuse you of having it out of control. If your dog barks it’s out of control. If it does something “wrong” you haven’t trained it. Basically you never win. My mum actually goes for walks without her dog now if she wants a relaxing walk LOL. We have far too many people and dogs on this little island now.

The leeway you get if you own particular breeds. Cockerpoo or Labrador or “nice breed” barks at something, that’s cute. Bull breed barks at something, it’s the devil incarnate.

Then the responsibility side. It’s like having a child in that you can’t do anything spontaneously. Weekend away last minute? Nope, the dog. Work needs doing on the house? What about the dog? Shifts at work….revolve around the dog. Night out? Nope, the dog. If the dog barks more than twice, is it upsetting the neighbours? Holidays….the cost of kennelling the dog costs as much as the holiday.

Also the mess. Mine sheds profusely. It’s a constant battle keeping on top of the hair and grime. My walls are black from the mud in the winter. The smell in the garden from the urine which can be really hard to keep on top of.

I adore my dog but after she goes, I think she will be my last. I just feel like dog ownership has changed so much in the last 20 years or so. It’s like they have replaced children and a lot of dog owners are completely bonkers and forgot they have a massive predator with instincts at the end of a lead. Anyway, anyone else feel the same?

My multi dog ownership makes me really happy

I had a gap of no dogs for a couple of years when my last one died and it felt like half a life

My work life is set up that all I want during lunch hours/end of the day is the dog cuddles

I don't have space due to work to go on impromptu weekends away or take holidays so my dog cuddles in between work are a really huge part of my life

I grew up with a much loved dog and even as a child vowing never to have one as an adult. Too much work and responsibilities. I clearly remember going out for the day and needing to get back because having to sort the dog, or going on holiday and the dog being sick because they were not used to kennels and just the daily effort of walking the dog. Now with children and general life, walking the dog is just a chore and I wouldn't get one. For me the stress outweighs the benefits and we had an indoor 'child' for 16 years.

Yes. I agree there seems to be a sudden influx of "reactive" dogs. Is that code for unfriendly or badly behaved or untrained? I'm never sure. I was at a dog sports event quite recently and in between sessions a lot of dogs were put in crates ( covered) with a sign saying "reactive". I was told to "control your dog better " because my dog turned and walked towards another dog. People have gone bonkers. I really don't want to go back to the dog sport as it was all just too high stress. I thought it would be fun 😞

I've five dogs and when they are gone they are gone and I will not be replacing them. I'm 40 this year and just want to enjoy life and be spontaneous. I'm lucky that I have two adult children still at home so if I want to go away I can, and my parents and best friend live nearby so have someone to always have them/pop in but I will not be tying myself down with more animals when my kids are growing up and are much easier.

I agree completely with everything that OP said apart from the last paragraph.
After our last dog Daisy was euthanised I swore no more dogs.
We finally took Daisy’s things to the rescue centre that we adopted her from so that another dog could benefit after 3 months.
While we were there my husband decided to have a ‘quick look’ at the dogs. Fatal. I spotted one dog, a collie cross, about 3 yrs that cowered each time the dog in the next cage barked.
We were five minutes out of the centre when we broke the ‘no more dogs’ rule and went back for him.
He is definitely one of those dogs that are termed as ‘hard work’. We were told he was reactive to other dogs. From day one we realised it wasn’t just dogs. We had been sold a pup if you excuse the pun.
The thing is, he is the most lovable dog you could come across.
Within the first week we found a trainer. Since then He has tested the talent of two behaviourists, two trainers, the vet, who diagnosed him with anxiety, another vet (same practice) who shrugged and said ‘pity we can’t ask him’😳a Facebook course that a friend recommended, a reactive dog Facebook group and at last we have found a really really great trainer/behaviourist.
Our dog is well trained in that he obeys many commands, and he has overcome many of his fears. A lot of his problems we think were possibly due to the fact he was born in lockdown and not socialised by his previous owners.
However, he still has a breaking point with meeting other dogs regarding proximity or number and for that we always have some form of backup plan.
I have been called all number of things while hanging on to my lunging barking (very seldom now) mutt.
I wish the people who tell me to train him ….could see how far he has come with his training. Everyone we have encountered has said he missed out on socialisation at a critical stage in his puppy hood. Our current trainer agrees that it is this and possibly genetic (we aren’t wholly sure of his breed but there is collie there). We are doing the long haul of training.
It wasn’t us who didn’t socialise him.
He will get there, I just wish people would realise he is as the OP said …a dog, he barks. We talk.

Our boy is 2 in July and is my first dog ever (grew up with cats). I bloody love him and love the excuses to go for walks and get outside and even though he follows me everywhere like a bad smell it’s amazing to feel so needed.

we got him now because we both work from home and our teenagers can help with him but also be Independant themselves (we can go out for more than 4 hours if one of them stays at home, we can also take him for walks and leave them home unattended etc) and he’s an easy, placid, non barking love bug - I genuinely am worried about how heartbroken I’ll be when he goes and I was 100% cat person before we got him.

however when he does go I think we’ll be pet free for a while as well also then be child free (or at least they’ll be adults!) by then so being able to take advantage of being spontaneous and not taking any dependants into account will be very freeing. I also worry about not getting as perfect a dog again!!

right now the pros outweigh the cons, and we live semi rurally but almost every dog owners we come across is conscientious but also realistic so on the whole the experience has been great - much more than I thought it would be!

@margymary "reactive" doesn't mean any of those things, but it's a word that's often mis-used by lots of people.

My dog is reactive (scared and barks to warn other dogs away) because he was pinned and attacked as a puppy and is now terrified of it happening again. He's six and, after years of training, he's better but he still hates seeing the breed of dog that attacked him and I can hardly blame him.

He's never once bitten a dog or even attempted to - if an unfriendly dog does approach him he runs or cowers.

I'm really torn. I love my dog dearly and she brings a lot to my life. But she is not without her challenges and I don't always find managing her easy.
We are off the a behaviourist again so I can get it right for her.
I know when she goes I will miss her and the companionship a dog offers terribly. And I would feel guilty if I didn't offer a dog or even a couple of dogs a home when I know I could.
But I do struggle with other people and other people's dogs, my latest pet hate is people with multiple frenchies who are too busy chatting to deal with their highly reactive dogs, cats everywhere - on the street, in parks, one out on a lead the other day - the amount of food-related rubbish everywhere, boy racers who frighten her driving their noisy vehicles at high speed and countless other things.
I struggle with the idea of people owning other sentient beings too.
I'm sure there will be more dogs in the future but I'm going to get better set up for a dog in the future. Maybe buy some land. Big garden. A property where someone could come to stay so I could go on holiday once a year for some sun...

I’ve owned dogs in the past, but wouldn’t now. Too much stress and a tie.

I have four. Once they all die off I will never get dogs again.

So expensive and such a tie.

Tbh I like dogs but I don't really get much happiness from owning them.

Well, dogs urinated 20 years ago, presumably their piss smelled the same in the garden as it does today (or are you one of those 'we never see white dog poo anymore' ah, good times).

I think there were also shedding type dogs 20 years ago. I mean, I'm fairly certain.

And 20 years ago, dogs couldn't look after themselves if you went on holiday, so I'm not sure what has changed from that.

I think it just sounds like you are done after 20 years of dog ownership, which is fair enough.

A bit like when the kids leave for uni. It's been really fun, and you wouldn't have changed anything, but time for them to fly the nest now so you can have first dibs in the shower, buy what you want from Tescos and swan off to Corfu in term time if you feel like it.

My dog makes me happy every day. He’s sitting at my feet now as he follows me around and worships me. He’s so beautiful and loving. He communicates with me by looking into my eyes.

I have not been on holiday for 5 yrs though so when my dog goes, I probably won’t get another.

No stress at all. The opposite. We get loads of cuddles and I love our walks. I agree with the holiday thing though. But we take that on the chin.

Also, I read on here about reactive dogs attacking other dogs and jumping on people.

I live in a country where it is basically illegal to have dogs off the lead. Therefore there is zero stress in that respect.

So, OP, it has been ok for you to own dogs for decades, but now they are more popular, you are vexed? Should you be the only one allowed to own a dog, then?
I have owned dogs since my teens, but I gave up when our Lab died a few years ago. I felt like we were a meal ticket for the vets, insurance and specialist food companies.

We lost our old lad after. 14 happy years and decided immediately that we would have a minimum of one year dog free. We went away a lot and generally enjoyed the freed.

But. Empty house. No delighted welcome each time we’d been to post a letter or nip for milk. No soppy playing with Mr Lamby.

Then the debates began. Puppy, rescue, should we or shouldn’t we? I’d been minding a friend’s dog one day a week and it kind of ticked my dog box. More people should do this.

So after more discussion than we had ever had over having our children a puppy was chosen. He’s been home 8 weeks and although sometimes I wish he’d fly to the moon we do adore him and his puppy ways. In fact I was dreading it so it’s been way less stressful than I anticipated but early days.

BTW I agree about all these new ‘rules’. Who became the dog behaviour police? Sure keep them safe and under control but unless a dog is trained to professional working levels not one I have ever met has absolutely perfect recall. They are dogs.

It's true though. I walk my Cockapoo and get "aw". I walk my sister's Staffie and get "where's it's muzzle". Note I never walk the Staffie off lead mostly because DSIS would kill me dead if I lost him. The comments typically come from owners whose super friendly dog has zero recall.

Are you on the Isle of Wight OP?
There seem to be more dogs than kids here. Some owners just shouldn't have dogs because they really haven't got a clue how to behave in public. Some are lockdown dogs I guess and weren't socialised properly at the right time.

No.
But everyone is different.

I agree. We lost our own dog a short while ago and despite owning dogs for the last 40 years I don't think I will get another one. It is just too much hard work and there are too many dogs now. I will stick to my cats that provide hours of pleasure without the stress.

I think the situation has worsened significantly since the pandemic. Before 2020 it was very rare for a dog to jump up at me while out running as the ones off lead would respond when called back and the ones with no recall would be on leads. That isn't the case any more, I'm having problems almost every week and I've completely lost the trust I had in dog owners to know their own dog and take the appropriate steps.

100% not worth it IMO.
We like to go on loads of days out and weekends away. It would be a nightmare to have to figure out what to do with a dog, it would really limit us. Then there's the mess and the smell.

^This!

OP- yes they are hard work in terms of cleaning. Our routine was early morning walk, through fields, mud, then a full wash down and dry off. Took about two hours approx. Nobody knows we have a dog, unless they see him. But we groom, vacuum, wash floors and carpets regularly. It’s time consuming as hell! But we love him. My other dogs were not such high energy, hair bastards🤣
Im lucky that he is so good I have plenty of offers to look after him, take him out etc. He’s too old now, but he is a hunk of hairy love. Labrador.
He’s also expensive £400 a month ish. He’s had two ops about £12k.

I will never have another lab though, too big and too hairy!
Staffie next time perhaps, we’ll see. I can’t imagine life without my dog.

"Dog People" never resent having a dog. Weekends away would, without question, include the puppy.

"Last minute" anything, includes the little furry dickhead.

I'm not sure you're a Dog person.

Totally agree with this.

Unfortunately you can't know whether you're truly a "dog person" or not until you get one, lol.

I think I was. I’ll always be a massive dog lover. But I am at a point in my life now where the responsibility outweighs the benefits. For the reasons I’ve stated; owning a dog wasn’t what it was several decades ago, when it just seemed “easier”.