To ask what is likely to be my fate?

[CheeriosOrFrosties]

My poor DCat has diarrhoea. I contacted the vet who said to try giving some "digestive function paste" for a few days to see if that will help.

Most cats find it delicious, they said. Most cats will just lick it off your fingers, they said.

Dear reader, mine did not.

I'm here alone, so needs must - I popped him between my legs to hold him in place, and attempted to squirt it into his mouth.

If I tried again, I would not ever be able to recreate the particular set of circumstances, but somehow, I had my mouth open whilst trying to squirt the paste into his mouth (probably talking to said DCat, telling him to keep the fuck still it was all going to be fine) and as he flicked his head away in protest, he flicked some of the paste into my mouth.

There is a big sign on the tube: WARNING. NOT FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION.

The ingredients is an absolutely revolting sounding "enterococcus faecium"

I tried to spit it out as fast as possible but who knows whether I managed to get rid of it all. I've mouthwashed my mouth (twice) and cleaned my teeth, but I don't know what else I can do.

A quick google suggests that human infection with enterococcus faecium bacteria has a 36% mortality rate, so that's really fun to know.

What do you reckon my chances are?

Pshhhwshhwshhhhwshhhhh?

Meow?

Oh my goodness, you lucky thing! It’s a shame good job I live nowhere near there otherwise I’d be doing nothing other than standing outside the cottage waiting for a glimpse!

The first part, thankfully not! The latter is a frequent occurrence anyway - perhaps I am already part cat?

I have survived the night/day! No extra whiskers noticed (although I'm sure DS will happily point some out if asked), I did have some lovely "dreamies" (although sadly not about Jamie Dornan) and can confirm I have not become stuck in the catflap. Although with the amount of carbs I've eaten today it's possible I might not make it out of my front door tomorrow, so I had better not speak too soon about that!

Next time wrap the cat up in a towel like a burrito and he wont be able to squirm around too much while you administer the medicine.

Glad you seem to have lived to tell the tale :)

Don't you mean tell the tail?

Chance of catching the cat a second time? Slim to none.

My cat has painkillers at the moment which I administer by pipetting into the middle of a tiny mound of squirty cream. Yes I know it's not good for cats but she thinks it's a treat and seems much happier. She is actually asking for it at the dose time.

Oh no 😱🤪😂 I’ve found this post and am looking to see if OP is now cat woman 😆
the probiotic paste for dogs with upset stomachs seems to be very palatable my dog loves it and will lick their food bowl clean to get any last tiny bit of it , shame they don’t make the cat version as nice ( for cats )
I have had ear cleaner in my face and eyes though 😳 dog doesn’t like that at all 🤪

You'll be fine I doubt you ingested much.

Just stay close to the litter tray just in case.

Hahaha made me laugh!

I've found that smothering a cat pill in Marmite works for most cats (every cat that we've had)
could you try mixing it with Marmite or seeing if your cat will lick Marmite off your finger to test it first?
xx

It's quite difficult finding a suit that accommodates the primordial pouch, unfortunately.