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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have said something to Asda employee

69 replies

FantaLemon4 · 17/05/2024 08:47

I went food shopping late last night and decided to get fuel on my way back at an Asda express petrol station. I pulled in and I admit there were a couple of cones out at the front of the forecourt but not blocking the entire entrance (my usual petrol station normally closes everything off) and the pumps on the right hand side had out of order signs on them but the ones on the left didn't. There were also two cars parked up so I just assumed that side was open. I tried to put fuel in but after a few seconds realised it wasn't working, no harm done but before I'd even had the chance to put it back and get in my car, a man walked over, looked at me (no hi/hello) and said "there's a reason why the cones are out" in a really stern voice and pointed to the cones. You would have thought I’d murdered his entire family the way he looked at me and then walked off.

I think he expected me to just drive off so it took him by surprise when I turned around and shouted over the pump “there’s no need to be so rude”. He turned around and started arguing with me saying he wasn’t being rude, he was just telling me that they weren’t working. I told him he was rude by making a sarcastic comment when all he had to say was “it’s out of order”. Also looked at me like a piece of shit basically. We were arguing back and forth at this point and he shouted “whatever” at me and then walked back into the shop. I really don’t think he would have spoken to me like that had I been a man or with a man.

Honestly, was there any need for his reaction? I understand it was an inconvenience for him to get up and tell me, but clearly it was a genuine mistake. I wasn’t doing it for the fun of it or to piss him off. I just wanted to get bloody fuel. Also don’t buy the “but he’s probably on minimum wage” excuses. I don’t earn much more than minimum wage myself, also facing redundancy at the minute and generally just have a lot of shit going in my life but I don’t think that’s a reason to speak to people like shit, especially paying customers.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Howbizarre22 · 17/05/2024 10:46

YANBU he was out of order. There’s no need to be rude like that & I see there are people also being rude on this thread. You made a mistake and he confronted you rudely so you reacted of course. I’d be pissed with that he needs to learn about decent customer service. And yeh most likely felt he could speak to you like that because are a woman.

FantaLemon4 · 17/05/2024 10:46

tennesseewhiskey1 · 17/05/2024 10:38

I mean - maybe you were not the first person to do it - maybe he only had 2 cones because the rest have been stolen, i dont know, but you were rude, and you knew that probably cones out meant it was closed, you chanced it, and he got annoyed. YABU.

I wasn't chancing anything, I thought the 2 left pumps were open.

OP posts:
FantaLemon4 · 17/05/2024 10:49

Rosebel · 17/05/2024 10:36

Presumably his shift was at an end, he'd probably been dealing with rude customers all day and possibly thought you were going to go in the shop and complain because the pumps weren't working so decided to tell you the petrol station was closed. Also you have things going on in your life he probably does too.
You were rude and so was he but you were in the wrong, why did you think there were any cones out? And then why argue with him, knowing you were wrong? And I have seen men being spoken to rudely and aggressively, pretty sure that even if you were a man he'd still have said the cones were out for a reason

Well that's kind of my point, I have things going on in my life as I'm sure he does too, but it doesn't give people the right to speak to others like crap.

OP posts:
JuiceBoxJuggler · 17/05/2024 10:49

Sounds like you both had a bad day and took it out on one another.

Beatrixslobber · 17/05/2024 10:51

You have lots going on but you picked a fight. He could have been politer but I don’t think he was overly rude. You caused an argument when you could have just say ‘oops, didn’t realise’ or whatever.

Pick your battles, it will help with your stress levels.

Sleeperagent · 17/05/2024 10:52

Yanbu, I would have reacted exactly the same as you.

VolvoFan · 17/05/2024 10:53

YABVU.

taxguru · 17/05/2024 11:01

At our local garage, when the tanker is there, they usually put a couple of cones behind it but they don't block off the forecourt and cars can continue to go onto the forecourt, park, go in the shop, etc. The cones are just to warn drives of the tanker and the pipes/open man hole covers.

When the forecourt is properly closed, they put cones across the entrance so that it's clear you can't go on - you'd have to move the cones to get your car on.

Sounds like the idiot/grumpy staff member couldn't be bothered to properly put the cones in a place where it was obvious the entire forecourt was closed.

Anonymous2025 · 17/05/2024 13:04

You are right , he was wrong . I would complaint formally so you are better person than me ! I worked at a petrol station as a young person while studying and never felt any need to scream at anyone .

Loubelle70 · 17/05/2024 13:05

starlingscott · 17/05/2024 08:53

It's because you're a woman and talking down to people you believe to be beneath you comes naturally to some men.
You won't change people like that, you're right he expected you to just drive off quietly having been told off by the big man.

I doubt he would have spoken to a man like that eh?

CustardySergeant · 17/05/2024 13:10

He didn't call you names, swear at you or insult you. Instead he told you there was a reason why the cones were out and pointed at them. OK, you didn't like the way he looked at you, but I can understand why he wasn't chatty or smiley. He just stated facts.

CustardySergeant · 17/05/2024 13:13

Anonymous2025 · 17/05/2024 13:04

You are right , he was wrong . I would complaint formally so you are better person than me ! I worked at a petrol station as a young person while studying and never felt any need to scream at anyone .

Scream? "a man walked over, looked at me (no hi/hello) and said "there's a reason why the cones are out" in a really stern voice and pointed to the cones."
That's not screaming, that's talking.

taxguru · 17/05/2024 13:27

CustardySergeant · 17/05/2024 13:13

Scream? "a man walked over, looked at me (no hi/hello) and said "there's a reason why the cones are out" in a really stern voice and pointed to the cones."
That's not screaming, that's talking.

No it's not, it's sarcasm!

LakeTiticaca · 17/05/2024 15:59

He was rude. He should have coned across the whole entrance. I would complain

Crystallizedring · 17/05/2024 16:09

I can't believe people are saying complain formally. About what? Him doing his job? How do you have the time or energy to complain about a non event.
Asda won't do anything anyway, they struggle to keep staff as it is.

PickledPurplePickle · 17/05/2024 16:55

YABU

DinnaeFashYersel · 17/05/2024 16:58

You shouldn't have ignored the cones.

He pointed out your error.

You got cross at being called out and then picked a fight.

YABU

zingally · 17/05/2024 17:01

Your reaction was way OTT. A cheery wave and a "sorry! I didn't realise!" was all that was needed here. All the back and forth was dumb. You made a mountain out of a molehill.

FantaLemon4 · 17/05/2024 17:05

@zingally the funny thing is I would have apologised if he'd not spoken to me like shit 😅

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