To do a PHD just to be able to use Dr?

[Confortableorwhat]

Unfortunately, I don't really think that's an option for me, but I need a title to use.

I currently use Mrs, have done for 30+ years, alongside late DH's surname. I married very young and TBH it never crossed my mind not to take his name and use the title, although I wouldn't do it now.

Anyway, I've been a widow for several years, I don't like using Mrs because I'm not married, I'm not a "Miss" and whilst I understand Ms is a solution for some, I don't actually know anyone who uses it IRL and find it awkward.

Is there a good option?

I agree @gimmegimmegimmeagin I am widowed and use Mrs, but I have a few online subscriptions, etc, where I have deliberately picked Lady, Rev or Dr. Who cares? The retailer or blogger, or whatever couldn’t care less, and it tickles me to be addressed as Dr E.K.S Bow. I have never claimed to have a qualification I don’t have, nor given medical advice, and obviously I don’t do it with .GOV websites or the like. Honestly, nobody cares.

E.T.A. my Facebook account has a false name as well. In fact, I have a whole group of real life friends who I meet up with weekly, whom I met through facebook and they don’t know my real surname.

The irony is that - at least in my social circles - many women with PhDs end up using ‘Ms’! It is what I do. I’m married and I have a PhD. I use ‘Dr’ professionally, of course, but my PhD is not relevant to anything outside of work, and being ‘Dr’ all the time inevitably leads to answering questions about it. But I don’t have the same last name as my husband, so neither Mrs Hisname or Mrs Myname make much sense. And I’m most definitely not ‘Miss’. This is very common amongst my PhD-holding friends and colleagues - and I have many. (I also happen to be of the opinion that your title shouldn’t need to change to tell everyone your marital status, men don’t do it!).

I've a PhD and I use Dr on forms where it is an option, if it's not I use Ms.

At my DC school, all the women are "Madam", I would definitely be looking for PhD or maybe a knighthood to avoid that one.

I doubt your brother did a PhD because he didn't like being called Miss or Mrs.

As you know yourself, it's a deeply silly idea, OP. Research and research a book composed of original research to standards deemed acceptible by the most qualified experts in the field -- a snap clearly.

The entire United States uses Ms without any problems. Use it, @Confortableorwhat -that's what it's there for!

Also, you can buy one of those small plots of land in Scotland and then insist on title Lady (or Laird).

I just omitted the title at every opportunity and just used my full name, if it was electronic and refused to let me go further without entering something I reluctantly used Ms. I don't believe you really need a title in most circumstances.

Noone cares or notices someone's title nowadays. I've always used Ms, just because I don't like the idea of people knowing if I'm single or not without me telling them.
If you use Dr, you'll just get bombarded with people asking you gross questions about their endless ailments as they'll assume you're a medical doctor!
Change your credit cards so they say 'Lady'. Lol. That might get you some sort of perks by a load of snobs?

5 years of hard work ( mine took 7) scrutinisation, late nights, stress and a whole lot of money seem a bit extreme not to called Mrs or Ms.
I did mine purely because I grew up being told I’d come to nothing. My own mother said my bachelor’s degree wasn’t a proper degree like my brother’s.
Would I do it again? No.

I was coming on to say that it’s only in schools that you get called Mrs but I see that is your exact problem! It is annoying- Madame or Senora etc in other European languages is much better where you’re called that as an adult woman whether you’re married or not!
Do the PhD!

There's lots of reasons to feel uncomfortable with the title Mrs but I am sure there's never been any idea that women whose husbands have sadly pre-deceased them should change their title. Widows have been Mrs for many hundreds of years.

All the women in my social circle who aren't Dr are Ms whether or not they are married though so it seems quite normal to me.

Do go ahead and study for a PhD if you wish though!

I'm always surprised when many Brits seem oddly reluctant to use Ms. When it came into being in (I believe) the 1970's, the whole point of it was to prevent women having to define themselves through their married or unmarried status in a world where all men were Mr. It's very common in the US, especially among women in the professions.

For medics who don't have a PhD, doctor is a courtesy title. People who have earned a PhD, on the other hand, are doctors of philosophy and their designated title is "Doctor".
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doctor_(title)

Been using Ms since my 20s. Personally, I think we should reinstate ‘Mistress’ as a title. I have at least one friend who admits her PhD solved the title issue very satisfactorily.

I think it's odder to use the term Dr when you are not a medic.

Ms would be much simpler. And easy.

Just use Ms or Mrs. I am not married and swap between Miss or Ms depending on how I am feeling.

I like the fact that despite not being married I appear to have graduated to a Madame in France.

I think we should re instate female titles based on age not marital status. Mistress was a common honorific for older women in early modern times. Or how about "Goodie" 😄

I'm sorry for your loss.

However, I think it is silly for that be the only motivation to undertake a PhD, it's a huge thing.

I am married and have always used Ms mysurname-Dhsurname. I actually regret changing though.

I shouldn't need to declare my marital status on forms where it is irrelevant, men don't have to!

I am quite a lot younger than my married friends and they use Mrs husband's surname.

I find it sad that in this day and age that women feel under pressure to do things like this, we are not the property of men.

Join one of the forces and then you can work your way up to Admiral of the Fleet, Field Marshal. or Marshal of the Royal Air Force. Or stop somewhere lower down the ranks. Squadron Leader sounds quite cool.

Pretty sure Squadron Leader would be my DS's favourite teacher!

Dr has not ever just meant medic. It didn't even mean medic first.

Exactly. It's only the under-informed who think so, and tend to come up with hilarious 'gotchas' about their friend who has a DPhil in the mating patterns of the luna moth being called upon to resuscitate a passenger in cardiac arrest on a flight, and oh gosh, the terrible embarrassment and dismay when the Truth Emerged...

I did a PhD in my 20s, it was so so hard! I don't think I could do it now in my 40s.
Just use Ms....

Pretty sure the op wasn't at all serious about doing a PhD for the title!

Just avoid using a title as much as possible, and then whichever of Mrs or Ms is the least worst option when it's unavoidable. Afaik most widows stick with whatever they used when their DH was alive but it's fine not to.

(Fwiw I've a PhD, use Dr sometimes but usually Mrs; if I was younger I'd probably have used Ms)

I think you should consider getting a dame-hood. That'll be cool.

I did this! No regrets.