To ask if anyone has found menopause just fine?

[ChristmasGutPunch]

Another day another article about how I can expect my brain to fall out my ear any day now. "I forgot how to do my job!" and so forth. I'm sanguine about ageing (saggy jaw aside) but I really don't want to become wrong in the head so young. Please can you reassure me it's ok for some women??

I’m 53 and got HRT (the lowest dose) about a year ago. I was still having regular periods etc etc but I got bad insomnia and the HRT helped massively. I also have anxiety but I’ve always had that so I can’t judge on that one.

I went on HRT for the heart and bone protection that it offers really but I’m glad I can sleep again as I have to work until I’m in my mid 60s.

I was fine. Went through it with no moods, hot flushes or anything else
I was exceptionally lucky.

Post meno and one of the lucky ones. The odd warm flush and a bit grumpy but as DB observed, who'll notice the difference from how you are usually?

The worst thing for me has been hot flushes and maybe a bit more moodiness, but that may be down to bad stuff that has happened rather than the menopause. Forgetting names, words etc., again not sure if just down to age (66). Otherwise I have pretty much sailed through mine, and it would not enter my head to pursue HRT. I did suffer from very painful periods when I was younger, so to be free of all that is pure joy.

I was fine with it. I had a few night sweats, but that was all. It's just luck. My mother and aunt were similar.

I went through early menopause and was bombarded with information (daisy network) about how I was supposed to feel. Absolutely none of it true. In fact I was very happy at no more periods.

Also I had a few hot flushes (no full on bed soaking night sweats or anything) and that was all.
I think the media hype paints a very negative picture of menopausal women; that we are all grumpy with brain fog, anxiety and are not able to function.

It will put employers off us if we are not careful

I’m 52, always been independent and hold down a fairly demanding job but where it really affects me is at home. I hate driving to a place I’ve never been before whereas previously I didn’t bat an eyelid. I can’t cook a curry now without fretting over the ingredients and method.

Eight of us:
Two just had irregular periods for a couple years then they stopped. No other symptoms.
One has the odd hot flush but nothing else.
Two others had symptoms bad enough that they felt the need to go on low dose HRT.
The remainder had the occasional hot flush, a few other symptoms but not bad enough that they felt HRT was needed
No one had their brain fall out of their ear, no one went mad. Just some annoying things but still all managed to work/parent/live their lives as normal.
My mother had a horrific time back in the 1970s. I was really dreading it. I got lucky.

OH stopped having periods and had some hot flushes, lower sex drive but that was it. She didn't start shoplifting or anything useful

I had a hysterectomy in my early 40s and early 50s now with no clue if I've been through it or not! Kept my ovaries. Am fatter around the middle but eat a lot of sweets. No brain fog thankfully or anything.

Final period aged 56. A few hot flushes before then but nothing crazy. Periods just stopped and didn't have any heavier/shorter/longer ones.

I know a lot of my friends have struggled with various symptoms of peri/menopause and they are on HRT which they find really helps them.

There is research that menopause age and symptoms are genetic so I guess you are likely to have a menopause like your mums. I don't remember my mum mentioning any symptoms and I never noticed any. She died a few years ago so couldn't ask her.

The biggest thing for me was horribly heavy periods- extremely painful, bleeding through clothes regularly. Sometimes every two weeks and would last for a week. Thank the LORD they’re finished now. I was dreading the next one, panicking about work/ social commitments and how I’d cope.

I think people find that embarrassing to talk about, so they sometimes reach for ‘I’m struggling because of brain fog/ night sweats/ hot flushes’. I’ve not had much of that at all - but it’s easier to talk about isn’t it?

I did. Late 50's now. My periods just stopped. I had the odd hot flush but that was it. I do appreciate I seem to have got off lightly though

I made the same decision! In my late thirties, I read a book that talked about perimenopause, and it said it could go on for 10-15 years, and I thought, I'm not having any of that bullshit! Looking back, I think I had some symptoms, like stiff ankles after sitting, that eventually went away when I started taking fish oil, and took up a modest form of yoga and did foot exercises some years later. No hot flushes. Came out the other side very happy for a few years, and then the pandemic and so on kind of killed the buzz... But it was not a big deal for me, and I think deciding to ignore it helped! I use ovestin, but no systemic hrt.

I was fine.
I really dislike the way that a normal part of our life is being pathologised.
Yes, some women have a bad time, and I feel for them, just as some women have difficult periods. But it doesn't have to be addressed as though it's the norm.
And, at the end of it all I feel liberated and happier plus I don’t give a shiny shit what anyone thinks of me.

I was expecting the worst after terrible puberty, Bipolar Disorder, pre menstrual syndrome, awful periods, post natal illness but, I sailed through menopause! Extra heavy periods but only had one alternate months for 6 months and hot flushes twice a week also for 6 months. Done. TMI sorry but A bonus I didn't know about was no more vaginal discharge despite dryness not being an issue.

@MaMisled Not tmi at all - I don't have any other symptoms yet but find myself missing that a bit (weird I know it just felt like it was keeping things tidy).

My relative decided it wasn’t going to affect her and it didn’t 😜

That's really not how it works. Hormones are real, powerful things which have strong physical effects on many processes in the body. They aren't 'all in your head'. Menopause symptoms vary hugely from woman to woman. Your relative was lucky, not in control.

I'm 52 and my periods are only just beginning to go irregular. They got very heavy for the last few years though. I can definitely be a bit foggy-headed these days and was beginning to suffer from poor sleep, anxiety and sometimes palpitations. I started taking two supplements a couple of months ago and the anxiety and palpitations have completely gone. Sleep and brain fog have improved too.

Well, that was how it worked for me. I don't think pathologising symptoms is helpful, unless they actually are debilitating - which for me, they weren't. A lot of younger women are working themselves up into a lather of dread as all they ever hear about is the worst-affected 25% of women's experience, and for many of us it really isn't all that bad at all.

Totally agree with @Sausagenbacon. I'm 4 years post and it was unremarkable and fine. If women have major symptoms/issues they should have access to medical assistance and work/life support as suits them best but pathologising the whole thing for everyone is ridiculous.

I've found my 50s liberating and not having periods, ever, is brilliant!

Absolutely no problems at all and I don't know anyone else out of family, school friends and x colleagues with the exception of a few x colleagues who became obese as they got older or were always overweight. Rather than address health issues caused by their weight they blame everything on the menopause!

Well, that was how it worked for me. I don't think pathologising symptoms is helpful, unless they actually are debilitating - which for me, they weren't. A lot of younger women are working themselves up into a lather of dread as all they ever hear about is the worst-affected 25% of women's experience, and for many of us it really isn't all that bad at all

And for me. A friend is approaching peri and getting in a bit of a doodah about the whole thing. She asked me for advice and I told her that the only advice I can give her is that menopause is individual - she might sail through it, she might not. The best she can do is arm herself with as much info as possible and read it critically. And to bear in mind that menopause is a massive industry as well as a health issue.

I thought I was sailing through it having listened to friends having a tough time. I began hrt 4 years ago to protect bones and heart. Then at 52 my regular light periods became more frequent with heavy bleeding. Having to leave work to change my clothes and bathe.

Things were ok ish, though some brain fog.

This last month has me beside myself. I'm 54 in a stressful job. I've imposter syndrome, insomnia and now awful anxiety. No interest in anything. The anxiety came two weeks ago and is truly awful.

I'm still taking oestrogen, gel and progesterone and also off license testogel.

I'm considering ssri as I can't go on like this.

My dear MiL (aged 84) is of the view that menopausal problems are a made up, modern thing. This is based entirely on her own experience. The truth is, like anything else, we're all different.

My mum claims to have sailed through it and says that her periods just stopped with no pre-amble (quite early - 46), but I remember her having hot flushes. She also claims that she had no grey hair until she was in her 60’s - also definitely not the case!

I’m early 40’s and feel like I’m in the waiting room. Hoping it won’t be too bad!