Would this have made me look weak?

[Dont1981]

I know I'm overthinking this but..
It was during a date, and we were talking about uni days. Can't remember the exact context but I was saying that people who were always doing X at uni when they were drunk would get on my nerves.

He said 'You've just described exactly how I was at uni."

I laughed and said 'oops sorry'

And he said 'no you don't need to apologise '

Anyway he didn't want a second date, wondering if this put him off?

I was only saying it in a jokey way but I know saying sorry makes people look weak, doesn't it?

How weird. Why do you think saying sorry is weak?

I think it was probably the fact that people who behave like he does get on your nerves more than the 'sorry' that did it.

Or any one of a hundred other things.

But no, saying sorry doesn't make you look weak.

I mean people who sort of use it a lot. Like in this example there was no need for me to say it, of course it's important to say it when it's genuinely warranted.

I mean uni was over a decade ago and he said he's teetotal now so hopefully he didn't take it too badly.

But you were sorry, that you accidentally slightly insulted him. That's a normal response. Saying sorry all the time to apologise for anything at all that you're saying, is a sign of a lack of self-confidence or self-belief. It's not "weak" to do that, and it's not "strong" to never apologise.

Your response in that context was fine. Him taking it as possibly really being an apology rather than a socially appropriate reply was a bit odd! Better off without that one I think.

Yeah, I'm possibly overthinking it ...

Another example I can think of was when I said I think X town is even nicer than Y town. He said "I agree, but don't say to people from Y town'.
He's from Y town. I laughed and said sorry my bad.

The only person I can think of who frequently says that apologising makes people look weak is Donald Trump.

I'd say 'whoops, sorry' in a light-hearted way is the exact response any sensible person would give in the circumstances.
Idk where you're getting the notion of 'weak' from?
He clearly didn't see a spark for his own reasons. Maybe he did think if you disliked uni drinking then you might feel the same about his current drinking? Who knows.
Just move on and try not to focus so deeply on why someone might not choose a second date.

Again, that's just a socially appropriate rejoinder not an 'apology' as such.

Yes I have been overthinking it. Neither of us drink at all now, I'll try not to second guess it, it was just the way he said 'You don't need to apologise '.

It sounds like you have foot-in-mouth disease.

I wouldn't go that far?

He said that you don't need to apologise to indicate that he hadn't taken any offence from your slight accidental insult, that's all.

There's nothing weak about apologising in their situation - it's just basic manners.
Don't overthink it - it's a total non-issue.

I'll try to forget it then :) thanks

It seems like you're focusing on every word and phrase you used.
Maybe there just wasn't a spark between you two.
Maybe he thought you weren't compatible with eachother.

What did you think of him? How did you feel about him?

You're overthinking it. He just wasn't into you. Move on, onwards and upwards.

Maybe you're a bit opinionated for a first date...

Oh yeah I forgot women shouldn't be having opinions and should stick to nodding politely and letting the man do the talking 🙄

Well you insulted the place he is from and the type of person he is on the first date so perhaps he just didn't see any point in a second date?

I get what you're saying, but he was talking about daft drunken stuff he did as a student which a lot of people did, that's not the type of person he is now.
I live in the same place and I didn't say it's not nice, I said X place is 'even nicer"

I'd say this was probable.

As Elsa would say Let it go.....

It seems your 'opinions' involve putting people (or towns!) down though. Why can't you just say '[getting drunk at uni] was never my thing' in a non judgemental way or 'I really love xyz about x town' without comparing it to y town?