I don’t know what do bully

[Mumguilt8]

Hi there, I just came in here for some advice please. So basically my son is in y9 and never really had trouble at school, good friendship group. Well over the weekend the 4 boys he chills with decided to turn on him for no reason( shocked) and sent him a text on Sunday saying they will jump him on Monday. He was stressed out and I told him ignore them and go find your other friends in school and chill with them. Monday came they were name calling him and he just ignored it. He then found a teacher who he told and she had a quick word and rang me and spoke to me and said it’s sorted. Well that night he was getting horrible messages from everyone saying he’s a snitch and he’s going get beaten up. I felt bad dropping him off and as I went work I got a call he got in a fight with one of the boys. They suspended the boy as he first and put my son in isolation. My son had was bruised and he was shaken up. That same night the amount of abuse the boys sent him was vile. They spread rumours that he got beaten up and he was scared they were saying. Today I’ve tried call school and they haven’t got back to me but I sent my son in school even though I felt really bad as he hasn’t ate or slept properly. Mum guilt came over and I went school about 10 to pick him up as I just felt like I couldn’t have him there and put him through it again. Teacher came saying I came take him as he’s in isolation due to that fight day before I said I don’t care I would like a intervention with their parents and school said no we can’t arrange this. I’ve take my son and at home. Did I do the right thing? Feel like they will only help everything a fight happens

Sorry my spelling is terrible lol just read that

Read the schools bullying policy. It should set out what they should be doing. The question would then be why they are not…

My daughter had some friends in isolation for sending horrible text / social media content etc so maybe check if they have a policy covering this too

Thank you will check this hun, I feel like I’ve over reacted but seen him like this and what it’s done in 3 days has just got me so upset for him

Sorry your son and you are going through this.

You next yo report to the police as an assault has taken place. Technically you don't need your sons co sent, but it's better all round if you can.

Call the school and ask for their behaviour policy (if you can't find it on the website). Ensure they are following all the steps and taking action to protect your son. Speak your the safeguarding lead and if things aren't resolved quickly escalate to the relevant governor.

This gov. Uk guidance might help

www.gov.uk/bullying-at-school

You need to do whatever it takes to protect your boy. If that means keep him at home, then keep him at home until it's safe for him to go back. Contact the parents yourself and home school him in the meantime. I know it's difficult. Kids can be so cruel.

You 100% did the right thing, I'm sure if a team was being treated like this by a colleague she'd want management to do something about it, it's so strange to me that children are supposed to just deal with it! It's so shitty when kids do this to each other (isolating one of the friendship group)
The school must have a anti bullying policy, do you know any of the other boys parents that you could talk with.. I would have gone crazy if I was told my son was bullying like this.

As you might know when it’s comes to high school I’ve only met the parents very briefly so I don’t have any numbers for them. My son is just so quiet and keeps asking me why they doing this. I have no answers only hugs.

They been messaging telling most of the school to meet by the church on Friday for a fight with my son.

Your poor son! You did the right thing taking him home. Unfortunately more or less the exact same thing happened to my son last year and it didn't get better. The school were horrific at dealing with it so we took him out and got him into a different school where he's really happy. Is this a possibility?

I’ve taken the phone off him so he doesn’t look at any messages but baffled why they are treating him like that. I would like the school to set up a meeting with other parents and maybe discuss what’s going on. School won’t facilitate this and said I need to police and they can’t do anything

Has he got the messages saved? I would be tempted to involve the police, he's been assaulted and receiving threats

I can't stand bullies. Ring the school and tell them unless they can guarantee his safety he won't be in school until they can, report the assault and the messages to the police too, they will follow it up. When my dd was being bullied and was being sent vile messages the police went to their houses and spoke to them and their parents.

OP what an awful situation for you and your DS. At least he knows you have his back. The school must step in - ask them meet the Head, check their bullying policy etc etc. I know it's easier said than done. Good luck

Police & keep your son off until it is dealt with

Thanks for the message I could cry. I can’t stop crying for him(obviously on my own) I just think it’s only been 3 days and he’s just lost himself

My son is normally a right cheeky chappy and is now just a boy I don’t know. I can’t help thinking he had no choice but defend himself in that fight when all the school were watching him

What did he snitch them up about?

This seems to be the crux of the issue.

he told the teacher as they started tripping him over as he went in next lesson and they said they were going to jump him after school by gates

He just told teacher that the boys have got a problem and are name calling and he has no idea why

If the fight took place outside of school they won’t necessarily do anything. Take screenshots of all the nasty things that have been said (if parents find out they might delete the messages) then go to the police. Next, speak to the safeguarding lead to find out how they are going to keep your son safe eg ‘buddying’ him up with someone. Do not speak to the parents or the children involved.

I’m waiting for school call as they were pissed off I took my child while in isolation.

I'd report to the police and keep him off school. Ask them to provide stuff for him to study so he doesn't fall behind. Tell them it's not a safe environment for him to enter.

I'd also look at alternative schools because this issue might not settle down. Some children/teens have a very big capacity for carrying grudges because it's entertaining for them to bully others.

We had to de register ds2 due to ongoing bullying. The only other places in society that are run like Lord of The Flies are prisons, but I guess you can at least leave school if it's totally unsafe.

It’s just baffling to know that these boys were just friends last week and now they doing this.

They taken his old pictures and put rude stuff on them and wrote vile things. Last message to him which I read was go die

Go to the police. If there are messages threatening to beat him up.on Friday and the school won't intervene you go to.the police.