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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I don’t know what do bully

40 replies

Mumguilt8 · 15/05/2024 14:02

Hi there, I just came in here for some advice please. So basically my son is in y9 and never really had trouble at school, good friendship group. Well over the weekend the 4 boys he chills with decided to turn on him for no reason( shocked) and sent him a text on Sunday saying they will jump him on Monday. He was stressed out and I told him ignore them and go find your other friends in school and chill with them. Monday came they were name calling him and he just ignored it. He then found a teacher who he told and she had a quick word and rang me and spoke to me and said it’s sorted. Well that night he was getting horrible messages from everyone saying he’s a snitch and he’s going get beaten up. I felt bad dropping him off and as I went work I got a call he got in a fight with one of the boys. They suspended the boy as he first and put my son in isolation. My son had was bruised and he was shaken up. That same night the amount of abuse the boys sent him was vile. They spread rumours that he got beaten up and he was scared they were saying. Today I’ve tried call school and they haven’t got back to me but I sent my son in school even though I felt really bad as he hasn’t ate or slept properly. Mum guilt came over and I went school about 10 to pick him up as I just felt like I couldn’t have him there and put him through it again. Teacher came saying I came take him as he’s in isolation due to that fight day before I said I don’t care I would like a intervention with their parents and school said no we can’t arrange this. I’ve take my son and at home. Did I do the right thing? Feel like they will only help everything a fight happens

OP posts:

Original poster

Mumguilt8 · 15/05/2024 14:28

I think I will contact police as school don’t care x

OP posts:

Justspeculating45 · 15/05/2024 14:29

Screenshot messages and send to the school and ask what they're going to do about the bullying. The bullying policy will be on their website.

Original poster

Mumguilt8 · 15/05/2024 14:30

School just said we can have a word but we can’t tell you what we said to other parent and we cannot tell you about the kids as it’s safe guarding. We can only tell you that we will keep eye on it

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igomeow · 15/05/2024 15:22

You've done the right thing by taking your sons phone, he doesn't need to see what they're saying.. Horrible little shits. Id report to the police.

Brefugee · 15/05/2024 15:25

tbh i'd be calling the police.
And checking the school's bullying policy.

ToxicChristmas · 15/05/2024 15:32

I'd call the school and tell them that you will be contacting the police and that you have a record of the threats and photos of the bruising. I'd also say that as he was assaulted on school property, you don't trust them to keep him safe while at school so will be keeping him off until this is resolved. Horrible little shits. I'd be mortified if I was one of their parents.

Sallycinnamum · 15/05/2024 15:48

Definitely keep him off school for the time being.

Frankly, secondary schools can be absolutely brutal no matter how 'good' and robust their bullying policies are.

I cannot wait until my two DC are out of the school system and they've not really experienced bullying as bad as this, just the usual teenage squabbles.

I'm so sorry you're both going through this.

Original poster

Mumguilt8 · 15/05/2024 15:50

Thank you everyone for the advice. I’m glad I took him out. Spoke to school who said they didn’t suspend my son and suspended the other child who he had fight with like I should be honoured!!! I said this could have been stopped but u let it over your head. I understand they can’t stop the messages but I just don’t want to send him school and wait for another fight to happen

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Nicole1111 · 15/05/2024 16:59

Ask them for their bullying policy and a document outlining how they have adhered to their own bullying policy. Then let them know you’re going to need them to give an account to the police as you plan to contact them since the school have been so ineffective. With any luck that’ll get them to take action.

Daisybuttercup12345 · 15/05/2024 18:31

BulldogMumma · 15/05/2024 14:16

I can't stand bullies. Ring the school and tell them unless they can guarantee his safety he won't be in school until they can, report the assault and the messages to the police too, they will follow it up. When my dd was being bullied and was being sent vile messages the police went to their houses and spoke to them and their parents.

This.
Involve the police.

Ella31 · 16/05/2024 01:20

The last message "go die" is enough to go to the police about. You have the numbers from that. I don't want to point out what they mean by "go die" but trust me the message is clear. Police can't ignore that.

Willywaitingforbreakfast · 16/05/2024 02:00

Do you know the parents or can you find them

Minniliscious · 16/05/2024 20:07

Definitely keep him off school for now. Lots of TLC and reassurance from you in the meantime.

Must be an awful time for you both. Horrible little bastards some kids are.

Original poster

Mumguilt8 · 16/05/2024 22:27

Thanks everyone! Well school rang and told me my son needs come in school and finish his isolation. They said the other two boys are also in isolation but different building and they have spoken to their parents. I asked my son how he feels and he said he will go in school but to pick him up half hour early at home time which teacher agreed. Tonight my son got 3 messages from the boys saying he is a snitch and to watch his back so clearly the parents have not locked this down for them and they still messaging. I’ve got my son phone and have screenshot them and forwarded to school. School have said they will speak to their school safe guarding officer first to see if they can get this fixed. I still contacted police who said they will visit on weekend, school were not too happy when I told them and said the messages are not that bad??? Whatttttt

OP posts:

Original poster

Mumguilt8 · 16/05/2024 22:31

The one he had a fight with is suspended for few days and the other little shits that are involved with messages and name calling are in isolation

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