To find it expensive keeping preschoolers fed & entertained?

[pirateblue]

I mean, it is, isn’t it? Or am I doing it wrong …?

Totally agree about the balance between cost and sanity. If I stayed in the house all day with DS we would both go insane and he'd start running into things and jumping off things, and we'd probably end up in A&E. Yes the park etc etc but it gets samey and is tedious if it's raining which is seems to do permanently. I wonder if people who suggest days at home have huge houses?
Also for me the food bill gets expensive because I generally have to have so many options because he's so picky.
My second son isn't sleeping well so I do also have to factor in the three take away coffees and cakes that keep me going in said park 😵‍💫 that gets expensive too

No wonder you're finding it so expensive 😳 I've only got one 3 year old but he's quite happy as long as he's with me. He loves helping me with the housework and will join in with my exercises. There's lots of fun kid workouts on YouTube. He loves cooking and baking, playing in the garden, reading books, watching a film together. He doesn't use a tablet and I'm not constantly creating lots of entertainment for him which I feel has helped his attention levels.

@Anewuser i apologise if I was snippy, I didn’t mean to be but I don’t always find it helpful to draw these sorts of distinctions between days of yore and now. I am not a young mum and was born in 1980: my own mum was like most of her contemporaries a SAHM until my brother and I were both at school (and she was quite unusual in that she worked full time then.) People stayed put more too, so chances are you would be surrounded by friends and family you’d grown up with all also ‘at home’ with similar aged children.

It was also more acceptable for even very young children to play unaccompanied by adults, just older children. That didn’t always work out well but you just couldn’t do that now, even if you wanted to.

Even so, I know we had many a trip to the beach, the park, IKEA crèche when it opened and after my brother and I were entertained for ages in a play area in carpet world my parents went back! I was also sent to Sunday school twice a day on Sundays which was a pain but I’m sure gave my parents a break.

Pre schoolers are the easiest, cheapest stage.

I agree with you. Even if I do 2 paid activities in a day (morning and afternoon) there's still a lot of time to fill playing with the same old toys, and all the activities suggested here might take 30 minutes to an hour but won't entertain a toddler all day. I am always grateful when my son takes a long time to eat a snack - an apple is a good time/money investment imo as he can sit for about 20 minutes with one 😂

Have you tried your local museums. The ones near me do a morning toddler session which is a pound term time, then special activities in holiday.
Do you have any good places which you can join for a year and make good use of - like a farm/visitor attraction.
Depending where you live EH or NT for a year.

Id get a copy of your local primary times (I assume it’s National?) if you can see anything in there.

@neverwakeasleepingbaby haha tell me about it … and the inevitable ice cream if the weather is good.

Our house is reasonably spacious but I do find too long in it and we all get a bit cabin feverish. Don’t get me wrong, it’s nice sometimes but for example yesterday we did messy play in the morning then went to a kids activity place for the afternoon. It was great, home by 3 and it was absolutely tipping down, I mean rain bouncing up half a metre in the air type weather, so I put a film on and gave DS some Pom bears (didn’t have any popcorn) sounds lovely except it was only an Julia Donaldson one lasting half an hour and three hours till bedtime and what to do …?

It can be hard, and it sounds like where you live is particularly difficult. It was definitely cheaper when I lived in a city: lots of things in walking distance and we were lucky to have Sure Start Centres still.

I usually do something in the morning: gymnastics, library, shop trip, toddler group. Then in the afternoon something at home or nearby. I've always found two trips in a day a bit much though.

The waste is the worst part of the food to me: throwing away crusts or scraps or leftovers because it's so hard to judge how much or what they'll eat on any given day.

@pirateblue
no need to apologise, you have young children and they’re hard work.

I promise it will get easier and they will grow so quickly, you’ll look back with rose tinted glasses on.

Buy some puddle jumpers/playsuits. Skin is waterproof!!!

Buy a small outdoor garden play pack with mini cones, bean bags, rings etc turn your garden into an obstacle course

Let dig and make mud pies in the garden, devote a corner for messy play

Finger painting, fruit/veg/leaves/flower stamping

Pasta and glue pictures

Make toys out of recycling Pinterest is great for this

Make salt dough and dry then paint

Make sun catchers and dream catchers

Nature trail treasure hunt

Geo caching there's free apps available

Bike rides, walks, parks

Splash in the sprinkler

Torchlight silhouettes pictures

Orchard boardgames- get these on ebay or charity shops

Make a picnic then choose a silly spot to have it

Play hairdressers or dress up

Make Shoe box dioramas

Paint stones and then hide them. See if you can find any

Pond dipping

Look for fossils or interesting stones

Popcorn garlands aren't just for Christmas

Paper chains

Paper lanterns and decorating

No bake baking ie. Rice crispy treats

Make instruments out of recycling and put on a show.

Make slime if you're brave enough....

The list goes on and on. Had the added benefit of going through lockdowns with a 4 then 5 year old. The above cost very little or a bit but if used more than once will be worth it. Charity shops and ebay are great for finding bits and pieces. Pintest is great as are websites like free things to do with the family in Surrey. Pack a lunch whenever possible and get the kids involved with that as well.

I had a total lunatic spririted boy toddler too. No driver's licence at that time. Needs must I am afraid waterproofs and wellies for everyone including me. We walked or took the bus everywhere, I have to say I wouldn't have fancied doing it in the middle of the Country. The science museum garden was a complete life saver, morning at home then an early lunch and walk across the park ro get the bus to South Ken, arriving around 2pm just as the school groups left- happy days and just a single bus fare....

It sounds like you're going all this stuff for yourself as much as the kids, to relieve boredom/guilt. They really don't need to be out doing multiple activities per day, especially in the summer when they can entertain themselves for hours with a paddling pool.

Going up and down escalator in shopping centre. Bus ride round town... double decker a bonus. Library time.
Anyone else's house with new toys. Mum and me cinema afternoons. Looking at pet shop windows. Building dens aka beating nettles with sticks.
Watching planes land. Making pastry and jam tarts. Emptying dishwasher. Roller skates or stilts or hoopla.

My 4 year old loves expensive activities. He’s very much over puddles and libraries and playgroups. He wants trips on trains/buses/boats to cities with interactive museums and big soft plays and cafes and shops. I used to oblige but I don’t anymore. I ride out the complaints of ‘this is boring’ when we stay at home or do something very local. I don’t want him to grow up thinking there is no pleasure in simple things. It’s really hard - it would be a lot easier for me to always take him on all singing all dancing outings. He complains a lot. But I think it’s the right thing to do as a parent.

Oh yeah I thought that would happen to me too. My eldest son wasn't having it. He did love hot wheels though so used to spend hours just driving his little cars around. I would draw a car park on a page and he would park them all in the wee parking spots bless him.

Get a thermos cup, take your own coffee. I work FT and am extremely well paid but only buy coffee out once or twice a week.

Not really. When mine were little it was hard work keeping them entertained but they were happy with free or very cheap stuff. Going to the park, playing shops, walk on the beach, helping with baking, doing some playdoh or painting, walking to see the ducks or the trains.

Teenagers on the other hand....every item of designer clothing costs £100. They grow about an inch a week. They eat an entire food shops worth of food in 24 hrs and they are aways hungry. They want games consoles, game passes, iPhone and earpods, spottify membership, netflix, prime, sky etc etc. They want to go to concerts and theme parks, or DofE (fuck me the kit is expensive) to go on school trips abroad, to go out for pizza and the cinema with friends. They start eating adult portions in restaurants and decided they'd like steak. They need new bikes, surfboards, wetsuits, walking boots PE trainers, mens size school shoes, expensive Nike trainers. Toddlers cost very little in comparison.

I have very active children. No sedate colouring for us! They are 10 and 13 now but a decade ago he was entertained by the park and anything outdoors. I did do a couple of church groups on my non work days to get me out the house and talk to other mums. I'm in a city and the provision is very good. It wasn't a posh area and they usually had a great selection of toys for preschool ages 0-4, an activity like crafting or messy play laid out, and a good selection of snacks.

I swim and it seems most people take their dc to baby splash which is not an expensive activity. Sounds like that might be a no no for you if you live rurally.

We could spend all day in the Park, good weather and bad. We still go now as no one in my family likes sitting around at home. Jumping in puddles and picking up sticks, building dens, playing games together acting out stories or scenarios like being a shopkeeper.

We'd also go to the library, get a book and read it there. I didn't go to rhyme time past aged1. Young dc are usually just curious and happy to be out getting into stuff. A trip to the supermarket is exciting (but miserable for mum and will involve buying food they like) (I avoided shopping with them).

I'd draw the line at paid for food and drink on normal days out. Ice cream is for weekends and holidays.

As for food costs its really not as expensive feeding toddlers as adults but they are an extra mouth to feed.

It sounds like you're feeling the pinch and have too much time with them. All credit to you for doing SAHM this long. It sounds like your dc would thrive at nursery whilst you work, get a bit of yourself back and make some ££ too to spend on the DC.

If you think they are expensive now you've got a shock to come. Paid for activities get more pricey, days out are extortionate, food costs are MORE than you'd pay for yourself multiplied by number of family members as they tend to eat more than you and want more snacks. Clothes are very expensive for teens especially but it kicks in young with them wanting Nike trainers or expensive football kit. Today my dc asked him to get more "hair powder" which turns out cost £17 for 7g. I did not buy it! Their social life starts to cost you ££.

I pay for piano x2, violin x1, swimming x1, water polo x1, tutor for the youngest doing 11+, Fencing x1, football subs x1, scouts/cubs x2 plus days out and socials with all these groups and the kits and consumables and exams and competitions that these activities entail. We are a normal family, not wealthy.

It's a bit of a 'how long is a piece of string' question.

Can it be expensive? Yes.

Does it have to be? No.

It's up to you. If you and your child like being out and about, don't like the park in the bad weather, don't enjoy being at home, don't want to do the library too regularly, live somewhere where you can't walk anywhere etc. then, yes, it probably is expensive. Obviously, if you didn't have the money for these activities your children wouldn't die of boredom, they'd get used to what they had. It's optional.

You are making it expensive for yourself. Lots of free stuff you can do (yes, just walks, we do at least 1 every day, go at their pace, let them look at things. You don't have to go far.) They need to learn to entertain themselves.

I found that if I got the morning in then the rest of the day just flew by. No way would I be paying for 2 activities a day.

Indoor games suggestions:

Post office/shop. They love setting this up, I play for a little while and then have to nip away to do a job. Poo back for a few mins every now and again.

Mario run/kids yoga on youtube

Free rein over the art supplies. I keep foil, old birthday and christmas cards, magazines etc for cutting up and ask for paint/glue/art supplies for presents from family (if they ask!)

A massive cardboard box can keep mine entertained for ages. Making a den under the table (especially when I let them eat dinner under there, things like hot dogs)

Little cardboard boxes for decorating homes/car garages

Paint sticks to draw on windows. Then they help me wash it off a couple of days later

They all have daily chores to do (hanging out socks, brush the floor, wash plastic dishes)

Throw a ball up the stairs to them and they throw it down to me (we still have a top stairgate).

Every day for 20/30 minutes I tell them 'mummy is having her tea break' and they have to entertain themselves. I make tea and read my book. At the start I did have to chase them away constantly but with time they realised I was serious.

You sound like a VISA advert. “Mud=free. Sticks=free. Hashtag making memories = priceless ”.

You’re speaking to a struggling mother so some empathy would be helpful.

OP - we solved this problem by having a second child 😬 But you have to hurry so they can be interested in the same things!!

@WhySoManySocks she's got a second one already....

wait until they are teens...

Every day for 20/30 minutes I tell them 'mummy is having her tea break' and they have to entertain themselves. I make tea and read my book. At the start I did have to chase them away constantly but with time they realised I was serious.

I love this, such a good idea.