Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think it’s weird to marry your ex’s brother

77 replies

Pineapplepie · 13/05/2024 17:11

Honestly I know it’s not any of my business and I don’t really care, but I have an utterly gorgeous friend, who I love dearly. Who married her ex boyfriends brother, pretty quickly after breaking up. and occasionally it just crossed my mind and I’m baffled by it after almost a decade.
again
none of my bloody business and I’ll stay in my lane but am I weird for occasionally thinking this is odd.

OP posts:
Nottodaty · 13/05/2024 23:05

My cousin married his older brother’s ex girlfriend.

Family events very awkward. It’s now noticeable that the elder brother no longer attends family gatherings. It’s sad really they have been together for 10 years now but I think the older brother never has moved on or got over it - he’s been single since!

Angrymum22 · 13/05/2024 23:08

I had a brief fling with DH’s younger brother before I started seeing DH.We were part of a large social group linked to a sport. DBIL girlfriend, when DH and I got together, had no problem with it, but the woman he married has never been ok with it.

ItsFuckingBoringFeedingEveryoneUntilYouDie · 13/05/2024 23:12

Not quite the same, but I knew a couple whose parents swapped over. So the husband's mum married the wife's dad and the husband's dad married wife's mum. If I recall correctly, they all got it on at the couple's wedding.

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 13/05/2024 23:13

I know someone who was engaged to a man who died - she went on to have relationships with TWO of his brothers and eventually married a THIRD! The family adored her but I I think it's really fucking weird.

KimberleyClark · 13/05/2024 23:16

Themintwiththehole · 13/05/2024 17:16

I know someone who did this and had a baby with each brother. So the babies, who are both boys, are simultaneously half-brothers and cousins.

Just like on the Archers then.

BitOutOfPractice · 13/05/2024 23:18

It was good enough for Catherine of Aragon 🤷‍♀️

yeesh · 13/05/2024 23:20

😷

KimberleyClark · 13/05/2024 23:20

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 13/05/2024 23:13

I know someone who was engaged to a man who died - she went on to have relationships with TWO of his brothers and eventually married a THIRD! The family adored her but I I think it's really fucking weird.

Used to be against the law to marry your dead spouse’s sibling.

bhswxvg · 13/05/2024 23:21

Name changed for this as could be outing.

Member of my family married two brothers. Had children with both, so our family has half brothers who are also cousins.

On the same side of the family there is a huge family secret. Member of the family had an affair with her brother in law. The child which resulted does not know that their uncle is in fact their dad and their cousins are in fact their siblings. Child is now an adult and it is a secret that is waiting to explode. I have thought many times of exposing the secret but it's not my place.

StormingNorman · 13/05/2024 23:27

childlessandfree · 13/05/2024 22:59

I now someone that ran off with her auntys husband they have been together 25 years got 2 kids together and very happy.
He does however have 3 other kids with her aunt.

So she’s now stepmom to her cousins?

And her kids cousins are also her cousins?

ClareBlue · 13/05/2024 23:29

In Ireland it was illegal to marry your brother's widow until very recently. The law was changed a few years ago because a man and his brother's widow wanted to get married after being together for years and the registrar stopped it. The law was brought in to stop brothers killing each other to get the other's wife if they had chosen a good wife. The wife/widow doesn't seem to have had a say in it. I think there was similar in England until the 1920s.

Menapausemum1974 · 13/05/2024 23:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn - posted on wrong thread.

@YEAHinamechanged ❤️

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 13/05/2024 23:49

KimberleyClark · 13/05/2024 23:20

Used to be against the law to marry your dead spouse’s sibling.

She only married the fourth brother 😉

OrderOfTheKookaburra · 14/05/2024 01:26

After the death of someone I can see how the former partner and sibling would get close as they would be grieving together.

I know of one such couple (the brothers were twins) and his family were really supportive, thankfully.

ViciousCurrentBun · 14/05/2024 01:37

I have never ever fancied any of my sisters partners nor my friends partners even the good looking nice ones. It just seems very weird, like suddenly in my psyche an invisible chastity belt appears all of my own making.

thebestinterest · 14/05/2024 04:31

Themintwiththehole · 13/05/2024 17:16

I know someone who did this and had a baby with each brother. So the babies, who are both boys, are simultaneously half-brothers and cousins.

That’s actually amazing lol

Bobbotgegrinch · 14/05/2024 08:28

You think that's bad?

I used to have a friend who married his long term girlfriend shortly after they finished 6th form. A couple of years later he caught her shagging his uncle!

She and uncle then got married and as far as I know still are, all the family took their side and told my friend he should just deal with it.

BrightonFrock · 14/05/2024 08:47

Didn’t the widower of the teacher killed in the Dunblane massacre later marry her sister?

Psychoticbreak · 14/05/2024 08:49

Happened in my family. Cousin married long time gf, they split then she went on to marry his brother and is happy with him. Bit of a scandal at the time but nobody bats an eyelid now. I guess it is how it is all 'done' so to speak. It wasnt some disgusting secret, it was told as matter of fact and they all seem to get along. Guess you cant help who you fall for.

That said I would have chopped off all my ladyparts had my exes brother come within a city of me let alone touched me.

KreedKafer · 14/05/2024 08:52

Themintwiththehole · 13/05/2024 17:16

I know someone who did this and had a baby with each brother. So the babies, who are both boys, are simultaneously half-brothers and cousins.

This was also a plot in The Archers!

Sparklfairy · 14/05/2024 08:52

Themintwiththehole · 13/05/2024 17:16

I know someone who did this and had a baby with each brother. So the babies, who are both boys, are simultaneously half-brothers and cousins.

Same. My ex was one of the half-brothers/cousins as his mum had kids with two brothers. Weird as fuck. They all lived in a weird insular village and all got with each other - the village has an odd reputation. Last I heard my ex is now with a woman who I met once - she was 12 at the time. He was 28 then. He's known her since she a toddler and he was already an adult yet he refuses to accept it's creepy.

drusth · 14/05/2024 08:52

Sounds like he’s not good enough for her? Has he pounced on her when she was on the rebound?

UrbanFan · 14/05/2024 08:53

It all depends on how they all get on I suppose.

I can remember dating guys and when you meet the siblings finding the older brothers were hot!

If it was good enough for Henry VIII to marry his dead brother's widow then I don't see why not.😀

OneThreadOnly · 14/05/2024 12:19

KarmenPQZ · 13/05/2024 22:42

Woah. So your aunt is now your step mum? Did you used to call her auntie? Do you still or fill over to mum?

She sis used to be Aunty X, then just became X. My children call her Nanny X

It was all a long time ago, no one has fallen out although I am sure they did at the time.