To hate the vacuousness of some young girls nowadays?

[CarryOnCharon]

I find it so sad. 12 year olds obsessed by beauty brands, TikTok, doing their hair for school, fake tan, ridiculously short school skirts, it all seems so sad. And they are clones. Room in their heads only for brands

i know this is not all of them.

Who is allowing them access to tiktok?
Who is giving them the money for their fake tan and their branded clothes? It's their parents.

As for doing their hair for school...er? Do you not do your hair when you leave the house? Or go to work?

Who gets to decide that self care is "vacuous "? Honestly, girls and women go through enough criticism just for existing as it is. Leave it alone.

When I was 12 in the 70s I was into the Avon Pretty Peach collection and that was just soap, bubble bath and hand cream.

Isn't this just the world now?
Easy for me to be a bit "cool" about it though. My teenager does her best to not conform. In fact, the way she usually dresses is now coming back into fashion, she's fucking horrified, and it's giving me quite a few laughs!

I think we're force fed so many advertisements and beauty standards throughout each day, it's quite concerning...

I think parenting can tackle it a bit though, DD was always brought up with the idea that individuality is cool, and to the substance of your own personality instead of following the crowd, because the crowd seems to be a bit lame. Its all about image, and appearing some kind of way, instead of having good qualities as a person.

Hmm - doesn’t seem too different to being a teenager in the 90s and wanting to buy stuff in the Body Shop like all the other girls 😂

But the social media aspect is concerning - I really wish all parents would stick together and not let their kids on TikTok until 16. I find it very damaging.

Am I mad to think youngsters have it hard these days. In my day we could rebel by going to a festival, sticking a colour or three in our hair during the summer holidays - those beyond the pale might get a tattoo or smoke a joint.
These days parents don't relinquish the trappings of youthful experimentation, what can the young do to shock their parents - threaten to become Chartered Accountants?

I don’t think it’s much different to 30 years ago tbh, just the price tag is higher but that can be said about most things.

I was obsessed with Body Shop make-up and their White Musk. When Maybelline hit Boots I remember queuing for it. I used to roll my skirt up on the way to school. I had a ridiculous number of lipglosses. Used to spend hours plucking my eyebrows to the finest line, and wouldn’t be without my tinted moisturiser. My hair was plastered in Sun-in to give it a lovely orange hue but smelled gorgeous due to the copious amount of Paul Mitchel leave in conditioner.

I turned out OK despite my ‘vacuous’ interests. Managed to get a first class degree and career.

Oh yes, I forgot about this too! I trimmed the top of my bikini line so I could wear my satin trousers far lower than is decent. Lovely long torso showing my bellybutton ring that I got behind my parents backs when I was 14!

I live in Glasgow. I am not closely acquainted with any 12 year old girls but most conversations I overhear amongst 12 - 16 year olds (girls and boys) could be described as "vacuous". If they're actually purchasing high end skincare products they're obviously being funded by their parents. Or is it mostly talk and posturing? I'm not as saddened by pre-teens shallowness as the OP.

I was 14 too! My mother was horrified. She's in healthcare and told me not come crying to her when my belly ring got gangrene and my stomach 'fell off' 😂😂I still tease her now, 20+ years later for being so hysterical about it

I disagree with this. I’m amazed by how politically motivated teens are today compared to when I was a young teen. The Greta effect.

They are passionate about the environment, the trans debate, the economy, war, social injustice, Boko Haram, Donald Trump, Boris Johnson, the Met Police etc etc. And yes, they hear a lot of this on tiktok and other social media, but then come to the dinner table brimming with views, debates, and passion. They are so much more aware of what is going on in the world than we ever were. As parents we just need to teach them about algorithms, propaganda and being in echo chambers but most of the sensible ones know about all that anyway.

I wouldn't go anywhere without my crimper, black eyeliner and a vile black lipstick!! Bambi Thug would have been proud

I know, it's hideous! Luckily DD (16) is her own person and has never been sucked into the orange faced, Nike shorts, instapout fads that many of her friends have been - she is confident in herself and brave enough to stand out. But it did affect her friendships in Years 7/8/9 when they all started senior school and these sort of things became issues.

She was adamant she wouldn't shave her legs just due to peer pressure - but of course she did. Nobody needs unnecessary grief at school. But she never wears make up and only one pair of stud earrings.

She wants purple hair, an undercut, and earrings in her helix - and probably tattoos although she hasn't said. But accepts she needs to be at 6th form for these.....😊

But I'm proud that she hasn't bought into this horrible social media thing, and doesn't follow the crowd with every trend. She has a great friendship group now and if she doesn't want to go shopping with them every weekend or wear the latest shorts, nobody cares.

I do think it's sad that such young girls now are so bothered about trends and brands. They need time to develop their own style, and it's horrible that they feel the need to waste their money on commercial crap when they might need to get on the housing market etc.....

I'm genuinely already dreading the teenage years with my daughter. She's only 4 atm.

The young teenage girls I see around are clones of each other. Same exact hairstyle. Same style and colour of clothing. Same make up. Makes me feel a little depressed.

But then I think back to my own teenage years. I was clever, but extremely shy and introverted. I lived outside of catchment, so none of my classmates lived near me. I wasn't allowed to have people over, and no-one ever invited me anyway. Not that it mattered, as Mum couldn't drive, and everyone lived 2+ bus rides away, and we didn't have the spare cash for that. As a result I had absolutely zero social life outside of school. I was never interested in clothes or make up (still not TBF). I wasn't bullied, but equally I never had any strong friendships (still don't). Truthfully, I don't I want that for my daughter any more than her being a clone.

YABU. Adolescent girls have always been fixated on their appearance. It was the same 2 decades ago when I was that age. Nothing has changed, except the normality of lip fillers.

Hate to break it to you but even the ones that are not going along with the mainstream are still conforming to a ‘look’ and following a crowd. Just google purple hair helix piercing.

And I say this as a former teen that didn’t follow the crowd but looked exactly like my friends also not following the crowd 😉

Same here, boys, fashion, makeup. I had my first kiss aged 10.

When I started secondary school aged 11 I wore makeup every day. Just put it on at the bus stop and wiped it off on the way home. My mum gave up and allowed me aged 12.

We were all into the Body shop lip balms/perfume etc. Not exactly drunk elephant but this was back in '94.

The older ladies in town would slag off Anne of Green gables and her mates for their obsession with calico dresses and ribbons. It’s the same.

YANBU. My daughter is still only little and has a such a sweet and innocent way about her. I hope she doesn’t become a self-taking phone-addict and am hoping to delay her getting a smart phone for as long as possible. I think they can be really damaging.

This is a horrible thread. Picking on 12 year old girls for enjoying social media and following a few harmless trends. The teenage girls I know all work bloody hard at school, deal with a lot of peer pressure and feel huge demand to succeed in their exams and go to college/uni. They understand that the internet is full of weirdos trying to get them to send nude pictures of themselves and most boys their age are not worth their time. They're clever, kind, selfless kids who just want to express themselves with hair, make up and clothes like I did in the 80s and my mum did in the 60s. Vacuous indeed.

kids that age of both genders are equally vacuous just obsessed with different things.

before social media and the current lack of outdoor play for many children things were certainly better.

Yep 😆 I wrote papers on this - tribalism in youth culture. It's incredible how specific it has to be (and how fast it changes). As part of developing your identity, you must develop a look and persona that expresses your unique self ... and surround yourself with people having the same unique self and appearance, sharing your unique tastes in music, literature and entertainment, etc. Then you can all go around together, looking down on people who aren't as uniquely individual as you are (collectively) 😂

It's psychologically and anthropologically interesting. However, I was doing this to help brands market their wares to young opinion formers. One of my clients has had breathtaking success in this market - sorry, folks, but I'm part of the reason why Lynx was such a massive hit with young men!

It’s depressing to me how much money the teenage girls in my family waste on high tech skin care they do not in any way need just because it’s the ‘in’ product. It is quite literally money down the drain.

My favourite line about teenage "individuality" is from Phineas and Ferb.

For those not in the know, it is a Disney channel cartoon that is very very funny and on the nose with some many things. Also one of the voice actors is Richard O'Brian so worth it just for that.

Candace, the teen sister of the two main characters, goes to their mum and says "Mom!! Can I get a pink streak in my hair"
"No! Why would you want to do that?!"
"To assert my individuality......everyone is doing it!"

So right!
My mum still laughs at how her and her friends would roll up the waist bands of their school skirts to make them shorter in the 60's and then my friends and I would do the same in the 80's and you see girls in short skirts now. So nothing new there! Same with "sneaking" makeup or pushing the rules about hair. Twas ever thus.

We all wanted to be different and so ended up looking exactly the same.

Why did you never suggest that they name one of their sprays "Insteadofshower" because I guarantee that their sales would have been even higher, all bought by parents of teenage lads who had accepted the inevitable!