To be fed up (financial mess)

[whattodo89]

I'm tired of being in a financial hole and just do not see a way out. My partner earns 25k and so do I so a combined income of 50k. Both FT. He has worked hard and retrained alongside his current position but has been unable to get into a first position in his new field. We both work our socks off, earn just above the cut off for any support. In a tonne of debt, so a good chunk of the salaries we make go to paying that. Have an IVA to consolidate our debt but have had to take more loans when the car breaks or other unexpected financial burdens occur. I can't do anything nice for our children and get so stressed at birthdays and Christmases, scrambling around on Vinted trying to find bits. We shop around for best deals for food etc and keep our food bills low at about £80 p/w for 5 of us. My partner has large diesel costs for his commute to work. We don't pay for childcare. We don't have unnecessary outgoings. We don't go on days out or have any hobbies except scouts for our children, and even that is a push. I'm so tired of living like this. I can't afford a party for our child this year and feel so sad that we work hard and are in this situation. I don't know how to improve our situation.

Who advised you to take out an IVA? they have a very high failure rate.

I can't even remember, it was years ago - we are nearing the end in about a year.

I'm sorry, it's so hard to be scraping by. I know from experience. I'm sure this is stating the obvious but is there any way for either of you to earn more? Taking a second job or switching employer? Ultimately more money coming in is going to be the only way out of this.

Can you post a list of your net income and all your expenses?

£25k isnt a great salary for your DH to be having high diesel commute costs with.

Can he look at anything nearer home to reduce it?

Is a career change an option for either of you? £25k is not so high - is it in a career path with prospects of better if you can get promoted?

I've asked my boss for overtime but they don't have any. The only other thing I could try is working some evenings in a second job but childcare would then be an issue with my partner having to commute home. He's desperately applying for hybrid jobs, jobs closer to home etc. He has interviews, but always falls at the last hurdle with potential employers saying he doesn't have enough experience (he's re trained in cyber security and is teyong to get into this, he's currently in IT support).

It'll be much easier without the IVA. Do you know why you had such big debts to start with?

Sadly, its a fact of life when you go into debt

You are doing the decent thing, paying you debts as many don't bother, so well done

Give it time, the debts will be paid off and hopefully, you are better able to control your spends

My tip to all is, other than buying your own place or business, you should NEVER pay interest on anything else

It may not seem like it, but you are on a good path and a wise path and in time you will be rewarded from lessons learned and then you can your kids sensible stuff but never on credit

Lenders fall over themselves to lend to people that have an asset - it is up to the borrower to be sensible

I really do wish you all of the best OP as you two are doing the right thin

Btw - if diesel costs are high, I'm sure the wear and tear on the car is - has your OH not considered a job closer to home??

ATB

It sounds really hard. IT is a good field to be in and has the potential to have higher earnings. It may just be a matter of time until your husband finds a new and better paid job. You’re doing the right things and hopefully with only a year left on your IVA then things will be a bit better.

We got into huge debt due to a number of reasons, setting up our first home quickly due to unexpected pregnancy. Then, my husband requires a visa and missed the cut off date for renewal about 5 years ago, . This meant he lost his job and was out of work for a year, whilst I had just had a baby and my other child had a medical issue that lasted about 6 months. My ex (other child's dad) was in an accident, resulting in life changing injuries and is now cared for in a home, so the maintenence I used to get stopped. We now drive my son to see his father 6 hours away, also a large financial burden. The list goes on...

what part of the country are you in? This salary sounds on the low side. If you both earned a bit more it would be much better.

it’s unfortunate this cost of living and austerity etc has squeezed a lot of us

Tristar15 he's in IT currently and has trained in Cyber Security but has been unable to break into the industry so far 😔

Crepester in the north-west

If he's struggling to get a job in cyber security, could he at least find an IT support job that doesn't require such a long commute? That would at least provide some relief in terms of commuting costs.

Yes definitely he's trying; he's on his laptop every night applying and applying. Surely soon there should be a break through 🙏

Can't help with finance but in terms of Scouts. Speak to scout leader, they may have discretionary funds and grants available to support families to access scout camps etc.

Likewise, speak to school re help with trip costs.

When you say trained in cybersecurity, what training and what type of cybersecurity is he looking at.

I work in infosec Governance, Risk & Compliance and we are inundated with bootcamp graduates at the moment, 6 weeks learning and being pushed to apply for roles that state a need for 2-3 yrs experience.

If he has a strong IT background is he applying for security engineering roles, security Operations etc where his practical IT experience is a strength or for GRC roles which are more about security policies, standards, frameworks, audit.... where he is likely to be up against others with a lot more experience.

I’m glad he is trying to increase his income, but are you doing the same OP? If there are two of you looking for better paying jobs, then that doubles your chances ?

Then, my husband requires a visa and missed the cut off date for renewal about 5 years ago,

He should be eligible for ILR now, which if he gets it will mean no more visa or NHS surcharge costs. AND if he loses his job when on ILR, he can claim UC.

So this is the type of role I would recommend someone getting into cybersecurity with a strong IT background look at:

uk.indeed.com/viewjob?jk=47f93ca8eec50d6f&tk=1hu6roiqqkcp789t&from=serp&vjs=3

This is the type of role where IT experience is less important and transferrable skills from project management/operations roles would make a stronger candidate:

recruiting2.ultipro.com/PSI1000PSIS/JobBoard/3b0fc76b-29e6-4a1f-94db-1dd3c9c51633/OpportunityDetail?opportunityId=8cb4b18a-e9c8-4326-aeaa-ccbdf886b927

He needs to ensure that he is critically reviewing the job adverts, really making sure he understands the role and can fill any direct experience gaps with a compelling example of similar or complementary experience from his past roles.

If he's applying for lots of jobs then he also needs to make sure he doesn't fall into the bad habit of just winging off the same CV to a dozen roles scattergun style, they won't get past the initial sift because recruiters are either using AI CV sifting tools that look for specific key words from the advert to appear in the CV, or they are being manually sifted by people who are now overly critical because of the huge numbers of AI created CVs were seeing.

IbisDancer - I'm always looking for jobs in the civil service but have been doing the same thing for 15 years now with no experience outside my sector. I sit down at 10pm most nights by the time I've got home, done dinner, put the kids to bed, sorted their things for the next day etc. I don't know how I'd manage to take on studying for something different when I already feel like I'm drowning, or even what I'd do☹️I did look into a career change coach but they charge hundreds!

FlabMonsterIsDietingAgain thank you for this, I'll run it past him. I know he sends his CV off everywhere and anywhere. I know he was desperate to get into SOC (?) but had no luck and branched further and further out, to the point where he's now applying everywhere. He's done a six month course with Capslock, then his Comptia Security plus (?). He had several interviews but always got told someone more experienced got the job. Now he's back in his IT role, he has hardly had any interviews.

Op years ago when we were on our knees I brought a tin you can't open and put 2 a week in. Sold ebay stuff and added where I could.
. In the first year we got about 80 pounds and I carried it over.
I know that sounds pitiful but we brought a yha membership with it and went away when they had sales. They have private rooms with en suite and you can take your own food and cook in kitchen.

I then got a few tins and put all few pounds a week in to help toward Christmas and so on.

It really helped.

We switched all bank cards to places that gave better interest, made sure light bulbs all low led, made sure we paid low for broadband etc.

It might be worth him getting in contact with some specialist cyber or IT security recruitment agencies and seeing if he can get his CV on their books for roles they are working to fill

www.xcede.com/disciplines/cyber

ltharper.com/

www.itecco.co.uk/

www.firstpointgroup.com/specialisms/cyber-and-information-security/

He should also look at CompTIA community forums to see if there are any networking opportunities and LinkedIn searching for #SOC #SecurityOerationsCentre #CyberJobs and other relevant terms to find groups/communities he can join and get talking to people.

Thanks FlabMonsterIsDietingAgain, I know he's on LinkedIn trying to network, I'll pass those recruitment agencies on to him. He's worked so hard to break into it but is at the point of giving up on that. Hopefully this will give him a bit of a boost.