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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Kids birthday

48 replies

ivise · 15/05/2024 08:39

Hi , so my cousins daughter has a birthday, every year we go to hers as a family , our daughters loves to play , anyways this year she hasn't really said anything . All she mentioned is that she will take her daughter to MacDonald after school. She knows that every year they have it together at home , this year she seemed so unbothered, we haven't really got invite but I am bit upset for my daughter as why wouldn't u want to create fun memory for kids . My daughter will probably want to eat after nursery and I don't really want to go and sit there and for her to ask food if it isn't offered , so now I don't really know if I should go and also she hasn't really said to come or not .

OP posts:
QuiltedHippo · 15/05/2024 08:49

Shes not invited you. Plans change over the years, she doesn't owe you a party. Throw events for your own children if you want.

bloodyplumbing · 15/05/2024 08:50

Is she coming to yours when invited?

EmilyTjP · 15/05/2024 08:51

She doesn’t have to have a birthday party to please you and your daughter? Im
confused.

SleepingStandingUp · 15/05/2024 08:52

Just message her. Hey cousin, need to bring round nieces card and present, when's good for you?

Feed your kid before hand and teach them not to ask for food

SpringerFall · 15/05/2024 08:53

'Every year' sounds like a long time but your child is still at nursery?

Original poster
ivise · 15/05/2024 08:53

@QuiltedHippo I know she doesn't own me a party and I am not waiting for one . But it's only 2 kids and they always together at family gathering birthdays not a party . I am more upset that she doesn't consider my daughter . What shall I tell my daughter . I feel like it's nice to keep close and make memories x

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 15/05/2024 08:53

Or do you mean you don't want to go to MacDonalds and sit there is she isn't feeding your child? Why can't you feed her?

LightsOnSparklingTowers · 15/05/2024 08:55

She’s doing something different this year. Maybe her daughter wants to just go to McDonald’s with her mum or maybe she’s going with school friends. Things change

NerrSnerr · 15/05/2024 08:56

Why don't you invite her and her daughter to yours over the next couple of weeks and then your daughter can play and make memories then.

How old is the cousin? If she's school age she could be having a party with her school friends this year.

Original poster
ivise · 15/05/2024 08:56

Everyone got confused 😃😃😃😅😅
I am not saying her to feed my child
We both always invite each other children on their birthdays, treat them with MacDonald or whatever u know , nothing fancy or big , almost like tradition.
This year she just said I am taking my daughter after school ( she didn't ask us ) and she didn't really ask to come round hers ,just mentioned that her bf mum is coming . Also that she is taking her out on the weekend , didn't ask if I would like to come. For me it's more like I feel she is trying to avoid us but I just feel sad that my daughter will miss out on memories like that

OP posts:
CatamaranViper · 15/05/2024 08:56

How old is the cousin?
My DS is 7 and we don't invite his 3 year old cousin to his parties because she just isn't old enough to do the things he wants to do.

You can't demand others have parties to keep your child happy. Host your own

Muffin101 · 15/05/2024 08:57

This is so weird, she doesn’t owe your daughter anything on HER daughters birthday. Just organise another day for a play date, it’s not hard.

Wendysfriend · 15/05/2024 08:57

If your cousin just wants to bring her DD for McDonald's maybe they just want to spend it together and not have a party.

Is it possible you could ask to join in with getting a burger and pay yourself ?

Original poster
ivise · 15/05/2024 08:58

@Wendysfriend I am more confused whenever I should come or not as she hasn't really mentioned it . I don't really want to like go and keep asking what I should do for her daughter party , I feel like if she wanted she will tell me x

OP posts:
NerrSnerr · 15/05/2024 09:00

Just arrange another day to see your cousin. Message her and ask if she wants to meet up.

Original poster
ivise · 15/05/2024 09:01

@bloodyplumbing yes we always pop to each other on them days . Nothing fancy or big , just to be there ,more for kids .

OP posts:
CatamaranViper · 15/05/2024 09:01

If your dd is in nursery she's hardly going to remember one day she didn't go to cousin's house

WindowViper · 15/05/2024 09:02

I feel like if she wanted she will tell me

Yes exactly. She hasn’t, because she’s not arranging a birthday thing this year. Your child won’t care/ notice unless you whinge about it.

Original poster
ivise · 15/05/2024 09:03

@CatamaranViper she is 4 , she is big enough to remember, she has already mentioned it to me

OP posts:
bloodyplumbing · 15/05/2024 09:03

How old is your daughter @ivise ?

bloodyplumbing · 15/05/2024 09:03

bloodyplumbing · 15/05/2024 09:03

How old is your daughter @ivise ?

Sorry cross posted

bloodyplumbing · 15/05/2024 09:04

ivise · 15/05/2024 09:03

@CatamaranViper she is 4 , she is big enough to remember, she has already mentioned it to me

Really? That's impressive.

Original poster
ivise · 15/05/2024 09:04

@WindowViper oh sorry that I want my family to keep close and make memories on special days , didnt know that is called whinging

OP posts:
Ereyraa · 15/05/2024 09:05

4 year olds don’t know when their cousin’s birthdays are, and they don’t know what date it is either

You must have mentioned it to her

TipsyKoala · 15/05/2024 09:05

A 4 yo would only know it’s her cousin’s birthday if you’re telling her and getting her excited about a party that’s not happening. Stop encouraging her and she won’t even think about it.