To think it’s weird that they keep asking about where I live

Starbright9 · 2024-05-15T12:27:16+00:00

Recently moved into the village and I got talking to a school mum and they keep asking about which road I’ve moved onto and then trying to figure out which house I’m at and asking if I know my neighbours etc and they keep saying they never see my car there. They live about a 5/10 minute walk from mine and they have no reason to go onto my road apparently but have said they’ve walked up there a few times and not seen my car. Aibu to think it’s strange that they’re so bothered about where I live

fedupandstuck · 15/05/2024 13:30

Sounds like small village life, where the locals want to know everything about everyone that lives there!

ComtesseDeSpair · 15/05/2024 13:30

This is village life. People know their community and the people in it and its dynamics and are more invested in knowing the minutiae. Is there a particular reason you want to hide where you live? Even living in London, if I meet somebody who lives in the same postcode, we’ll exchange the names of the streets we live in or familiar landmarks to establish where we both are, it’s just curiosity and getting to know somebody.

KnickerlessParsons · 15/05/2024 13:32

Have you never lived in a village? 😁

TheCatJumps · 15/05/2024 13:32

When I moved from London to a village, it appeared to be a way of ‘placing you’ socially, partly because apparently this ghastly chocolate box was much ‘sought after” and parents with children at the village school (which had a wide catchment) used to pretend they lived in the village rather than in less glossy ones nearby.

We were apparently baffling because we rented, despite having lots of money, and because I cycled everywhere and didn’t drive, and had a FT job.

Original poster

Starbright9 · 15/05/2024 13:33

Never lived in a village before but that makes sense. It’s just myself and DC who have moved here after leaving an abusive relationship

OP posts:

Original poster

Starbright9 · 15/05/2024 13:35

Im kind of familiar with the area though as my mum lives a mile or so away

OP posts:

Rebusmyfire · 15/05/2024 13:35

Village life....
Trying to suss out your social status, if you are worthy of an invite to the young WI group, worthy of being on the summer fete committee or village show....

stayathomer · 15/05/2024 13:35

We had a lot of talk about us when we moved in, turned out the reason our house was so cheat was because the couple had split. They have a lot of family in the area. Didn’t help that I’d shot my mouth off about how bad a state it was in when we moved in and how strange it was they’d thrashed it so much and left so much behind (we get along great now though!)

Spirallingdownwards · 15/05/2024 13:36

They are wanting to check out where you fit in to their idea of social standing. Indeed the fact she has been round to check whether your car is there suggests she thinks you are lying!!

Original poster

Starbright9 · 15/05/2024 13:37

Spirallingdownwards · 15/05/2024 13:36

They are wanting to check out where you fit in to their idea of social standing. Indeed the fact she has been round to check whether your car is there suggests she thinks you are lying!!

That’s what I thought but I have no reason to. I just don’t really know anyone and trying to start afresh after leaving abusive relationship

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Pocketfullofdogtreats · 15/05/2024 13:39

The car thing is weird, even for a village. Have they no life? I'm guessing not.
I've lived in a village for 9 years. It has a posh end and a not-so-posh end. I am out with the dog a lot and always used to be asked, Do you live in the village? and then, Whereabouts?
Wait about 7 years and people will know, and give up asking 😄.
Actually, as everyone knows everyone, I say that I live in Marjorie Jones's house, who they know moved out 9 years ago, and this shuts them up because they can place me and accept me, I hope. If I don't like the look of them, I say I live 'near the school'.

coxesorangepippin · 15/05/2024 13:39

They're seeing if you are the same tribe

Just be polite and do your own thing

BobbyBiscuits · 15/05/2024 13:40

Each house in the village probably has its own history and local connotations. People tend to be like this in small rural communities. Even in my bit, in inner London, it's kind of an estate but not really, we do have a bit of curiosity if we meet a new person about which house/block they're in. Only really for context but just part of living somewhere a long time.
You could just tell them and then say 'oh gawd, it's not the haunted one is it?' and laugh.

User478 · 15/05/2024 13:46

In our village, if you've just moved in they say "Bovis or Persimmon" And the only acceptable answer is "neither"

Village life...

TheCatJumps · 15/05/2024 13:46

Pocketfullofdogtreats · 15/05/2024 13:39

The car thing is weird, even for a village. Have they no life? I'm guessing not.
I've lived in a village for 9 years. It has a posh end and a not-so-posh end. I am out with the dog a lot and always used to be asked, Do you live in the village? and then, Whereabouts?
Wait about 7 years and people will know, and give up asking 😄.
Actually, as everyone knows everyone, I say that I live in Marjorie Jones's house, who they know moved out 9 years ago, and this shuts them up because they can place me and accept me, I hope. If I don't like the look of them, I say I live 'near the school'.

This is true — I think I met everyone still living who’d lived in our house since it was built in the 70s, or their children if deceased (people never left, they just moved within the village), and as the previous owners had sold when they bought the local manor house , we appeared to be looked on as likely to do similar, hence the bafflement at our modest lifestyle.

TheFlis · 15/05/2024 13:49

If someone we meet asks where we live and we tell them they say “oh Paul and Barbara’s old house”. We have lived here for 4 years! It’s just village life.

Secondwifenotsecondbest · 15/05/2024 16:00

Tell them you work for MI5 and if you tell people where you live the secret service would have to 'make sure they kept it to themselves' with a serious look followed by a sinister smile or witness protection!

Boomer55 · 15/05/2024 16:06

Village life. They like to be over involved.😉

CruCru · 15/05/2024 16:07

Have you moved your children to the desirable, hard to get into school? I remember someone telling me that they’d met someone who’d moved into my street. However, when she said “Oh! What number? My friend Cru lives there” they got really evasive. Because they hadn’t actually moved there, they’d put the address down for school admissions.

KnickerlessParsons · 15/05/2024 16:07

Starbright9 · 15/05/2024 13:33

Never lived in a village before but that makes sense. It’s just myself and DC who have moved here after leaving an abusive relationship

Once you get used to everyone knowing everyone else's business, you'll like it.

Peachy2005 · 15/05/2024 16:36

Do you think she possibly thinks you are pretending to live there to get a place in the school?

How bizarre of her….better get used to whole village wanting to know your business 😂

MushMonster · 15/05/2024 18:01

If this is a village, I would give them my address and invite them for a cuppa and a playdate. And get used to it LOL.

Mama1209 · 18/05/2024 16:09

Starbright9 · 15/05/2024 13:33

Never lived in a village before but that makes sense. It’s just myself and DC who have moved here after leaving an abusive relationship

It’s understandable why you don’t want to divulge this info to just anyone and that you are on guard. I’d be the same. I’m sure it’s just curiosity.

Devon23 · 18/05/2024 16:13

Hoping for an invite for coffee no doubt.

Pettyman · 18/05/2024 16:34

So they can look on rightmove and nose around the inside of your house?