How to give less of a shit about what people think

[bumface232]

I got friendly with a school mum a few years ago. Over the last few months she's started blanking me and I have no idea why. One minute she was super friendly, the next nothing. I know from the time I socialised with her that she could be quite bitchy and prone to falling out with people so I chose not to confront her and fuel the fire. But I've recently deleted her from social media because I don't want someone who clearly has such an issue with me seeing all we do as a family.

It got me thinking. Even though I'm quite sure I've done nothing wrong I still doubt myself. Why has someone suddenly taken against me? Is it my fault? Rather than put it down to them being arseholes I always tend to blame myself and worry about it.

I have a friend who honestly doesn't give one shit about what people think of her, she just gets on with life and seems really happy. I've always been a people pleaser and worry too much about other people's opinions. How can I change this about myself? If people are horrible I just wish it could be like water off a ducks back.

Nah you're still getting it wrong. Nevermind.

I don't think it's as much not caring about what people think of you, as much as it is less tolerant of bullshit. It's probably not true of everyone but I know I grew into myself and took less shit as I got older.

I use to be the same and i agree with the others the older you get the less you care

You've said you haven't done anything so it's her problem. You have to think you wouldn't treat someone like that so don't let her do it to you. Focus on other friends and family, she doesn't sound nice so she's actually done you a favour.

Was going to say exactly the same thing..

Couldn't give a flying fuck anymore!

Also it's not that you become mean and heartless as you get older, you just stop wanting to be around people that cause drama over nothing you just want peace.

There are different kinds of people who say 'I don't care what people think of me'.

• sociopaths (I know one like this unfortunately)
• tedious people who think they are down to earth and honest, but use that to cover up how nasty and/or awkward they really are: it's not that they value the honestly, it's that they can't stop their facial expressions or from running their mouths off, it's a lack of self-control basically
• women who have reached a certain age and their oestrogen levels have dropped, giving them a freedom they never knew they had. They do still care about people who care about them, they just don't feel the nurturing instinct that they used to have around certain people

It's rubbish OP, sounds as if you're better off without her but it still hurts, doesn't it?

I hope ageing helps me in this as I'm 42 and still torture myself over why someone may not like me or I don't fit in somewhere. I wish I cared less. I've also learned recently and painfully that people pleasing does not work. I think, if anything, people have less respect for you as a result. It's a work in progress!

Couldn't give a monkeys about what others think of me. Why bother worrying? Life is far too short for that sort of thing.

I was like this. I used to overthink every single thing, worried massively about what people thought about me.

I genuinely think age is the only thing that made a difference. I'm 34 now and I would say over the last year I've just stopped caring.