To have said something to Asda employee

[FantaLemon4]

I went food shopping late last night and decided to get fuel on my way back at an Asda express petrol station. I pulled in and I admit there were a couple of cones out at the front of the forecourt but not blocking the entire entrance (my usual petrol station normally closes everything off) and the pumps on the right hand side had out of order signs on them but the ones on the left didn't. There were also two cars parked up so I just assumed that side was open. I tried to put fuel in but after a few seconds realised it wasn't working, no harm done but before I'd even had the chance to put it back and get in my car, a man walked over, looked at me (no hi/hello) and said "there's a reason why the cones are out" in a really stern voice and pointed to the cones. You would have thought I’d murdered his entire family the way he looked at me and then walked off.

I think he expected me to just drive off so it took him by surprise when I turned around and shouted over the pump “there’s no need to be so rude”. He turned around and started arguing with me saying he wasn’t being rude, he was just telling me that they weren’t working. I told him he was rude by making a sarcastic comment when all he had to say was “it’s out of order”. Also looked at me like a piece of shit basically. We were arguing back and forth at this point and he shouted “whatever” at me and then walked back into the shop. I really don’t think he would have spoken to me like that had I been a man or with a man.

Honestly, was there any need for his reaction? I understand it was an inconvenience for him to get up and tell me, but clearly it was a genuine mistake. I wasn’t doing it for the fun of it or to piss him off. I just wanted to get bloody fuel. Also don’t buy the “but he’s probably on minimum wage” excuses. I don’t earn much more than minimum wage myself, also facing redundancy at the minute and generally just have a lot of shit going in my life but I don’t think that’s a reason to speak to people like shit, especially paying customers.

AIBU?

cones at a petrol station entrance usually indicate it’s shut
it sounds like you picked a fight to be honest
YABU

All a bit of a storm in a teacup on your part. Could he have been more pleasant in pointing out it was obviously closed? Probably, but I can’t believe you thought a proportionate response was to start yelling across the closed forecourt 😂 your reaction was way ott.

Cones even partly across the entrance give an obvious message.

You were OTT

I'm more interested in them only using 2 cones to close it off. Surely you'd put 4 or 5 given the width of the access into the petrol station.. seems like skimping on cones is not helping.

OP,

I'm guessing when you see a police car parked across the road, with cones out and a road closed sign, you pull up and ask the officer if the road is closed.

It's because you're a woman and talking down to people you believe to be beneath you comes naturally to some men.
You won't change people like that, you're right he expected you to just drive off quietly having been told off by the big man.

Surely it's obvious if the cones are there the petrol station is shut, what else would it mean?

YABU.

YABU - 9 times out of 10, if a customer already thinks the rules don’t apply to them, they’re going to kick off after they’re told they can’t do what they want. He was preempting that 🤷🏻‍♀️

Really? I think that's unusual as the petrol station I normally use closes everything off, you can't even use the shop. It looked like the 2 left pumps were open at this one and there were customers parked up on that side too.

Obviously I made a mistake, I've admitted that. I just don't think there was any need for him to be rude about it. Retail staff complain they get spoken to like shit all the time but don't really do themselves any favours sometimes.

To be fair, he walked off before I'd even had a chance to say anything and I wasn't going to follow him into the shop was I 😅

I think there was rudeness on both sides here.

However I think deep down you knew it was shut and you were basically a chancer, and that’s why he got angry. But both reactions were OTT.

But I was literally about to put the pump back and drive off before he came out. I only said something because of the way he spoke to me.

Filling up the other day where one side of the forecourt was coned off but the other was open.
Watched someone (a woman unfortunately) walk up to a cone, move it out of the way and then drive her car up to the (closed) pump and try to fill up.

Maybe the chap was fed up of people ignoring the cones?

Agree! He wouldn't have been sarky like that to my husband because he would got out and confronted his attitude.
My husband was in the back seat one day comforting our baby with blacked out windows and some bloke started giving me a load of mouth. His face was a picture when my husband got out the back seat to see what his problem was.
Ignore it op, silly little boys trying to feel like kings.

You were in the wrong and were called out for it. I doubt he was rude - I suspect he was direct after you ignored the cones and you’re offended because you got told off after you were very clearly in the wrong.

Nothing to do with you being a woman.

It definitely didn't help. There were only 2 cones at the entrance and none by the pumps themselves but 2 did have out of order signs on them.

I guarantee that if you were a 6ft 4in, stocky man he would have been more polite!

When I was a student I worked in M&S and then in Harrods. The customer is always spoken to politely, even when they've made a mistake or even if they're rude to you. That's the thing about retail or hospitality - customer service is your main function.

@GreenFairies I didn't ignore the cones. I've explained my reasoning for it. I deal with customers everyday who are wrong but I can't say that or speak to them like shit. I don't know, maybe "customer service" means something different to me 😅. I really don't believe he would have spoken the same way or been as direct if it was a man though.

You were both rude, but I wouldn’t dwell on it.

His initial comment was a bit rude, but it was late and he was possibly a bit stressed by whatever procedures they have to operate to keep the petrol station safe while maintaining it or whatever. He was probably required by those procedures to go out and ask you to leave.

However, you were more rude. You picked a confrontation unnecessarily. Stress does that, we all do it sometimes. You should forgive yourself, and remember that the considerations that allow you to forgive yourself apply to him also.

I think the opposite. I think if he had been a bloke he probably would have been ruder. Have you heard the way men speak to each other!

You were both rude. For you and others "if I was a man" stuff, this just sounds like you're looking for an argument so going in with an attitude. Kill em with kindness is healthier all round!

He was very rude to you.
Customer service has declined very badly. When I worked in customer facing roles anyone speaking to a customer like that would have been in trouble. You were polite at all times. There was no reason for him to say that and march off. He could have said “morning madam, that pump isn’t in use”. Instead he took his frustration out on you, which he doesn’t have a right to do.
People have become so used to poor customer service and rudeness, this is seen as the norm now.

I would have said what he did, there was a reason for cones, there's also a reason they don't completely block it and that's to allow people to drive through if they had already turned in before realising it's closed. Picking a fight by you from what you have written