To do a PHD just to be able to use Dr?

[Confortableorwhat]

Unfortunately, I don't really think that's an option for me, but I need a title to use.

I currently use Mrs, have done for 30+ years, alongside late DH's surname. I married very young and TBH it never crossed my mind not to take his name and use the title, although I wouldn't do it now.

Anyway, I've been a widow for several years, I don't like using Mrs because I'm not married, I'm not a "Miss" and whilst I understand Ms is a solution for some, I don't actually know anyone who uses it IRL and find it awkward.

Is there a good option?

When women get to a certain age they default to Mrs in anything f2f especially in the NHS. I think I've been a missus since I was 21😀

Really, you stick with what you prefer. People will call you whatever they think is the most common status.

I never changed my surname and have been “Miss” or “Ms” Paninaro my entire life. “Mrs” is so outdated, it should just be “Ms” for all or, even better, no title whatsoever

Surely if anyone can identify as anything these days you could just choose not to use a title.
if asked, I just say my name. If I have to tick a drop down box I’ll say ‘other’ or tick one of the other options if I’m feeling mischievous, Lord, Lady, Dr whatever takes my fancy. I hold no truck with titles and prefer just to use my name

I use Ms happily because I don't think anyone should know anyone else's marital status in this day and age. If it's important to you and you ask me, I get to judge you.

Loads of people use Ms on paper

I wouldn't call someone Ms in conversation I'd use Miss or Mrs but on paper Ms is very common

I have only ever gone by Ms and Dr. No Mrs for me! I'd rather be Ms than Mrs, I'm a widow too and it is very annoying to have to keep ticking those boxes.

Dp has a phd and works at a uni and most of his colleagues as well as himself never use dr as they feel it suggests they're a medical dr and they're not. also it can take years to complete a phd and costs thousands. I'd just use ms

@RookieMa "
I wouldn't call someone Ms in conversation I'd use Miss or Mrs but on paper Ms is very common"

Why on earth not?

I agree in that I don't use 'Dr' in everyday life, and no-one addresses me as Mrs/Ms, it seems the main place for titles is on bills and websites, it would be great to drop titles altogether, and I say that as someone with a good title. No need for them in everyday life, fine in a work context.

I used to teach in a university and they still call you Miss 🤪

In all honesty though, would the form checkers ever know? I mean if your utilities company thought you were Dr it isn't a biggy really, is it?

Both my best friend and her husband have both PhDs and are working doctors. I call them “Doctor Doctor”. Except her husband is actually a surgeon so left behind his “Doctorness” long ago and is “Mr” again. Becoming a doctor from his PhD would be a demotion!

I think that the Op should become a Dame. I’m not sure exactly what one has to do to become a Dame but I do know that Laura Kenny got one for her 5 Olympic golds - would that be a possibility Op? 😂

Ah well. I didn’t look at poll results. Just based “most people” off the comments I read. Glad to see the majority of people understand there is more than one kind of doctor.

This is why I have been going by Ms all my adult life, single or married. I don't find it awkward at all as my username will testify.

I don’t use Mrs or Dr though I am both. I prefer Ms.

Just use Ms, it’s totally normal

Or do a phd, why not

I think it was the same 2 posters, posting again, and again… and again 😁

When I order items online I sometimes address it to Lady Edgar..... why not? Who cares? Certainly not Amazon or the like.

I use Ms all the time. Have done for 20 yrs. my surname is that of my late exh but same as DD. But I'm not married and so don't don't want to use Mrs.

Yes I agree - we often get retired medics and dentists come back to do doctorates in my subject - they cannot call themselves Dr in a university if they don't have a PhD.

I remember quite a few Ms X's at school. Pronounced 'Miiiiss', obvs. But we knew the difference.

My fabulous sister uses Ms MaidenName. She used it once she felt "grown up" and Miss didn't feel right, when she was married to husband#1, after shithead husband utterly betrayed her and she divorced his sorry arse, and after she married lovely husband #2.

I'm with you though op. I dislike the need for a title. I do go by Mrs of pushed but avoid it if at all possible. My mum will give her name as "Mrs X", and I've never done that! I also dislike when people assume Ms, but I can't put my finger on why. It must be some patriarchy shit, so I try and ignore my dislike!

Def wouldn't. Ton of work. Im a medical dr. Often not an option on forms. Even those that know your title still call you miss/Mrs

Does anyone actually refer to anyone by their title? Unless they are a teacher? And even then I'm just miss all day anyway

Actually it should be the other way round.

I do agree though that Mistress is nicer than 'Missus' - Madame is even better!