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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Sexual assault during hotel stay

159 replies

Tripadvisornotloading · 14/05/2024 19:09

Myself and 3 friends booked a spa night at a popular hotel on the Wirral.
A drugged up strange man broke into one of the rooms during the night and got into a bed with one of the young ladies and sexually assaulted her, we were subsequently all traumatised and extremely upset. We were up with police most of the night giving statements, the doors on the rooms were different and one automatically locked, so we’ve assumed the other did - it didn’t as it wasn’t a fire door. We spent most of the time in the bigger room (with the fire door) getting ready etc as a group so had gotten used to the door slamming locked.
Anyway, during the night and next morning the reception assured us both rooms would be free of charge. We had already paid for lunch, dinner and drinks as and when purchasing. We spent a considerable amount in the short amount of time we were there.
Then as the lead guest on the booking I contacted the hotel the following Monday to ask guest relations to call me - I just wanted to clarify - as directed by reception staff - whether there was a key card used to enter the room or if the door was faulty, I didn’t put any information within the email; just that I would like management to give me a call.
I got a rude email back, not asking about the welfare of the assaulted party or other traumatised guests but demanding payment for the rooms - the ones we had been told were free of charge.
I then get further threats of taking me to a debt collection agency and pay the bill in full for both rooms.
Now 7 months down the line I get an email from
TripAdvisor asking for a review, I post a review stating what happened and how the management l/guest relations have responded and treated us and the management have said it’s completely inaccurate and they’ve only asked for payment for food and drinks! I’m absolutely raging! I’ve tried to edit my review to include the screenshots of emails stating the exact amount in question is for the 2 rooms but it won’t let me edit my review, I’ve then tried to post another review to back up the initial review and it’s only bringing my camera roll up to post from earlier today, I’ve deleted and redownloaded the app etc to no avail - I can’t get them posted to back up my version of events

OP posts:
Londonrach1 · 14/05/2024 20:46

Trip advisor won't publish this. I did a honest bad review once and it was never published as I hadn't stayed there, despite the fact I sent the booking details to trip advisor. All good reviews (every other place been too) is published no question. How does your friend feel about her personal information shared. Did you report to the police. Has your friend seen anyone about the attack. I hope she got support

StormingNorman · 14/05/2024 20:46

Tripadvisornotloading · 14/05/2024 20:17

This is really good advice, thankyou.
Its because the seriousness of the situation that him accusing me of lying on the review has really felt like he’s rubbing salt in the wounds.
We and the police have video evidence from one of our quick thinking friends phones of him in just boxies screaming at us saying he’s going to kill us all whilst being physically removed from the room by staff so having the hotel on side isn’t a concern. He had also stuffed wet tissue in the peep holes of the door and had cocaine all over his face/ the bathroom. He had been in the room an unknown amount of time before my friend had realised as she had a nytol and went to bed so was drowsy. She assumed anyone moving around the dark room was our other friend who was staying in the other bed. The hotel staff had already made their statements on the night, the staff we actually can not fault, it’s the management and whoever is responsible for ensuring the correct doors were in place that I feel owe us a huge apology and acknowledgment of their wrongdoings.

Correct doors? I thought it was your friends who forgot to check the door was locked.

Not to victim blame in any way, but just stick to the facts. Don’t let the narrative carry you away.

Tosstyhat · 14/05/2024 20:47

You can upload photos to trip advisor, FYI. Upload the evidence with any personal details redacted. That'll teach the GM to be a liar!

muggart · 14/05/2024 20:48

Well I've found the review online and then looked up the hotel on companies house and found the name & LinkedIn of the big director guy in charge. Would you like to send him a message on there?

I just don't know if I'm allowed to post it here. Maybe it's better if you DM me and then I can send it to you privately.

Tripadvisornotloading · 14/05/2024 20:55

StormingNorman · 14/05/2024 20:46

Correct doors? I thought it was your friends who forgot to check the door was locked.

Not to victim blame in any way, but just stick to the facts. Don’t let the narrative carry you away.

No I didn’t say that anywhere?
Room 1 - we used this as a group to get ready - door had a fire door thing at the top which made it slam and lock behind you which was noted as we were in and out of the two rooms opposite eachother getting clothes makeup etc whilst getting ready, we ended up propping it up with a chair for a little while during the day as we were having to get up and down to let others back in when we were just putting shoes accessories etc on
Room 2 - this was the room where the assault took place, smaller of the two. Door would close when left but wouldn’t lock, this wasn’t picked up on until the morning when the police noticed the difference in the mechanism of the doors.
The incident was early hours Saturday morning, on the Monday I attempted to contact the management as directed by reception staff to try and clarify if a key card was used just because although we noticed the issues with the door one of the parties was very upset blaming herself for it as she was questioning if she had closed the door - although the victim confirmed she heard it slam - it should’ve locked and didn’t. The hotel wouldn’t speak to me at all over the phone which suggests they knew the door wasn’t the legally required ones and they didn’t want to say anything that could be used against them, though this wasn’t my intention I just wanted to make my friend feel better as she was hysterically crying blaming herself all weekend.

OP posts:
Tripadvisornotloading · 14/05/2024 20:56

muggart · 14/05/2024 20:48

Well I've found the review online and then looked up the hotel on companies house and found the name & LinkedIn of the big director guy in charge. Would you like to send him a message on there?

I just don't know if I'm allowed to post it here. Maybe it's better if you DM me and then I can send it to you privately.

That would be amazing thankyou! I’ll figure out how to DM now, I'm not the best at using MN! X

OP posts:
Tripadvisornotloading · 14/05/2024 20:57

Tosstyhat · 14/05/2024 20:47

You can upload photos to trip advisor, FYI. Upload the evidence with any personal details redacted. That'll teach the GM to be a liar!

When I try and post it the screenshots of bank transactions and emails aren’t in my camera roll. They’re the most recently taken photos so it’s some kind of tech glitch but I’ve tried and tried 😖

OP posts:
BarcardiWithGadaffia · 14/05/2024 20:59

Tripadvisornotloading · 14/05/2024 20:57

When I try and post it the screenshots of bank transactions and emails aren’t in my camera roll. They’re the most recently taken photos so it’s some kind of tech glitch but I’ve tried and tried 😖

Does you phone keep screenshots in a different folder to actual photos taken with the camera, mine does and I accees s few shots via photos app rather than the camera

Might be worth checking that

UnctuousUnicorns · 14/05/2024 21:00

Tripadvisornotloading · 14/05/2024 20:02

Its in Thornton Hough and has a spa and hosts numerous weddings

Thought it was that one. I'm a native of Wirral myself, though moved away 28 years ago.

IsEveryUserNameBloodyTaken · 14/05/2024 21:07

I’m absolutely appalled.Firstly that it happened and now the cover up.

PenPotter · 14/05/2024 21:22

Tripadvisornotloading · 14/05/2024 20:56

That would be amazing thankyou! I’ll figure out how to DM now, I'm not the best at using MN! X

Three dots at the top of the person's post gives you options, one of which is PM for private message. Be aware in the PM box that if you press enter the message sends so if you want to add another paragraph then shift and enter. Hope that helps. I agree Google review and mention the Tripadvisor review. I am so sorry this happened.

CypressSunflower · 14/05/2024 21:28

Tripadvisornotloading · 14/05/2024 20:57

When I try and post it the screenshots of bank transactions and emails aren’t in my camera roll. They’re the most recently taken photos so it’s some kind of tech glitch but I’ve tried and tried 😖

I know this sounds daft but are you scrolling the right way on the photo library. Sometimes it’s up for older photos sometimes is down and vice versa. Caught me out a few times as I’m a dinosaur.

StormingNorman · 14/05/2024 21:44

Tripadvisornotloading · 14/05/2024 20:55

No I didn’t say that anywhere?
Room 1 - we used this as a group to get ready - door had a fire door thing at the top which made it slam and lock behind you which was noted as we were in and out of the two rooms opposite eachother getting clothes makeup etc whilst getting ready, we ended up propping it up with a chair for a little while during the day as we were having to get up and down to let others back in when we were just putting shoes accessories etc on
Room 2 - this was the room where the assault took place, smaller of the two. Door would close when left but wouldn’t lock, this wasn’t picked up on until the morning when the police noticed the difference in the mechanism of the doors.
The incident was early hours Saturday morning, on the Monday I attempted to contact the management as directed by reception staff to try and clarify if a key card was used just because although we noticed the issues with the door one of the parties was very upset blaming herself for it as she was questioning if she had closed the door - although the victim confirmed she heard it slam - it should’ve locked and didn’t. The hotel wouldn’t speak to me at all over the phone which suggests they knew the door wasn’t the legally required ones and they didn’t want to say anything that could be used against them, though this wasn’t my intention I just wanted to make my friend feel better as she was hysterically crying blaming herself all weekend.

I wouldn’t assume a door was locked, it would be a reflex action to check (but I’m the type to double beep my car) so I misinterpreted your post thinking that your friends would have checked the door rather than assumed it was locked.

Tripadvisornotloading · 14/05/2024 21:46

Londonrach1 · 14/05/2024 20:46

Trip advisor won't publish this. I did a honest bad review once and it was never published as I hadn't stayed there, despite the fact I sent the booking details to trip advisor. All good reviews (every other place been too) is published no question. How does your friend feel about her personal information shared. Did you report to the police. Has your friend seen anyone about the attack. I hope she got support

They have done and they were more empathetic than the hotel. They’ve insisted it’s important for this kind of feedback as safety is paramount for guests. I was surprised.
The man has been charged and appeared in court already. We have solid evidence. Thankyou she has lots of support

OP posts:
Tripadvisornotloading · 14/05/2024 21:48

StormingNorman · 14/05/2024 21:44

I wouldn’t assume a door was locked, it would be a reflex action to check (but I’m the type to double beep my car) so I misinterpreted your post thinking that your friends would have checked the door rather than assumed it was locked.

I think usually she would have but the other door slamming locked being an inconvenience throughout the day was a topic of conversation as someone would pop to the other room for a pair of shoes or a bag and be locked up so we were up and down letting people back in so ended up propping the door open towards the end as we were fully dressed and just getting our last bits together so she was really upset thinking it was her fault so I was hoping for the hotel to say ‘he had a key card’ then that way no one could blame themselves as we could’ve left a keycard anywhere between us or reception may of given him one in error but my friend was absolutely inconsolable at the thought she did something wrong.

OP posts:
ticketproblems · 14/05/2024 22:02

The manager, Geoff Dale, is rude to all those who don’t give 5* reviews. Awful person.

I hope you get justice. Does sound like they’ve fucked up.

Besidetheseaside1 · 14/05/2024 22:03

I too found your review from google & the hotels response is shockingly unprofessional. Sorry I can’t help with editing the review etc OP but I would definitely try to find out a way if I were you!

LifeIsJustOneBigWTAF · 14/05/2024 22:08

I've seen your TA review and the response from the GM. I've also read his responses, and those of the Guest Services person, to other poor reviews. Jesus wept, they could do with a training course or two (one in humanity wouldn't go amiss). What a pair of classless horrors.

Could one of your friends post another review on TA (and Google) using your screenshots? Also contact the hotel owner (although I suspect they might be as scummy as the managers they employ).

I hope you get some satisfaction and that your friend recovers from her horrific experience.

TheBestEverMouse · 14/05/2024 22:20

I'm staggered the general manager fails to apologise for the experience of your friend who was sexually assaulted. And instead argues the toss about the bill!

Tripadvisornotloading · 14/05/2024 22:22

A kind MN’er sent me the directors linked in so I’ve signed up and sent them a message but he doesn’t seem to have read it yet, you never know he may of been unaware of the whole situation and offer at least a genuine apology. At least he will be aware of how his management team treat his paying customers.

I’ve stayed there a few times and each time had issues - nothing serious. During Covid there was takeaway food from the previous guests left on the balcony and the room hadn’t been hoovered, there was clothes tags/stickers and labels all over the floor etc, if that happened now I wouldn’t bat an eyelid but at the time it was when you could very first have a leisure stay at a hotel so everyone was still very germaphobic, we asked for a clean room and they weren’t apologetic, they came up to the room ‘to check’ I was telling the truth and begrudgingly moved us to a smaller room, I do feel as if the staff are told to question every complaint instead of trying to ensure the guests are happy. On that occasion the receptionist didn’t even look at us during check out and was speaking to another member of staff through the back instead of engaging with us or asking about our stay, what they didn’t realise is we were newly engaged and it was a potential wedding venue for us but after that experience we didn’t bother.

The evening before the incident some of the waiters were rude, we were the last table and they practically shouted at one of us to order quicker and refused us dessert - just minor things but overall you leave kind of deflated, the only reason I rebooked is they do cheap deals and you get access to the spa, it worked out cheaper than a night out for my birthday and was meant to be a relaxing alternative as we have young children 🥲 it was far from it in the end!

Thanks for everyone’s advice and support 💐

OP posts:
TokyoSushi · 14/05/2024 22:23

I'm not sure that Tripadvisor is the right place for this, I used to be a front desk/duty manager in various 5* hotels and thus would have been an absolutely enormous deal if it had happened at mine with a full investigation and endless reports.

If the GM isn't interested then I'd go straight to head office who should look after you.

Tripadvisornotloading · 14/05/2024 22:31

TokyoSushi · 14/05/2024 22:23

I'm not sure that Tripadvisor is the right place for this, I used to be a front desk/duty manager in various 5* hotels and thus would have been an absolutely enormous deal if it had happened at mine with a full investigation and endless reports.

If the GM isn't interested then I'd go straight to head office who should look after you.

I’ve messaged the director on linked in but I don’t think they’ve seen it.
I don’t think it’s a chain, once I settled into bed I’ll have a search online and find out if it is.
Honestly I can’t believe the way this has been handled by the hotel. They’ve made themselves look guilty with the obvious refusal to call me to discuss things.
They can avoid my calls all they want but if I wanted to take legal action I have evidence of the doors and also video evidence of the incident along with police reports and victim statements. It’s a shame it’s going down this route, a heartfelt apology and maybe a bunch of flowers for my friend could’ve possibly resolved any bad feeling towards the hotel back when it happened, it probably would’ve not only stopped us seeking legal action, leaving bad reviews and emailing the director but possibly helped my friend in dealing with and healing from what’s happened as it’d been handled more sensitively.

OP posts:
coldcallerbaiter · 14/05/2024 22:36

I am really really sorry to hear it. I do not mean to minimise it but wanted to say It’s why I always pack a couple of different door wedges and put a chair up against the door to make a clatter when moved. I have made sure my daughter does the same.

Hope they get the bastard.

helpfulperson · 14/05/2024 22:41

Have you spoken to the police since you asked the hotel? I wonder if the hotel isn't wanting to answer because it's a live investigation

ClareBlue · 14/05/2024 22:41

There response comes across as only bothered about if you paid for a room or just food. Nothing showing any empathy for someone assaulted in their hotel or how they will try and prevent it happening again. I have read it just as a potential customer and they come across as dicks, your review is fine and you have made your point.
Not being believed is another thing on top of the shock of what happened, but I would let it go. It's obvious you haven't made it up or they would refer to the SA as a lie, which they don't. You have increased awareness of room security by your post and that's the main thing. Every women reading it will be checking their hotel doors, even if not staying there, and that's got to be positive.