Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should I report to 101, stranger and my baby

106 replies

Bramblecrumble22 · 15/05/2024 09:21

I feel a bit shaken after an interaction. After the school run, I was putting my baby in the car seat and someone tapped my shoulder. I turned with baby in my arms and she said 'baby' and touched him, and but her hand near his armipit. She was stood very close and it felt like when you pass a baby over. I said 'what are you doing.' quite aggressively and she said 'no, no, I like babies' and squeezed his cheek then walked off quickly. I mean she could be lonely and love babies and want to innocently interact with them. She didn't speak much English either. But I just felt really uncomfortable. She wasn't as old as the ladies that often coo over him in the shops, so maybe that why i felt threatened. So aibu she just wanted to see and smile at a baby, very innocent and a cultural misunderstanding, or ainbu report to police in case it builds up a bigger picture and she will go on to kidnap.

OP posts:
CaptainMyCaptain · 15/05/2024 12:44

MyPerfectHotel · 15/05/2024 12:34

I knew she would be foreign. were there "some romanian looking men" closeby too?

The notorious Eastern European looking men driving vans aka Evri drivers.

Bearbookagainandagain · 15/05/2024 12:49

Looks like a few people on here might be stuck in the 80s...

Now it's not normal, it's super creepy and invasive, you are not overreacting. However I would put it down as a cultural difference, and wouldn't report it.

CaptainMyCaptain · 15/05/2024 12:53

Stuck in the 80s when people weren't paranoid if someone they didn't know looked at them and you didn't have to make an appointment to knock on someone's door. OK.

Bearbookagainandagain · 15/05/2024 13:01

CaptainMyCaptain · 15/05/2024 12:53

Stuck in the 80s when people weren't paranoid if someone they didn't know looked at them and you didn't have to make an appointment to knock on someone's door. OK.

Is that the situation described by OP? It's weird we must be on different thread.

I would also refer you back to the many cases of child abuse that are coming to light now from that period, where "we weren't scared of strangers looking at us".

Original poster
Bramblecrumble22 · 15/05/2024 13:04

Not in south London, am in the south east,.for those wandering. This is my local area and not normal behaviour for the area. I fairly often get English old ladies getting making a fuss over babies, probably the same people who did in the 80s.

OP posts:
TokyoSushi · 15/05/2024 13:07

Yes it's a bit weird, but there's nothing to report. I am interested however to know what goes on in South London?! Grin

Original poster
Bramblecrumble22 · 15/05/2024 13:08

No, there weren't any Romanian looking men... She was southern Asian, there is a big community here. That she was foreign is relevant for two reasons, 1 she didn't speak much English so went straight to touching and unable to explain her intentions, 2 culturally it may be more normal to invade strangers personal space.

OP posts:
CaptainMyCaptain · 15/05/2024 13:11

Bearbookagainandagain · 15/05/2024 13:01

Is that the situation described by OP? It's weird we must be on different thread.

I would also refer you back to the many cases of child abuse that are coming to light now from that period, where "we weren't scared of strangers looking at us".

Edited
Show quote history

As has already been pointed out the abuse was mostly from family members and youth group leaders/priests etc not elderly women admiring a baby.

WitchyWay · 15/05/2024 13:24

FuckTheClubUp · 15/05/2024 09:40

I’m not undermining the OP’s feelings at all. Did you miss the part where I said the exchange wasn’t nice?

Do you think the police have the resources to follow up on a report that’s been made for ‘invading people’s personal space?’ What other information does the OP have in order for the police to find out who this random stranger is? Again, do you really think they have the resources to do that?

Show quote history

Do you work for the police? So you don't know how they'll accept it do you.

If that woman has been harassing people locally, or there have been local reports of attempted snatchings (which do happen) it absolutely will form part of a bigger picture which is vital.

So yes, you were undermining her feelings. She felt intimidated and scared, which is absolutely enough to warrant a call to the non-emergency police line to talk it through. The police may then choose to look into it or they may choose not to, that's up to them.

TommyWooWoo · 15/05/2024 13:29

WitchyWay · 15/05/2024 13:24

Do you work for the police? So you don't know how they'll accept it do you.

If that woman has been harassing people locally, or there have been local reports of attempted snatchings (which do happen) it absolutely will form part of a bigger picture which is vital.

So yes, you were undermining her feelings. She felt intimidated and scared, which is absolutely enough to warrant a call to the non-emergency police line to talk it through. The police may then choose to look into it or they may choose not to, that's up to them.

Show quote history

So again, which category would this come under, when she rings the non-emergency police line? This site details the things you can call the police for (including via 101). I'm struggling to see which category this would fall under.

https://www.police.uk/pu/contact-us/what-and-how-to-report/what-report

MadKittenWoman · 15/05/2024 13:41

angstridden2 · 15/05/2024 12:20

On several holidays when children were young, and more recently with gc abroad hotel waiters have carried toddlers into the kitchen to show to colleagues. Kids usually reappeared shortly clutching chocolate! Try walking down the road in Greece where businessmen as well as ‘old ladies’ will pat them on the head. U.K. attitude seems to be overly stiff and suspicious these days. It seems sad.

This. I have Italian heritage; when DS was a baby, waiters would pick him up and carry him round. Young men would show an interest in him and ask me was I breastfeeding. People would offer to hold him on planes so that I could eat properly.

One of my best memories is when he was 5 months old and we were at Glastonbury ('locals' from the surrounding areas could pay to go for the day on the Sunday in those days). We were watching David Bowie from high up on a slope, and a couple of young men standing next to us asked to hold him and danced with him. I admit, I was a little worried at first but nothing untoward happened.

Some people are just genuinely happy to welcome the next generation.

JustEatTheOneInTheBallPit · 15/05/2024 13:55

Hijacking this thread to ask my own question:

It’s about my neighbour’s greenhouse. I’m concerned he might be about to start growing and selling cannabis on a large scale, because he’s had some serious luck with his tomato plants this year. WDYT?

Pocketfullofdogtreats · 15/05/2024 13:57

Re-reading the OP, it doesn't sound as if she was trying to take him, in fact she went out of her way to reassure you that she wasn't. What she did was inappropriate for the UK's norms, but maybe her 'normal' is different. I wouldn't have liked it and would feel shaken. But it's not a reportable matter.

Thulpelly · 15/05/2024 13:59

If someone kidnaps a baby, your report is not gonna help build any kind of ‘bigger picture’. The kidnapping bit will be big enough.
Also you have no idea who this person is.

Retrogamer · 15/05/2024 14:14

I had a similar experience OP, only the woman was English. I was sat with my mum eating breakfast and she came over - a complete stranger and started stroking my babies head and tweaked at his harness on the high chair. It was very unnerving. I stared at her and slowly stood up, trying not to cause her alarm, she backed off. I didn't call the police, I think she was unwell. However it certainly made me hyper aware when I'm out and about.

Mostlyoblivious · 15/05/2024 14:16

FuckTheClubUp · 15/05/2024 09:25

Sounds like a normal day in South London for me. Obviously it’s not nice that a randomer tried to hold your baby but I don’t understand what you’d even say to the police to report her? And report her for what? Being fucking weird?

Sorry edited to add this bit.

or ainbu report to police in case it builds up a bigger picture and she will go on to kidnap.

This is just extreme. Build up a bigger picture? Come on pls

Edited

Oh that first line made me roar

SeriaMau · 15/05/2024 14:35

I understand that in London the Met have a dedicated group for dealing with unprovoked baby interest. You could try contacting them, they are called the Special Branch. Even if they can’t help, they are always happy to chat.

Echobelly · 15/05/2024 14:48

I think it's just a cultural difference thing where she was from somewhere that puts less emphasis on personal space and there's an assumption women will just interact with babies and it's fine and normal in her mind. I wouldn't think anything deeper of it.

listsandbudgets · 15/05/2024 15:10

We have refugees living with us. The older lady has really struggled with English - I think I'd struggle to learn in my 60s for the first time too - and while I don't think she'd touch she may well try to initiate conversation or simply convey admiration for your DC by saying "baby" or maybe "good baby" then pointing and smiling. Kidnap would be the last thing on her mind she's got enough issues in her life without changing nappies Grin

Treesarenotgreene · 15/05/2024 15:14

Is this real?

Treesarenotgreene · 15/05/2024 15:15

So you're ok with white old ladies cooing over your baby but not a ' foreigner' 10/10 for the racist froth

listsandbudgets · 15/05/2024 15:18

@MadKittenWoman We used to go to a Thai resturant when DD was tiny partly because we got a rest!! An elderly Thai lady - the mother of the owner would waste no time in whisking DD away for a cuddle - she never took her out of our sight though. It was so nice to eat a meal without also juggling a wriggly baby

gindreams · 15/05/2024 15:20

Why on earth do these people think to report to 101
You do know that it actually wastes people time and that people who need the police can't get through

Tandora · 15/05/2024 15:22

Ahahahaha. 😂😂 this has to be one of the most mumsnetty posts ever.

baby kidnap . Really?

how many cases have you heard where babies were just snatched on the street by weird ladies, straight out of mummy’s arms 🤦🏼‍♀️.

Tandora · 15/05/2024 15:27

MyPerfectHotel · 15/05/2024 12:34

I knew she would be foreign. were there "some romanian looking men" closeby too?

yup. is this a case of everyday, good old fashioned racism/ xenophobia , or a threatened baby kidnap ? I wonder 🤔🤔