To think this is a safeguarding concern?

[Purplevioletsherbert]

A mum joking that her 7 year old daughter “will probably just end up a prostitute”.

🤢

Omfg. Did you hear someone say this? Was it said to/about you?

I don’t that it is a safeguarding issue TBH but it’s an awful thing to say and I feel really sorry for the poor child. Some people are just absolute dicks.

No, unless there's other context.
It's a vile way to talk about her child but I'm assuming it was meant to be a joke?

No, not on its own.

That isn’t to say it shouldn’t be reported or passed on because a lot of lives have been saved because of lots of pieces to a jigsaw coming together. Person A reports the mum saying the child is going to be a prostitute, person B reports that the child used some inappropriate terminology, person C notices that the child has odd clothing choices … put together a picture slowly starts to emerge. But on its own, it is not a safeguarding concern, it’s a joke that’s in poor taste.

A former friend would often make this remark about her daughter. It’s been playing on my mind because Facebook memories is showing me photos from last year when I remember her mum saying it and I felt so uncomfortable. Kicking myself that I didn’t do anything about it - if I raise any concerns now I’m fairly sure she will know it is me and will make my life hell.

Sorry you wrote that it was a joke.

It's horrendous to say, but how is it a safeguarding concern? How does it put her child at risk of serious harm?

It's an awful comment......but context is needed!

I wouldn’t say that alone is a safeguarding concern unless accompanied by other issues. But it’s a disgusting and vile thing to say about a 7 yo (or anyone).

Definitely a joke but also in the context of her homeschooling the child and the child not really thriving in any area, and the mum saying “it doesn’t matter, she’s only gunna end up a prostitute or a stripper!”.

also was said numerous times, not just once.

Ok I’m really glad that most of you are saying it’s not a safeguarding concern because I’ve been horrified that I never did anything about it!

Ewww...that's grim. What's the context in which it was said? It's a very weird thing to say

Not a safe guarding issue but definitely vile.

its horrible and yes i think safeguarding concern. Very weird thing to say about a 7 year old! I wonder if something else is going on, thats the kind of things some of these women would say that knew that child was sexually abused and did nothing

Who would you 'raise concerns' with??

Why didn't you challenge her at the time?

You must know what the rest of her parenting was like as you were friends with her. It sounds like a very crass joke and at the time you didn't think it warranted any action.

Well, exactly. It didn’t feel like it warranted a call to social services.

I’d usually make a comment of it being “grim” but didn’t think much more of it at the time. I ended the friendship when she started saying other things I wasn’t comfortable with.

I’d be more concerned in that context as some abusive families homeschool as a way for the abuse to go undetected.

I also know quite a few homeschoolers and absolutely none of them would make this comment, it would be absolutely counter to their entire approach to children, life and everything. So that would concern me too.

If a child was continually being told she was no good at schooling etc but oh well you can be a prostitute it would be a form of abuse especially if homeschooled hearing it all the time and having no balance from others.
If a teacher said this it would be a formal complaint.

What other things was she saying that made you end the friendship? What was her parenting like in general? How did the child seem regarding their emotional health and relationship with her mum. Why so worried a year on but easily reassured you don't need to worry.

Said in a jokey way like that then absolutely not a concern no.

I wasn’t overly concerned at the time because I saw a good mum who cares a lot about her daughter. I’d still say that’s the case - the fact we are no longer friends doesn’t mean I think she’s a shit mum. She devotes her life to her child. The child has SEN and is not emotionally well at all, and her mental health is very much her mum’s priority above schooling which I completely agree with.

she was using words like “spastic” and “retard”, which my own SEN child has been called by people who were supposed to care about him, which is why I ended the friendship. It’s only recently occurred to me that her using that language around/about her daughter as well as the prostitute comments could be doing a lot of damage to her child.

The reason I’ve been reassured so easily by these comments is because I also suspect the mum has social communication difficulties of her own and that that’s more likely than this being a huge safeguarding concern.

My friends mum would tell her younger sister from around 8 that "I don't know why I bother, you'll be pregnant by 15..."

Guess what, she was pregnant at 14, gave birth at 15 and now has 4 kids to 4 different dads and is 22, 2 kids are in care, 1 lives with the grand mother and 1 still lives with the sister, but is on SS radar bug time. :'(

If I'd heard that I'd have reported to a safeguarding lead at school or flagged with SS. The fact it is said in front of the child is horrific imho and tantamount to emotional abuse. I would wonder what else was being said. If mum has social communication difficulties then sounds like she needs support.

What hope is there for any child to have aspiration in their lives if those who are closest to them are so negative. Imagine as that child grows that is all they think they are worth.