Page 4 | To think that people who pearl clutch about swearing…

SallyWD · 17/05/2024 07:05

I've never heard anyone be shocked about a slipped out "Fuck" or "shit" unless it's coming from a small child. I think people dislike excessive swearing, when someone can't say a simple sentence without it including several swear words.

RampantIvy · 17/05/2024 07:06

I agree @SallyWD

Marjoriefrobisher · 17/05/2024 07:09

TheRealSlimShandy · 16/05/2024 20:37

Are often a bit dim.

I’m not suggesting that someone saying “can you pass the c*ing salt is ideal either (starred for those pearl clutches amongst us).

BUT ime - people who seems to want to cry over a slipped out “fuck” tend to be erm.. not that bright.

I have a similarly low opinion of the intellect of people who use lazy terms like « pearl clutching ». On that basis, YANBU. We all have our blind spots.

Nurber · 17/05/2024 07:09

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 17/05/2024 06:27

I really can’t work out on what basis you are correlating not liking swearing with being not very bright.

To me, it sounds like the kind of argument that might be made by someone who (a) swears a lot and (b) suspects they themselves aren’t very bright so are trying to make themselves feel better 🤔

I guess they’re probably looking at the research which correlates more swearing with increased intelligence. Doesn’t mean the inverse is true though.

liveforsummer · 17/05/2024 07:11

Sometimes there is no other word to express what you mean except a swear word. Sir Billy Connolly gives an excellent example here. 😆.
Agree with a pp though that it is worth knowing when it's appropriate and when it's not though. Living in Scotland it's very much more part of the vocabulary than elsewhere but at the school I work where parents stand in the playground and pepper every sentence with a swear word every 2nd word even I, as a lover of creative swearing, find it a bit much. Id not bat an eye lid at a frustrated parent swearing because they'd been unnecessarily shouted at by another adult though or typing fuck or cunt on an adult forum!

RampantIvy · 17/05/2024 07:14

I'm very sceptical about this "research".
How was it carried out?
Were people surveyed?
Do you suppose that people unable to construct a sentence without several expletives would have responded to surveys or would they just have told the surveyor to fuck off?

Itsmychristmasdress · 17/05/2024 07:14

JacquesHarlow · 17/05/2024 06:36

I find this kind of post by @TheRealSlimShandy so tiresome on here.

It's essentially an identification post.

It's a rallying call to anyone who has a middle-class or higher background, who has never had to escape the gravity well of accent, class or money in the UK, to proudly proclaim that , yes, they too can string together a bunch of epithets and curse words in a tinkly way, and show everyone how 'free' they are as a result.

My family (for what it's worth) - mother, grandmother etc - are religious, working class from council housing in north west London. Never had money, never owned property, never went to university, I was the first to get a degree, first to buy a house, first to work in a job in professional services and have a recognised "profession" etc outside of a trade.

You might say "what has this got to do with swearing?".

It has everything to do with it. If you know, you know.

If you grow up in an area where very bad people say those words with a frightening frequency, to intimidate women and men... If you grew up in a house where your permanently drunk dad used to use those words when smashing up the sideboard..

if you grew up in a world where your job isn't a supply chain and procurement officer, or an investment analyst, or chief council, or People & Culture , all jobs where there's an implied freedom in "we're all civilised folk, so let's get sweary and tinkly when we're in All Bar one, and hyper clipped tones and strategic in public"...

I know my post will get rubbished by the very people who can't see beyond the end of their permanently upturned noses, and who think every woman in 2024 is magically free , with the ability to earn six figure salaries and be WHOEVER SHE WANTS TO BE

However some of us have had to work really, really hard to escape the gravity vortex of that culture where swearing pulls you down into the shit.

I have no problem saying "fuck". Or any other word. I just roll my eyes (not pearl-clutch, but roll my eyes) when I see certain women on here doing it to make others nod and go "yep, she is My People".

Absolutely 💯.

RedToothBrush · 17/05/2024 07:14

LoneGothInASeaOfBalaclavas · 17/05/2024 01:39

No, it's the opposite.
Imagine not being able to prevent yourself from swearing eg around young children on a daily basis. Now that's a bit dim. And the consequences of it are well deserved and the parent should feel ashamed to have their little one parroting the same words. Let them keep their innocence as long as possible.
It's lazy parenting to spout off in earshot of young kids repeatedly. They can't be punished for what they've heard from you. But you also can't allow them to spout it in nursery/school etc so inevitably end up as a hypocrite.
DD is 12. I have never sworn in front of her. She swears in conversation with her friends but not towards me.
It's not a difficult balance to achieve. You might say a bit "dim witted" if you can't manage that. It's not hard.

See I would argue that swearing isn't a problem in itself. It's context that matters.

All words have meaning and are expressive. Using swear words appropriately isn't an issue. They shouldn't have a status where they are forbidden in all contexts either because that gives them a power which can be used in a negative way.

We don't have a problem with swearing in front of DS. We figure he's going to hear it often enough at school. We take the attitude we'd rather teach him how to use swear words well and in a way that isn't going to get himself into a whole world of trouble.

Therefore teaching him there is a time and place for swear words and that they shouldn't be used in certain places or to certain people is more valuable than a complete ban on them.

Swear words are amazing words in their own right. We under value them or misuse them. That's the issue.

Parents who don't swear at all save up a bunch of their own issues because it means you close a level of communication off. It means you actively say some conversations are verboten and off limits.

DS is not allowed to swear. Not unless he has been 'given permission to' or it's not in our earshot. He understands we know kids swear and it's part of the language of growing up. He knows we swear and it's an adult thing. The point is we are teaching this and how swear words have boundaries and are almost ring fenced into certain situations. And they should not be directed at people in an abusive way.

We've said it's better for him to understand the meaning of swearing words rather than just use them without knowing what they mean (the literal meaning and the contextual slang casual meaning). This he is permitted to come and ask us about any word or phrase he does not know or knows has a 'bad' meaning.

All communication is communication. We want to encourage in a positive way and to ensure language is used creatively, contextually and accurately. It has a time and place.

Ranting away on MN is often a fucking good release of anger and frustration over emotive topics. Swearing can help to convey that or to slightly deintellectualise when it might be getting very serious or word salady. It's a sledgehammer word too.

The thread about the teacher yesterday couldn't make my eyes roll hard enough. It sounded like the teacher either had had a bellyful from the class or was communicating in a way to indicate to the kid that he should fuck off before he pushed his luck further in an informal manner. It wasn't abusive. Teachers who swore at school tended to be those who got the kids best and had the respect of the kids ime. They knew when it was appropriate and when it was absolutely not and when it would get them into a pile of trouble... Of course there is no accounting for jobsworth parents who go 'swear word = bad and wrong' rather than a more pragmatic 'is the teacher being abusive or are they communicating in a different but effective way?'

It is possible to be too uptight about swearing. It's is possible to be too free and thoughtless about swearing.

I think there's an intelligent middle ground.

rosaleetree · 17/05/2024 07:15

BUT ime - people who seems to want to cry over a slipped out “fuck” tend to be erm.. not that bright

I dont know a single person who would cry over a slipped swear word. Not one.

Our ex next door neighbours used to swear constantly, if you took out the swear words of their conversation there wouldnt be anything left and they were absolutely thick as mince, anti social, racist, and lacking in any empathy at all.

Its very ugly to swear all the time and it reeks of stupidity

RampantIvy · 17/05/2024 07:17

I don't love swearing. I do swear when it is appropriate, but I don't understand people who say they love it. What is there to love about it?

liveforsummer · 17/05/2024 07:25

rosaleetree · 17/05/2024 07:15

BUT ime - people who seems to want to cry over a slipped out “fuck” tend to be erm.. not that bright

I dont know a single person who would cry over a slipped swear word. Not one.

Our ex next door neighbours used to swear constantly, if you took out the swear words of their conversation there wouldnt be anything left and they were absolutely thick as mince, anti social, racist, and lacking in any empathy at all.

Its very ugly to swear all the time and it reeks of stupidity

Edited

Someone cater enough to make a post about it yesterday and to the extend of considering complaining to the nursery that they were parked out side of (not even on the premises)

OhYoko · 17/05/2024 07:26

Swearing is one of life's greatest pleasures and those unable to embrace it annoy me.

CurlewKate · 17/05/2024 07:29

"BUT ime - people who seems to want to cry over a slipped out “fuck” tend to be erm.. not that bright"

If I met someone like that (I never have, by the way) I wouldn't think they were "not that bright". I would think they had suffered some sort of trauma.

Original poster

TheRealSlimShandy · 17/05/2024 07:30

liveforsummer · 17/05/2024 07:25

Someone cater enough to make a post about it yesterday and to the extend of considering complaining to the nursery that they were parked out side of (not even on the premises)

Show quote history

Exactly. People also care enough to completely dismiss someone from complaining about the benefits system as she called them cunts.

“oh I would sympathise but you used the C word, so you deserved no empathy”.

OP posts:

Peaceandquiet9276 · 17/05/2024 07:31

I don’t hate it but I don’t do it infront of children and don’t understand the people who think that young children swearing is acceptable.

Gorgonemilezola · 17/05/2024 07:33

If not liking a parent addressing a child as 'you fucking cunt' makes me a pearl clutcher, so be it.

Noname1000 · 17/05/2024 07:34

They are just words. 🤷

MaryFuckingFerguson · 17/05/2024 07:34

I don’t think there’s any correlation between low intelligence and swearing. Some of the cleverest people I know are delightfully foul-mouthed.

I do have a (somewhat thick) colleague who seems frightened of any profanity. She’ll say things like ‘a over t’ instead of ‘arse over tit’, or, incredibly, ‘blow-off’ rather than ‘fart’ 😂

Original poster

TheRealSlimShandy · 17/05/2024 07:37

Gorgonemilezola · 17/05/2024 07:33

If not liking a parent addressing a child as 'you fucking cunt' makes me a pearl clutcher, so be it.

No that makes you normal. Not liking someone. Being abusive (whether to a child
or another adult) is not ok.

However getting in a tizzy because someone said “fuck” within earshot is ridiculous.

OP posts:

Original poster

TheRealSlimShandy · 17/05/2024 07:38

MaryFuckingFerguson · 17/05/2024 07:34

I don’t think there’s any correlation between low intelligence and swearing. Some of the cleverest people I know are delightfully foul-mouthed.

I do have a (somewhat thick) colleague who seems frightened of any profanity. She’ll say things like ‘a over t’ instead of ‘arse over tit’, or, incredibly, ‘blow-off’ rather than ‘fart’ 😂

love the apt username 😊

OP posts:

Medschoolmum · 17/05/2024 07:44

I think a lot depends on context. I don't like to hear people swearing at other people, because it's aggressive and obviously intended to offend. I expect people to moderate their language around other people's children, as people have such different views on this subject. And I expect people to avoid using language that is clearly misogynistic, just as I would expect them to avoid using words that are racist or disablist etc.

But honestly, yes I do question people's critical thinking skills when they get upset about people using words like "fuck" In a normal conversation. They're just words, same as any other words, and I would expect anyone with a reasonable level of intelligence to be able to see that.

CurlewKate · 17/05/2024 07:44

@TheRealSlimShandy "! However getting in a tizzy because someone said “fuck” within earshot is ridiculous."

Do you live in a convent?

RampantIvy · 17/05/2024 07:48

Noname1000 · 17/05/2024 07:34

They are just words. 🤷

I think you underestimate the power of words. If someone you care about said "I fucking hate you" would you just shrug your shoulders and think they are just words?

Or would you think "wow, that was an intelligent thing to say"

RampantIvy · 17/05/2024 07:50

Gorgonemilezola · 17/05/2024 07:33

If not liking a parent addressing a child as 'you fucking cunt' makes me a pearl clutcher, so be it.

Me too.

Flyhigher · 17/05/2024 08:41

Passive aggressive is so much worse than swearing. I hate it.

I can do it all day long. But hate it.